If I had a nickel for every time a hardass, blond-haired angel woman fell for a silver-haired cleric lady I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.
Seriously, I just realized while playing Unicorn Overlord. Also, play Unicorn Overload. I won’t say play Baldur’s Gate 3. You’re on tumblr, you’ve already played it.
Astarion: I suppose you’re wondering why I called you here.
Tav and Aylin stand before Astarion, arms crossed. Per Astarion’s request, they are in their workout clothes.
Aylin: Speak, spawn. You keep me from my beloved and the warmth of her arms.
Tav: You’re really horny, you know that?
Aylin: Spend a century trapped in darkness with naught but pain and despair as your companions. See how much you can resist the object of your desires then.
Tav: Fair.
Astarion: I called you here because I need you to teach me wrestling.
The Tiefling (6’6 without the horns) and Aasimar (6’7 without the wings) stare at the hundred and fifty pound elf. The pair of brick shithouses share a glance.
Tav: That…doesn’t really seem like your style.
Astarion: This isn’t for fighting.
Aylin: Are you mocking us, spawn?
Astarion: I am serious, darling.
Tav: Then why?
Astarion: Because I want to be on top from time to time!
The three of them turn to the other end of the field. Karlach (6’8 without the horn) is twirling, Shadowheart and Isobel hanging from either arm. They all laugh merrily.
The Paladins each grasp Astarion’s shoulder.
Tav: We understand.
Aylin: We will aid you as best we can.
After many grueling weeks of training, Astarion finally got to be on top. Because he asked.
A little bonding between Aasimar and Tiefling.
A sequel to my last post featuring the two Angry Paladins.
Isobel and Shadowheart are bending over to play with Scratch. Face squishes and kissy faces flow freely.
Tav and Dame Aylin approach from opposite sides of the camp. Their paths cross exactly where their respective Magic Moon Wives’ are playing with Scratch. Facing away from them. Their posteriors wiggling innocently in the air.
As if by some great force, the two Paladin’s eyes are drawn to the glorious sight. As one they stare.
Tav & Aylin: *in their minds* Firm butt…
They drool.
Tav & Aylin: *thinking very intensely* So round.
Inhibitions lost.
Tav & Aylin: *madness descending* MUST TOUCH!
With their hands a hairs breath away from the moon of their choosing, the two lovestruck idiots finally notice each other.
In front of them, Isobel and Shadowheart are startled by a loud slapping sound. They turn to find their spouses like this:
They have no idea what happened, only that the two Paladin’s have come to some profound understanding. Something deep and spiritual.
Wanted them to be friendly this time.
