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I needed an outlet for some unpleasant feelings so I count this as a vent piece but also it's mint chocolate based on this post so I wanted to share it <3

-> no warnings for nsfw but it's really sad tbh

"I'm sorry, I..." Arthur mumbled as he buckled his belt. The sentence was never finished.

Allen took a shaky breath. Maybe Arthur's words were genuine, but it didn't change anything right now. Fighting the tears, he didn't dare to look anywhere close to the direction in which Arthur stood and buttoned up his shirt. He just kept staring at the ceiling of the hotel room, studying the spots of dirt and wondering how they ever got there.

"'It's okay," came a weak answer from Allen. It wasn't okay. He wasn't okay.

Arthur looked to the bed where Allen lay splayed out. Regret and another emotion that he couldn't quite put his finger onto made him feel queasy. It's not that he didn't want to stay. But he couldn't. With a resigned expression and a sigh he turned away from Allen, looking out the dirty window towards the approaching sunset.

It was only when Arthur turned away that Allen noticed that he had been looking at him at all. He reached out for the cigarette that Arthur had left in the ashtray on the nightstand and took a drag, little pieces of ash falling onto his naked chest. The burn in his lungs that he usually loathed felt like a relief right now, reminding him that his numb body was still capable of feeling anything at all. Biting back a sob and the tears threatening to well up in his eyes, Allen put the cigarette back. He didn't notice the wary look Arthur gave him.

"I'll text you, alright?"

For once Allen turned to his side to at least get a look of Arthur's back as he closed his coat, but he could hardly force his eyes to focus. His mind was racing, his head full, but there was not a single word he could get out.

"See you soon, baby."

Allen only nodded, almost winced at the nickname. His throat was tied shut by the need to cry that crept up from his burning lungs and stinging chest. He watched Arthur leave with an emotionless expression, but the moment he heard the door click shut, the tears began to fall.

Despite knowing that it would only hurt him more, Allen rolled to the other side of the bed and went up to the window. Peeking out the window without getting too close, he wiped the tears from his eyes to get a somewhat clear view of Arthur, who got into his car down in the parking lot.

The shiny black Rolls Royce looked out of place among the two worn-out cars, one of them being Allen's. Is this how Arthur sees him too, when Allen stays at his house? Out of place?

Allen let out a heavy sigh as Arthur drove off onto the street and out of sight. The ache in his chest got worse, making him sit back down onto the bed with his head in his hands and tears leaving dark wet stains on the carpeted floor. For a while the only noise in the world seemed to be Allen's sobs and pained cries.

When the sun was almost set and the last few rays crept into the room, Allen had calmed down enough to take a few steady breaths. He stood up on shaky legs, gathered his clothes from around the small room and got dressed, but only realised that he was fully clothed when he caught a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror. His movements had felt externally controlled, as if he was only a passenger in his own body.

Without another look back into the room, Allen closed the door behind himself. This time the click came with a feeling of relief. It was over. A day that went nothing like he had hoped and imagined it to come to an end. Once again, hot tears threatened to spill from his eyes, but Allen quickly wiped them away and went straight down the hall to get down to his car. At least Arthur had offered to pay for the room.

Allen kicked the door of his car shut after throwing his bag onto the backseat. The plan had been to stay the night here, but he couldn't bear sleeping in the hotel room alone. Not after everything that had happened there today. But what now?

His head felt empty. Even the spiralling thoughts had left his mind by now. Should he go home? And then what? Allen let himself fall onto the curb rather unceremoniously and leant against a streetlamp as he watched the last seconds of the sunset before night time would drown the world in darkness.

For a while he watched the cars go by, wondering where all those people might be headed to. To see their lovers? Friends? Family? Maybe to a fancy restaurant or a special place.. Whatever the right answer was, it was something more fun than crying in an empty parking lot on Valentine's Day while the man you loved was on the way home to his wife.