What are you afraid of?

Death of the Author's actual meaning was that an author's identity and intentions shouldn't limit the interpretation of text, not that you get to ignore the text altogether and substitute your own reality.

“It’s like the universe is screaming at you…”

ALSO enough with gerrard. jesus fuck. they really should have invented a New Annoying Guy bc the way they've turned him into this silly goofy clown of a man is soooo infuriating. he's an actively BAD DUDE. i'm sooo tired of them brining ppl back with no resolution for their awful racist sexist behavior and then just pretending they're just a silly goose. i wish buck had killed him fr pls ENOUGH😭😭

quick doodle of a buddie hug bc im a basic bitch <33

Bobby in 8x07

OLIVER STARK as EVAN 'BUCK' BUCKLEY 9-1-1 - S08 E07 · Hotshots

The jury's out, but my choice is you

Rating: G

Fandom: 9-1-1

Pairing: Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz

Summary: Christopher and Jee-yun both for the day, Maddie sees a side of her brother she'd never actually witnessed before. It leaves Maddie curious, and Buck a little off balance. Based on this headcanon.

Notes: Jee-yun is meant to be about 12 months old in this. I have no idea if that's accurate to the timeline. Now that I'm thinking about it, she should probably be a few months older, since she started crawling around "Peer Pressure," but for some reason, my brain placed that closer to Christmas, so I was figuring 9 month crawling milestone plus three if their return is in March. So basically, I messed up the timeline, and Jee should probably be closer to 15 months and significantly more vocal and independently mobile, but I didn't figure that out until this was already written with a 12 month old Jee, so we're just going to pretend.

Also, I have decided dispatch has a parking lot, not a parking garage for the purposes of this fic, simply because I like the image better.

Title from Taylor Swift's "Ours"

Fluff, Buckley-Diaz Family, Pre-relationship, S5, Canon Compliant to 5x12, Buck's POV

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Ao3 Link

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When he gets to the dispatch parking lot, it's a little later than he'd intended, but only by about five minutes, and he's relieved to see an open spot beside Eddie's truck only a couple of spaces down from where he sees Maddie trying to wrangle a squirming Jee-yun out of her car seat. Eddie's standing in the sun, leaning against the tailgate of his truck with sunglasses perched on his nose, and his arms crossed casually across his chest. Christopher's standing beside Eddie, matching sunglasses and the same casual attitude, and Buck's suddenly struck by just how big Christopher has gotten—he'd known, technically, of course, but seeing them standing beside one another in the California morning sun seems to emphasize the way the top of Christopher's head nearly reaches Eddie's shoulder, and Buck is suddenly struck by a odd pang of nostalgia for the little boy he'd met all those years ago in an elementary school parking lot after a 7.1 earthquake. It passes quickly, though, replaced by a fond smile when Buck sees the corners of Eddie's mouth tick up when he spots Buck, Eddie tilting his chin in a nod of greeting as Buck swings the Jeep easily into the spot beside them.

"There they are," Buck greets as soon as he's stumbled out of the Jeep, pushing the door shut in his wake as he ambles out to Eddie and Christopher. 

Christopher just raises an eyebrow and narrows his eyes a little, and Buck can see Eddie trying to hide his smirk as Christopher deadpans "you're late" at Buck, who doesn't really have an answer for that.

So Buck just shrugs and says, "yeah."

And it breaks Christopher's pretend shell immediately, a grin instantly breaking over his features. "Hey, Buck," he offers then, tone shifting into one that betrays the teasing of his earlier words, and Buck and Eddie both huff out matching laughs at that.

Eddie turns his eyes on Buck, then, about to offer a greeting himself, when Maddie shuffles up to them, an ever-growing Jee-yun balanced on her hip in a way that seems to dwarf Maddie's slight frame, and an overstuffed diaper bag that looks like it weighs as much as Jee-yun slung precariously over her shoulder. Buck suddenly feels guilty for stopping with Eddie and Christopher instead of going straight to Maddie to help. Maddie doesn't seem concerned, though, so Buck just grins happily at Jee-yun before shifting into silly-face mode, earning a joyful shriek from Jee-yun and an eyeroll and head shake from Christopher who is nevertheless smiling at Buck's antics.

"Hey, now, she likes my silly faces," Buck defends as he scoops Jee into his arms, Maddie suddenly looking confused and Christopher faking exasperation. "Don't you, kiddo?"

"That's only because all you have is a silly face," Christopher shoots back, and Buck can't help the startle of laughter that falls out of him at Christopher's teasing. But then Christopher is softening out of his mostly playful preteen sarcasm and waving at Jee-yun who's turned her eyes to him, Christopher cooing, "hi, Jee," with a bright, happy smile in Jee-yun's direction, and Jee-yun just babbles happily in response and nuzzles her head into the crook of Buck's neck, eyes never leaving Christopher. Buck feels his heart swell at the scene. It's not the first time he's seen Jee-yun and Christopher interact, but it certainly doesn't happen often, and it's usually only for short intervals. Today, Buck gets them both for the whole day, and the thought makes him smile. 

Current headcanon: Maddie and Eddie don't really know one another all that well. They like each other plenty and get along well when they're around each other, but they just don't get many opportunities to interact with one another. When Buck's with Maddie, it's usually a sibling thing, so it's not like Eddie would join them, and even when they're at the big 118 get-togethers, they just tend to gravitate toward other people—Eddie always by Buck's side, and Maddie chatting with May or Athena or Hen and Karen because Maddie sees Buck often enough on her own, so she's going to branch out at the gatherings.

So she and Eddie mostly only chat casually in passing; they've never really had a chance to build any kind of distinctive relationship. And Maddie's only really seen Eddie and Buck together with Christopher at those big get-togethers where Chris is often more interested in hanging out with Denny and Harry, and sometimes Buck's in the mix with them, but it's always seemed like just Buck helping to entertain the kids.

So Maddie's only really ever heard about Buck's relationship with Christopher secondhand, and Chim likes to tease and exaggerate, while Buck loves kids and gets overexcited sometimes in a way that causes him to maybe embellish a bit.

So Maddie's always kind of assumed Buck's just a glorified babysitter helping out a friend when it comes to his relationship to Christopher.

Until one day, while Eddie's working dispatch and he and Maddie happen to be on the same shift, Buck agrees to take Chris and Jee both for the day, and they all decide it would be easiest for Buck to meet them at dispatch right before the shift starts, so he can get both kids at once. (And Maddie's maybe a little bit nervous about her childless little brother watching Jee and Christopher at the same time, but she figures Chris is eleven, so he'll probably be fine).

So they all meet in the dispatch parking lot, and Maddie hands over Jee, but not without first handing Buck an overly stocked diaper bag complete with a list of emergency phone numbers she's sure to draw attention to and giving him a five minute rundown of Jee's favorite toys and games and what to do when she's cranky and everything else Maddie can think of to make sure Buck knows how to keep Jee happy and comfortable, even though Buck has watched Jee on his own dozens of times.

Only to then watch Eddie tell Chris he loves him and that he'll be home for dinner before just. handing him over to Buck.

No instructions. No fretting. Not even a bag to go with him.

And Maddie's heard the stories of Eddie and his thorough emails and his concerns over summer camp and his general parental protectiveness that she can absolutely relate to.

But with Buck? With Buck, Eddie just. gives him Christopher.

And that's when Maddie suddenly realizes that everything she thought she knew about her brother's relationship with Eddie and Christopher is wrong.

Because there's only one person in the world she would ever hand Jee over to like that, and that person is her child's father.

And, well, things get a lot more interesting with that revelation.

So there's a fic now: The jury's out, but the choice is you (Ao3 | tumblr)

9-1-1

S08E06: Confessions | dir. Chad Lowe

#the 3 very grown adults of the 118

Okay, do we hate this? Not the colors, the stitch. Or maybe the way the colors work with the stitch? As you can see from the remaining skein, there are a few colors I haven't gotten to at all yet.

Progress made! I actually love it now. Can't wait to add the next skein, so I can see the repeat with all the colors.

Thank you all for helping me not hate it!

and no matter what i've done it wouldn't matter anyway ain't no way i'm gonna screw up now that i know what's at stake (insp)

RYAN GUZMAN as EDMUNDO 'EDDIE' DIAZ

9-1-1 | S08E06: Confessions