commission for @breitzbachbea of her lovely oc michele and our mans lovino in her cell block tango au! you’ll never guess which soundtrack i listened to on repeat while drawing this ;) 

if you’d like your own little commission, here’s my: 

commission info | my ko-fi

Bea.. I love you for commissioning this. We need to talk about this au more again (especially the aftermath) <3

Not to infect @/breitzbachbea and @/fireandiceland even more (or take away from the very important cannibal discussion, obv) but I was listening to this song and was suddenly hit with remembering the cellblock tango au

I didn’t know the song but omg it’s LOVELY. I’m saving it for possible future playlists 👀

Also the cell block tango au will forever have a special place in my heart (and on my to do list, I wanted to edit a little comic for the morning after but still didn’t do it 💀💀).

As I know Bea she will probably analyse the shit out of how parts of the cell block tango au are about eating people soon, so I’m just going to wait for that.👀

Cute Cell Block Tango AU thought (here's the post if you don't know what I'm talking about):

Practice takes all day one time and the Southerners hold a siesta after noon out of habit.

No argueing, no bickering, no fighting, just Antonio, Lovino, Michele, Herakles and Sadık in a big pile, sleeping on/against a couch and a carpet. Erzsébet probably also joined them.

The Northerners are quite confused, but Toris argues it's probably for the better and a welcome breather, so they just take some time to slack off together as well.

Okay, but I just thought... what if all of this happened organically. Like, this would make a cute little comic of how this pile just happened over time.

Let's say it started with Lovino and Michele, who're just knackered after lunch and end up talking/bickering in one of the dressing rooms. Antonio went to get something or just stuck around talking to someone else. So by the time he comes into the dressing room, Lovino and Michele are snoozing next to each other. Antonio is delighted - Oh, aren't they cute when they aren't at each other's throat! It's just like Lovi and Feli! It's almost like the time when they both used to live under my roof! And it's been a while since he had two Italians in his arms ... so he settles next to them to snooze off as well.

Herakles and Sadık stumble on the dressing room whilst talking/argueing and take a double take through the open door. Herakles thinks the view is pretty cute and tells Sadık to shut up to not wake anyone. He goes to sit to Michele's other side, very softly and lovingly stroking his friend's hair, and says he could go for a nap as well. Sadık: "I'm sure you could, sleepycat." So he does and Sadık thinks so as well. Since there's no more space on the couch, he briefly thinks of pushing Antonio off but knows that won't have the desired outcome sits on the carpet and rests his head against Herakles' lap.

By the time Erzsébet stumbles over the people pile, probably because she was looking for them, things have shifted a bit. Specifically, Lovino has squeezed himself closer to Antonio, who subsequently ended up nearly on the floor as well, and Michele has cuddled closer to Herakles. So Erzsì thinks "It's free real estate" and plants herself inbetween the two adorable Italians.

#I both think that Michele and Lovino are flirtsy with Erzsébet and that she still kind of views them as kids#like she does with Feli#flattered! but also - does your mother know that you're out?

THIS YES THEY WOULD BOTH BE TRYING SO HARD but guys I've got new for you you're boys and she likes men

I really wish i had the time and patience to find out how to search for costume behind the scenes/like, if there are any like film wardrobe archives online. Wouldn't bet on extras on a simple dvd...

Because not only would i really like a good reference for the merry murderesss outfits from Chicago, but also at what their partners are wearing.

:)

Tonight is really just

Credit rating across the US and the EU. “Credit Rating” means the likelihood of a particular state or country to pay back its debts. The better the rating, the safer the place is to invest. 2020 data 🇺🇸🇪🇺🗺️

@alfredtalia @breitzbachbea @dappy-dappernette @ellawritesficssometimes @ladyhistory @lorenzodelcielo @modernday-jay I see a lotta opportunity for discussion here let’s go

That reminds me of when me and @fireandiceland talked about which nations would want to sell tickets vs doing it for free in the Cell Block Tango AU 😂

yes lmao, that’s too good not to share. all the posts regarding the Cell Block Tango AU are here btw

Nordic countries: “This is for fun, right? We don’t need to sell tickets or anything the like! Let’s make it free entry for everyone.”

Mediterranean countries: „…the fuck you talkin about fam?“

Netherlands (just for good measure): >setting up cash register despite not even being involved<

Bea I'm telling you once again, stop hiding your comedic talent in the tags.

#Michele: The difference between a whore and a slut is that a whore gets paid! And I may be a whore but I sure am no slut!#Herakles: Well I do hope you make exceptions because I do not have whore money...#Michele: I'm a slut for friends <3#Herakles: How sweet <3#Antonio: Pfft how cute... Hey Lovi wanna grab dinner tonight?#Lovino: Sure if you pay.#Antonio:... uhm -#Lovino: The only slut I am is for Pizza. Otherwise I'm a whore. Your whore.#Antonio: How romantic!... but seriously I am also broke-

Credit rating across the US and the EU. “Credit Rating” means the likelihood of a particular state or country to pay back its debts. The better the rating, the safer the place is to invest. 2020 data 🇺🇸🇪🇺🗺️

@alfredtalia @breitzbachbea @dappy-dappernette @ellawritesficssometimes @ladyhistory @lorenzodelcielo @modernday-jay I see a lotta opportunity for discussion here let’s go

That reminds me of when me and @fireandiceland talked about which nations would want to sell tickets vs doing it for free in the Cell Block Tango AU 😂

yes lmao, that's too good not to share. all the posts regarding the Cell Block Tango AU are here btw

Nordic countries: "This is for fun, right? We don't need to sell tickets or anything the like! Let's make it free entry for everyone."

Mediterranean countries: „…the fuck you talkin about fam?“

Netherlands (just for good measure): >setting up cash register despite not even being involved<

Snippet from the little fic for the Cell Block Tango AU I'll hopefully be able to post by tonight:

“Oh.” Erzsébet stopped in her tracks. “I guess this is already occupied.” “Kind of,” Antonio said. “But Lovino’s almost done.” “Unless someone decides to interrupt me some more,” Lovino answered and glared at Michele over his shoulder. Michele rubbed his finger below his lower lip. “You’ve missed some lipstick there.” “You’ll have to scratch out lipstick from the inside of your eye socket if you won’t shut it.”

“You’ll have to scratch out lipstick from the inside of your eye socket if you won’t shut it.”

Now that’s how I know my boy Lovino

This is legit one of the reasons I love to write Lovino, his swearing, threats and rants are so much fun.

Also, your rb and @cunchishai's "👀" made me think that it's a pity I haven't thought too much about actual catfights yet. I love the banter and the posturing, but you know what? People should actually throw hands. Not just lover's quarrells when Matthias can't behave or Herakles actually getting worked up with Sadık so he pushes him off the stage. Not even Natalya disciplining everyone.

People like Antonio and Sadık really rolling in the dirt because hot air wasn't enough anymore. That'd be hilarious.

Oh god, please insert @artistocrazy's "I'm a Diplomat, but" drawing of Roderich. He's just had about enough at this point, too, but doesn't get it solved and only thrown into it and at the end, Erzsì has to solve the situation.

#truly an reenactment of the Habsburg-Ottoman Wars at this point#also I keep imagining Feliks tagging along with Toris and Natalya because he's bored#and I HAVE to imagine him watching the practice after Natalya took over and everyone is stiff with fear#Feliks: -cups hands in front of his mouth- I don't wanna slutshame but y'all could be sluttier!#Feliks IS also recording any petty scuffles that break out and posts it with THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTIIIING#Michele is constantly on edge because he is fighting against his own psyche#doing a rosary against improper thoughts#his nerves are fraught enough that I can see him actually throwing it down with Lovino#if the latter annoys him enough#oh maybe a nordic scuffle could also be fun if like. mads and lukas are argueing#and the other two are taking sides#or mads just takes it out on berwald#they'd be cool by the end of the day again though#by the end of the hour. five minutes after the deed. s fine.

@breitzbachbea stop hiding all these gems in the tags omg

The Hetalia "Cell Block Tango" AU/Scenario

This idea left my brain last saturday and, as usual, has already completely spun out of control two days later. Much thanks to Riva (@fireandiceland) for their open ear and grandiose input, all of the following bullshit would not have been possible without them.

This is essentially an update to this post about a "Cell Block Tango" Performance for Hetalia ships that at some point could be construed as partner exercising foreign rule over the other. We've talked about it as a show that the countries put on for fun, so it's not really an AU. We're here to be horny and have fun, not to be dramatic and edgy, okay. (Or at least not "actual murder" dramatic).

Here's the list of the couples and their corresponding parts that we settled on. (I'll use the names of the characters from "Chicago" & their iconic little cue).

Liz/Pop - SuFin, with Tino as Liz. The ship was Riva's suggestion and I like them for this part not only because the triviality of the murder motive suits their domestic vibe, but the violent solution fits Tino's wilder/more darker side that sleeps under that friendly exterior.

Annie/Six - Spamano, with Lovino as Annie. Look, Riva agreed that loose lover Antonio seems plausible, I think poisoning is a good way to murder for Lovino and I also. Really. Just love the image of the "deathkiss" and then Lovino kicking Antonio two meters across the stage. And I am sure that Antonio feels the same way as I do.

June/Squish - DenNor, with Lukas as June. I mostly settled on them because I can see Matthias be somewhat possessive and I can see him thoroughly excited for the choreography. (Maybe also for the fact that he gets to wear no shirt). Riva also said that the scenario itself and the ambiguity about whether or not June actually cheated meshes well with Lukas' more elusive nature.

Hunyak/Uh-Uh - LietBel, with Natalya as Hunyak. (Natalya? Natasha? I'm sorry if I misremembered her name, use whatever floats your boat). We both agreed that we needed Natalya in this, but I couldn't quite find a ship with her quickly that worked well with my original definition of Empire/Territory. Giving her Hunyak's innocent part solves that problem, subverts her often arguably pretty meh canon/fanon interpretations and she gets to have a beautiful dance number with Toris. Toris, who is just really happy for his girlfriend and resigned between the hotblooded, horny chaos that is the rest :).

Velma/Cicero - TurGre, with Herakles as Velma. I thought the cheating situation suited them, as I have a weakness for Herakles being Sadık's favourite, but certainly not only bedfellow at all times and the intensity of the rage is one Herakles well-deserves (if only for show these days). Plus, their performance required a third person and lemme tell you, they do not lack options in my brain. I considered Mohammed (Egypt) at first, but then thought he'd probably politely decline but would surely love to watch the show for "moral support". So instead I went for my Sicily OC Michele as Veronica, because mom said it's my turn on the self-indulgence machine.

Mona/Lipschitz - AusHun, with Erzsébet as Mona. I was sold at the "a real artistic guy, sensitive" part (even though Roderich is rather a musician than a painter) and Riva pointed out that the cheating also could be a great reference to the Habsburg marriage politics.

Further Thoughts (& Thots) for this under the cut, because I knew if I had this post uncut on my dash, I'd murder someone too:

I made an edit last night I just need to finish it and will probably post it tonight!!

Some more additions (one of which I totally did not forget to simply put in the first time around, no ma'am):

- At some point, Natalya goes from micromanaging her part of the performance to micromanaging everything. She will not risk these clowns ruining her moment by fucking up their part. Which, since Natalya becomes an artistic director that could rival a national ballet instructor or an army chief, does change the on-set atmosphere considerably. Everyone is now terrified of Natalya and no one even dares to be horny or argue too boldly.

- Feliks tags along with Natalya and Toris for half of the practices, because he's bored. He also helped with the costumes after Erzsébet had asked him. (He initially wanted to join, but couldn't find a partner and then all roles were already taken by other people). As his ass is not on the line, he's also not too concerned with pissing Natalya off. So while everyone is stiff with fear, Feliks is in the audience like: -cups hands- "I don't mean to slutshame, but y'all could be sluttier!"

- Mads: "Uh, Natalya, dearest, it's so great that you're so invested in all of this, but don't you think the rigid training is killing a bit of the playful eroticism that it needs -"

Natalya: -death glare-

Mads: "No, of course, forgot that I said anything."

Tino: "One would think he'd be a bit braver ... Maybe Erzsébet could talk with her."

- Now that I finally published this fic for the AU, here's some more South Italian Bitching that somewhat references it:

Michele: "Well, I guess we have reached the tipping point, because there is not a spark of horny in my veins now, but I sure am scared."

Lovino: "That feels about right... Wait, you're not supposed to feel horny here, anyways. Horny and scared for who, you thirdwheel."

Michele: "Oh, I'm sorry that I have two functioning eyes and a sex-drive around a bunch of people in lingerie. Don't lose any sleep, I'm not oogling Antonio. You on top of him is really the least sexy thing he could wear and that man has some fuckugly shirts."

Lovino: "You know what, we should get back to practicing, at least then you're too busy clinging upside down to someone else's thighs, who ain't your man, to spew hot air in my face."

Michele: "Which is a far better use of my time, with a much better view, than being face to face with you."

Lovino snorts and grins. "Oh, I'm sure it is."

Herakles: "Hey now, calm down. You two don't have to be like that to each other, hm?"

Lovino, when the other two turn to leave, whispering to Herakles: "I'd keep an eye on him, if I were you. You heard what he said, right?"

Herakles smiles. "And that is none of your business."

Lovino: " ... wait, what's that supposed to -"

I may also add that there is going to be an after show party that everyone is invited to? I just love the stuff we talked about yesterday.. Gilbert being supposed to babysit the micronations and then he just.. shows up at the after party like no ones business 😂

Bestie, you're so right. I hope you won't mind me essentially pasting our conversation here:

- The gang decides to get dinner together one evening after practice. And because, to quote Erzsébet, "the more the merrier", they invite a few more of their friends.

- Like François and Gilbert.

Lovino: "Ugh, yes Antonio, your annoying friends are exactly what I needed in my life right now."

Lukas: "Gilbert and Mathias are very much the antidote to a relaxed evening."

Mathias: "Gilbert's coming with us? Sweet!"

- The Nordics invite Emil, but are surprised when he shows up without his boyfriend.

Emil: "I'm only here because Lukas bribed me with free food. Of course I won't bring my boyfriend along, he doesn't need to know what embarassing stuff you get up to in your free time these days! I didn't want to wake up single tomorrow!"

(Bonus: Emil ends up talking about birds with Gilbert.)

#i hope it is okay that I didn't mark who of us wrote what but if you want me to then do tell <3#this is a group project. the class probably is horrified that we are presenting it but we are having fun.

first of all of course you dont have to mark all these things I'm merely here to shout stupid stuff from the back of the class and I made like 2 slides for the powerpoint. that's my contribution.

Cute Cell Block Tango AU thought (here's the post if you don't know what I'm talking about):

Practice takes all day one time and the Southerners hold a siesta after noon out of habit.

No argueing, no bickering, no fighting, just Antonio, Lovino, Michele, Herakles and Sadık in a big pile, sleeping on/against a couch and a carpet. Erzsébet probably also joined them.

The Northerners are quite confused, but Toris argues it's probably for the better and a welcome breather, so they just take some time to slack off together as well.

#Erzsì wakes up as only one covered in a blanket#cuz of Roderich. tugging his love in <3 they're in LOVE your honor!

#Toris is like good. Good. Two hours without anyone being violent. Or violently horny.#Hopefully two hours for Natalya to also just. chill. Provided the Nordics don't rile her up but I don't think so.#I bet she is actually pretty delightful outside of practice. I'M SOR RY I'm so fucking sorry I just misread rile for rail and I think Natalya just got invited to the nordics after after party orgy

The Hetalia "Cell Block Tango" AU/Scenario

This idea left my brain last saturday and, as usual, has already completely spun out of control two days later. Much thanks to Riva (@fireandiceland) for their open ear and grandiose input, all of the following bullshit would not have been possible without them.

This is essentially an update to this post about a "Cell Block Tango" Performance for Hetalia ships that at some point could be construed as partner exercising foreign rule over the other. We've talked about it as a show that the countries put on for fun, so it's not really an AU. We're here to be horny and have fun, not to be dramatic and edgy, okay. (Or at least not "actual murder" dramatic).

Here's the list of the couples and their corresponding parts that we settled on. (I'll use the names of the characters from "Chicago" & their iconic little cue).

Liz/Pop - SuFin, with Tino as Liz. The ship was Riva's suggestion and I like them for this part not only because the triviality of the murder motive suits their domestic vibe, but the violent solution fits Tino's wilder/more darker side that sleeps under that friendly exterior.

Annie/Six - Spamano, with Lovino as Annie. Look, Riva agreed that loose lover Antonio seems plausible, I think poisoning is a good way to murder for Lovino and I also. Really. Just love the image of the "deathkiss" and then Lovino kicking Antonio two meters across the stage. And I am sure that Antonio feels the same way as I do.

June/Squish - DenNor, with Lukas as June. I mostly settled on them because I can see Matthias be somewhat possessive and I can see him thoroughly excited for the choreography. (Maybe also for the fact that he gets to wear no shirt). Riva also said that the scenario itself and the ambiguity about whether or not June actually cheated meshes well with Lukas' more elusive nature.

Hunyak/Uh-Uh - LietBel, with Natalya as Hunyak. (Natalya? Natasha? I'm sorry if I misremembered her name, use whatever floats your boat). We both agreed that we needed Natalya in this, but I couldn't quite find a ship with her quickly that worked well with my original definition of Empire/Territory. Giving her Hunyak's innocent part solves that problem, subverts her often arguably pretty meh canon/fanon interpretations and she gets to have a beautiful dance number with Toris. Toris, who is just really happy for his girlfriend and resigned between the hotblooded, horny chaos that is the rest :).

Velma/Cicero - TurGre, with Herakles as Velma. I thought the cheating situation suited them, as I have a weakness for Herakles being Sadık's favourite, but certainly not only bedfellow at all times and the intensity of the rage is one Herakles well-deserves (if only for show these days). Plus, their performance required a third person and lemme tell you, they do not lack options in my brain. I considered Mohammed (Egypt) at first, but then thought he'd probably politely decline but would surely love to watch the show for "moral support". So instead I went for my Sicily OC Michele as Veronica, because mom said it's my turn on the self-indulgence machine.

Mona/Lipschitz - AusHun, with Erzsébet as Mona. I was sold at the "a real artistic guy, sensitive" part (even though Roderich is rather a musician than a painter) and Riva pointed out that the cheating also could be a great reference to the Habsburg marriage politics.

Further Thoughts (& Thots) for this under the cut, because I knew if I had this post uncut on my dash, I'd murder someone too:

I made an edit last night I just need to finish it and will probably post it tonight!!

Some more additions (one of which I totally did not forget to simply put in the first time around, no ma'am):

- At some point, Natalya goes from micromanaging her part of the performance to micromanaging everything. She will not risk these clowns ruining her moment by fucking up their part. Which, since Natalya becomes an artistic director that could rival a national ballet instructor or an army chief, does change the on-set atmosphere considerably. Everyone is now terrified of Natalya and no one even dares to be horny or argue too boldly.

- Feliks tags along with Natalya and Toris for half of the practices, because he's bored. He also helped with the costumes after Erzsébet had asked him. (He initially wanted to join, but couldn't find a partner and then all roles were already taken by other people). As his ass is not on the line, he's also not too concerned with pissing Natalya off. So while everyone is stiff with fear, Feliks is in the audience like: -cups hands- "I don't mean to slutshame, but y'all could be sluttier!"

- Mads: "Uh, Natalya, dearest, it's so great that you're so invested in all of this, but don't you think the rigid training is killing a bit of the playful eroticism that it needs -"

Natalya: -death glare-

Mads: "No, of course, forgot that I said anything."

Tino: "One would think he'd be a bit braver ... Maybe Erzsébet could talk with her."

- Now that I finally published this fic for the AU, here's some more South Italian Bitching that somewhat references it:

Michele: "Well, I guess we have reached the tipping point, because there is not a spark of horny in my veins now, but I sure am scared."

Lovino: "That feels about right... Wait, you're not supposed to feel horny here, anyways. Horny and scared for who, you thirdwheel."

Michele: "Oh, I'm sorry that I have two functioning eyes and a sex-drive around a bunch of people in lingerie. Don't lose any sleep, I'm not oogling Antonio. You on top of him is really the least sexy thing he could wear and that man has some fuckugly shirts."

Lovino: "You know what, we should get back to practicing, at least then you're too busy clinging upside down to someone else's thighs, who ain't your man, to spew hot air in my face."

Michele: "Which is a far better use of my time, with a much better view, than being face to face with you."

Lovino snorts and grins. "Oh, I'm sure it is."

Herakles: "Hey now, calm down. You two don't have to be like that to each other, hm?"

Lovino, when the other two turn to leave, whispering to Herakles: "I'd keep an eye on him, if I were you. You heard what he said, right?"

Herakles smiles. "And that is none of your business."

Lovino: " ... wait, what's that supposed to -"

I may also add that there is going to be an after show party that everyone is invited to? I just love the stuff we talked about yesterday.. Gilbert being supposed to babysit the micronations and then he just.. shows up at the after party like no ones business 😂

If I'd done it [Hetalia Fanfic]

I've finally finished the Fic I've been mentioning in this post for the Cell Block Tango AU. Summary: Herakles and Sadık need a third person for their part of the "Cell Block Tango". Their Egyptian friend declined, but luckily, Michele says yes. Characters: Greece, Turkey, Sicily (my OC), Italy Romano, Spain, Hungary, Austria, Denmark, Norway Ships: Spamano, AusHun, DenNor (briefly), TurGre, whatever the fuck is going on with Turkey, Greece and Sicily Rating: Teen? Mature? Look kids, I won't tag this nsfw, but beware of fumbling and some implied raunchyness. Word count: 2465

Human names used - Michele is Sicily. Foreign words are marked in red and translations are provided at the end. That's where I'll also put a picture of my boy Michele for visual reference.

Likes/Reblogs appreciated! <3

The changing room was more than comfortable for two people to share, but five felt like a crowd.

Lovino had been trying on his outfit, with Antonio’s eager help. Sometimes, the usual look of happiness and eagerness had been dropped for a second, eyes flitting to some part of the scantily clad – if at all – body to leer.

Michele wondered if Antonio had been aware that Lovino could have seen some of these looks still through the mirror.

I already loved the first draft and I love it even more now. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💕

Snippet from the little fic for the Cell Block Tango AU I'll hopefully be able to post by tonight:

“Oh.” Erzsébet stopped in her tracks. “I guess this is already occupied.” “Kind of,” Antonio said. “But Lovino’s almost done.” “Unless someone decides to interrupt me some more,” Lovino answered and glared at Michele over his shoulder. Michele rubbed his finger below his lower lip. “You’ve missed some lipstick there.” “You’ll have to scratch out lipstick from the inside of your eye socket if you won’t shut it.”

“You’ll have to scratch out lipstick from the inside of your eye socket if you won’t shut it.”

Now that’s how I know my boy Lovino

I love how at the end of the day, all roads do be leading back to SicIre.

I'm still thinking about that Cell Block Tango thingie and thought about the 'ensemble' getting dinner at a restaurant together, inviting some friends in even. And removing all the eroticism that the core event carries, essentially getting my head out of the gutter, my thoughts wandered back to Michele's feeling of 'not belonging'.

And it turned into other people giving each other lovey-dovey eyes, laughing about their partner's jokes, just being in love and Michele really feels out of place.

There's no one he can give any looks like that. Sure, he used to have the starry eyes for Herakles, but that's long gone and pointless, anyways. He's got nothing to give that someone else can't and he surely can't compete with someone who used to swathe their beloveds in gold and silk.

So I imagine, a few days or weeks after the whole shebang is over, he's back in Sicily, minding his business. Sitting in a bar to have his breakfast when a tourist walks in.

Presumably.

Very quickly he realizes that he knows the freckled, sweaty and probably already sunburnt man. From when there was a world conference on the island a year or so ago, which Lovino and Feliciano hosted, but Michele hung around to chat with old friends. Michele and the Irishman had accidentally run into each other, but gotten along well and had kind of seen each other a few times afterwards, but nothing serious had happened yet.

So there stands the nation of Ireland,actually called Liam in Hetalia since that is a ton more accurate than my name for him & I'd like to be more accurate. But he had my name for eight years, so forgive me for calling him not by any name for this post, lest I'd irritate my sense of familiarity.

So the Irishman stands there, probably desperately trying not to collapse from the heat and scans the bar. Michele calls out his name and his eyes snap over to him before his feet also carry him.

So Michele greets him and asks him what he is doing here, to which he responds oh there was a world conference somewhere nearby, Rome or so, and what is an hour or two flight to Palermo? And he said he'd seen "The Performance", so he had thought of him again.

Michele wants to nearly die on the spot, before he remembers that the Irishman cannot possibly know what happened after the Performance, so instead he goes over to flirting. "Oh? Did you like what you saw?"

And they end up spending the day together and it is probably the first of many proper dates, because Michele also deserves to have someone to look at him with love - and to be able to return the love.

The Hetalia "Cell Block Tango" AU/Scenario

This idea left my brain last saturday and, as usual, has already completely spun out of control two days later. Much thanks to Riva (@fireandiceland) for their open ear and grandiose input, all of the following bullshit would not have been possible without them.

This is essentially an update to this post about a "Cell Block Tango" Performance for Hetalia ships that at some point could be construed as partner exercising foreign rule over the other. We've talked about it as a show that the countries put on for fun, so it's not really an AU. We're here to be horny and have fun, not to be dramatic and edgy, okay. (Or at least not "actual murder" dramatic).

Here's the list of the couples and their corresponding parts that we settled on. (I'll use the names of the characters from "Chicago" & their iconic little cue).

Liz/Pop - SuFin, with Tino as Liz. The ship was Riva's suggestion and I like them for this part not only because the triviality of the murder motive suits their domestic vibe, but the violent solution fits Tino's wilder/more darker side that sleeps under that friendly exterior.

Annie/Six - Spamano, with Lovino as Annie. Look, Riva agreed that loose lover Antonio seems plausible, I think poisoning is a good way to murder for Lovino and I also. Really. Just love the image of the "deathkiss" and then Lovino kicking Antonio two meters across the stage. And I am sure that Antonio feels the same way as I do.

June/Squish - DenNor, with Lukas as June. I mostly settled on them because I can see Matthias be somewhat possessive and I can see him thoroughly excited for the choreography. (Maybe also for the fact that he gets to wear no shirt). Riva also said that the scenario itself and the ambiguity about whether or not June actually cheated meshes well with Lukas' more elusive nature.

Hunyak/Uh-Uh - LietBel, with Natalya as Hunyak. (Natalya? Natasha? I'm sorry if I misremembered her name, use whatever floats your boat). We both agreed that we needed Natalya in this, but I couldn't quite find a ship with her quickly that worked well with my original definition of Empire/Territory. Giving her Hunyak's innocent part solves that problem, subverts her often arguably pretty meh canon/fanon interpretations and she gets to have a beautiful dance number with Toris. Toris, who is just really happy for his girlfriend and resigned between the hotblooded, horny chaos that is the rest :).

Velma/Cicero - TurGre, with Herakles as Velma. I thought the cheating situation suited them, as I have a weakness for Herakles being Sadık's favourite, but certainly not only bedfellow at all times and the intensity of the rage is one Herakles well-deserves (if only for show these days). Plus, their performance required a third person and lemme tell you, they do not lack options in my brain. I considered Mohammed (Egypt) at first, but then thought he'd probably politely decline but would surely love to watch the show for "moral support". So instead I went for my Sicily OC Michele as Veronica, because mom said it's my turn on the self-indulgence machine.

Mona/Lipschitz - AusHun, with Erzsébet as Mona. I was sold at the "a real artistic guy, sensitive" part (even though Roderich is rather a musician than a painter) and Riva pointed out that the cheating also could be a great reference to the Habsburg marriage politics.

Further Thoughts (& Thots) for this under the cut, because I knew if I had this post uncut on my dash, I'd murder someone too:

I made an edit last night I just need to finish it and will probably post it tonight!!