Where has this been all my life!?

*SCREAMS IN ABJECT FURY*

SAID IS NOT DEAD. SAID IS NOT DEAD. SAID IS NOT FUCKING DEAD.

THESE WORDS ARE ALL VERY LOVELY AND USEFUL BUT ONLY IN SMALL DOSES!!!!

LIKE HOW MANY TIMES IN A STORY CAN YOU SAY THEY “STATED” OR “REMARKED” SOMETHING BEFORE THE STORY BECOMES BORING AND INCOMPREHENSIBLE?!?!?! GOOD GODS Y’ALL!

SAID IS A LOVELY ADORABLE LITTLE WORD THAT DOESN’T TAKE UP MUCH SPACE. IT CAN BE USED OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND IT WON’T TURN YOUR STORY INTO AN AWFUL PEICE OF PURPLE PROSE (BUT FUCK IF PURPLE PROSE IS WHAT YOU’RE AIMING FOR HAVE AT IT MY FRIEND) THAT MAKES LITERALLY ZERO SENSE TO THE READERS.

EXAMPLE: ‘“Oh Lizzy,” Clare said tiredly. “We don’t always get what we want.”’

I BET YOU BARELY NOTICED THE WORD SAID. YOU PROBABLY FOCUSED ON THE WORD TIREDLY BECAUSE THAT WAS HOW SHE SAID IT.

AS OPPOSED TO: ‘“Oh Lizzy,” Clare stated tiredly. “We don’t always get what we want.”’

DO YOU SEE HOW STILTED THAT IS???? IT’S AWKWARD AND DOESN’T FLOW RIGHT. NOW IMAGINE IF THE CONVERSATION WENT LIKE THIS:

‘“Oh Lizzy,” Clare stated tiredly. “We don’t always get what we want.”

"It’s just… It’s just so hard to let go.” Lizzy sobbed.’

DO YOU GET WHAT I’M SAYING? PUTTING THE WORD ‘SAID’ IN CLARE’S LINE ALLOWS YOU TO PUT MORE EMPHASIS ON LIZZY’S DISAPPOINTMENT AND EMOTIONAL TURMOIL. IMAGINE IF THE ENTIRE STORY INVOLVING LIZZY AND CLARE USED EVERY WORD BUT SAID. IT’D GET HARD TO READ, WOULDN’T IT???

IN CONCLUSION, TL;DR, ECT. ECT.: THE WORD SAID IS A GOOD WORD THAT LETS THE WRITING FLOW AND ALLOWS YOU TO PUT MORE EMPHASIS ON ANOTHER CHARACTER’S LINES WITHOUT CLUTTERING UP THE STORY. SAID IS NOT DEAD. PLEASE USE THE WORD SAID, DARLINGS. SAID LIKES TO BE USED, AND IT ISN’T PICKY ON HOW YOU USE IT.

YES THESE WORDS IN THE PICTURE ABOVE NEED TO BE PUT TO USE, BUT ONLY SPARINGLY. OTHERWISE YOU END UP WITH A STUTTERED MESS OF A MANUSCRIPT AND IF YOU WANT TO WRITE SUCCESSFUL STORIES YOU’RE GOING TO NEED TO UTILIZE A WORD THAT’S SHORT AND SWEET AND TO THE POINT. AKA THE WORD SAID.

THIS HAS BEEN A PSA

This person isn’t joking. My friend wrote a book and I asked about the publishing process and she said that the editors made her change a lot of the tags to just “said” because all the “requested” and “offered” and “smirked”s were distracting. My friend said her editor told her that most people don’t even read/notice the word said and they get stuck and stumble over words like “proposed” and “stated” and other such tags. So in conclusion, a real author told me all of this which means said is not dead and never will be. 

Please stop removing "said" from your writing. I was taught to do it too. We were all taught to do it. It goes against how people read. "Said" is a word that's practically invisible when you're caught up in a story. And it should be. It's a dialogue tag.

The other words are fine, when used sparingly. But the more the brain has to trip over them, the more the dialogue is lost. Use said. And if you don't want to use said, use body language, or action, or something else. 

Here are some of the most common openings I see, as they’re almost always a rejection:

The problem with this list is you're going to get to that point where absolutely no opening is "safe" because they've all been done before. And they really have all been done before. Any opening you can possibly think of, I guarantee someone has written it.

I get the intent of this post, but if a young writer were to see this, look at their story, and immediately rewrite it to something avant-garde (apparently...) that may or may not fit, that to me seems worse than rehashing a cliche.

Why not instead explain why these are perhaps not the strongest openers structurally? Most of them suggest they have the story starting with a lot of unnecessary introduction and likely front-loading of information and backstory that will put the reader to sleep. 

If I start a scene where I wake up, go downstairs, pet the cat, say hi to mom and dad, smack my brother, eat my cereal, and it's still 20 pages before anything actually happens, then yeah. Maybe not the best opener if you want it read and published.

But I start a scene where I wake up, go downstairs, pet the cat, then look up and realize there's a unicorn in my kitchen and rainbows shooting out of the oven, well shit. I'd read that story. 

THE WORST PART ABOUT CONSTRUCTING YOUR OWN FICTIONAL UNIVERSE IS

FUCKING NAME

FOR EVERYTHING

AND EVERYONE

AHEM.

http://www.squid.org/rpg-random-generator

http://nine.frenchboys.net/

http://www.seventhsanctum.com/

...

We recently got tired of calling things "Elf Town" and other such brilliant descriptors in pre-production, and I was tasked with coming up with names. I'm not good at names, or titles, or anything remotely official like that.

I found a few really nice "place name generators," but this one was my favorite for realistic sounding names: 

http://www.mithrilandmages.com/utilities/CityNames.php

It’s funny that you think she is a troll, because she is exactly right.  It’s even funnier that you’re actually mad that the whole point of her post is that you have to put forth the work and effort to earn the title, and that writing is just as hard or challenging as drawing.  Or did you just completely miss that?

You cannot be called a writer if you do not write your story down and cultivate it into a story. A story that only exists inside your head is still a story, but it’s not a written one, and therefore you are not a writer because you have nothing written.

There’s nothing insulting or offensive about that.  It’s a fact.

I’ll tumblr for ya: Let us take a moment to remember that having an idea for a story, or…

It’s also a fact that you need to shut the hell up. You think I’m “mad?” Funny. If I were mad that she was right, then I would’ve said much more than that. 

She says that anyone who doesn’t have written work hasn’t tried. Fact is, it’s not easy to write. Even with a herculean amount of effort, sometimes you just can’t do it. It’s hell. There are people who have amazing ideas to write that simply can’t write - either by disability, or some other issue. That doesn’t make them any less of a writer. 

Believe what you want. I don’t care. It’s my sincere belief that you and the original poster are dead wrong. You don’t need written work to be a writer. You don’t need to be writer to be a storyteller. Hell, you can have a mish-mash of notes scribbled here and there on scraps of paper - or kept in your mind for safekeeping - for a story and still be considered a writer. But remember that some people can’t hardly write, type or draw due to issues, disability or difficulty. That doesn’t put them on a lower level than someone with written, polished work. 

In the end, it’s a matter of perception and personal interpretation. It’s a fact that I’m done giving a shit what you think anymore. You want to think I haven’t put years of my life into writing? Go ahead. You want to think those who don’t have stories written aren’t writers? Go ahead. You want to think that I don’t have anything of my own written down? Go ahead. I don’t care anymore. 

I think that you don’t need anything written to be a writer. I don’t care that you disagree. Not anymore. And that’s the end of it. Good day.

Statement: Writers are people who write

Rebuttal: Fuck off you ableist troll

The funny thing is, I didn’t even say you had to finish things. Or be very good at it. Just try. Because, like you said, it’s hard work! And hard work doesn’t get done by throwing tantrums on Tumblr.

Yes, being disabled and unable to type totally keeps you from writing. For example, it’s not like a stroke victim is capable of dictating an entire book, letter by letter, via blinking their left eyelid because that’s the only part of their body they’re able to move.

Oh wait.

There’s a difference between writing, storytelling, and daydreaming. One thing you have to keep in mind is that the editing and revising steps of the writing process is part of writing. You write out your draft, and then go back and fix what’s wrong with it. You don’t have to do that with daydreams. Hell, you don’t have to do that when storytelling. 

I’ve said before that I hate how our society has monetized everything to the point where people who have written, revised, and submitted stories for publication still call themselves “aspiring writers” simply because nobody’s paid them for their work. They’re still writers. They wrote that stuff down and did the work and they are writers. You don’t have to be a professional writer to be a writer.

But you still have to WRITE.

I... can't even believe this was up for debate.

A writer writes. You can get paid to do it, you can do it for free, you can start doing it and agonize over it, you can do it and shove it in a drawer for five years, you can do it and post it on the internet, you can do it and never let another soul see it. If you write down your ideas, then you're a writer. 

A storyteller tells stories. They don't have to write them if they can communicate them some other way. I would have a terrible time telling someone a story face to face. Just because that story is in my head doesn't make me an orator. 

But this was pretty funny. 

I haven't been feeling well enough to write in full form the last few days. Tomorrow at work I'll be sure to tell my boss the ideas are in my head, they're swimming around and noodling in there so I'm still doing the job they're paying for; I'm still a writer!

I'll let you know how that works out. :D

Instead of whispered, consider:

aye lil mama let me insinuate in ya ear

In all seriousness if I see “susurrated” in your prose or a lot of the rest of these I’m going to think it’s some of the most overwrought bullshit I’ve ever read.

Less thesaurus abuse, not more.

Also “gasped” means something completely different from “whispered”.  Context people.  This is why thesaurus abuse is a problem.

I could keep going.

^ The commentary.

I mean, look—these words may all be synonyms (or, you know, not), but they invoke different images and wouldn’t all work for the same dialogue. 

When you whisper something, it’s generally because you don’t want someone to overhear what you’re saying OR because you want your conversation to be more intimate OR because you’re just trying to be quiet. That isn’t the same thing as saying something with an undertone (which is when you’re basically implying something without implying it) or purring something (which is when you’re either a cat or you’re trying to be ‘seductive’) or hissing something (which is when you’re probably insulting someone or are pissed off at them) or saying something under your breath (which is when you might not necessarily want the person to hear what you’ve said)—I could go on and on with these.

There is nothing wrong with the words ‘said’ or ‘whispered’. Using those words in your writing are not going to make your stories horrible or boring—they are only two things that bring together what is actually going on and while, yes, overusing them might be something that you’ll need to definitely look out for, the fact of the matter is that if someone bases the entire worth and quality of what you’ve written based on the fact that you’re not a member of the cult of thesaurus worship, the problem is not with you or your writing—it’s with them.

Wanting to improve your writing and expand your vocabulary are both great things, but there’s a difference between doing that and going so far into trying to make everything perfect that you ignore the fact that the improvements you’re making aren’t really improvements at all.

Your characters don’t have to utter and sigh when they really want to say and whisper, and you don’t have to use synonyms when the word you really want to use is perfect a-okay. 

I agree with all of the commentary, but still, this is a pretty nice list. Oftentimes I want to say something, but I forget which word I want to use, and none of the words I can think of seem right, or write- geddit? am I kicked out of the writers group yep okay So this list is definitely useful when you can’t think of the right word to use. Valid points brought up by all.

also susurrus is an amazing word don’t go bashing on it okay I’m done now

I’m a fan of using the right word for the right situation— not just substituting a different word because one is too common or not fancy enough.

Gettin real tired of your shit, thesaurus lists. 

Anna Quindlen (via writingquotes)

This is why I love writing and why it's an integral part of who I am. :) 

Joss Whedon is most famous for creating Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its spin-off Angel and the short-lived but much-loved Firefly series. But the writer and director has also worked unseen as a script doctor on movies ranging from Speed to Toy Story. Here, he shares his tips on the art of screenwriting.

1. FINISH IT

Actually finishing it is what I’m gonna put in as step one. You may laugh at this, but it’s true. I have so many friends who have written two-thirds of a screenplay, and then re-written it for about three years. Finishing a screenplay is first of all truly difficult, and secondly really liberating. Even if it’s not perfect, even if you know you’re gonna have to go back into it, type to the end. You have to have a little closure.

2. STRUCTURE

Structure means knowing where you’re going ; making sure you don’t meander about. Some great films have been made by meandering people, like Terrence Malick and Robert Altman, but it’s not as well done today and I don’t recommend it. I’m a structure nut. I actually make charts. Where are the jokes ? The thrills ? The romance ? Who knows what, and when ? You need these things to happen at the right times, and that’s what you build your structure around : the way you want your audience to feel. Charts, graphs, coloured pens, anything that means you don’t go in blind is useful.

3. HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY

This really should be number one. Even if you’re writing a Die Hard rip-off, have something to say about Die Hard rip-offs. The number of movies that are not about what they purport to be about is staggering. It’s rare, especially in genres, to find a movie with an idea and not just, ‘This’ll lead to many fine set-pieces’. The Island evolves into a car-chase movie, and the moments of joy are when they have clone moments and you say, ‘What does it feel like to be those guys ?’

4. EVERYBODY HAS A REASON TO LIVE

Everybody has a perspective. Everybody in your scene, including the thug flanking your bad guy, has a reason. They have their own voice, their own identity, their own history. If anyone speaks in such a way that they’re just setting up the next person’s lines, then you don’t get dialogue : you get soundbites. Not everybody has to be funny ; not everybody has to be cute ; not everybody has to be delightful, and not everybody has to speak, but if you don’t know who everybody is and why they’re there, why they’re feeling what they’re feeling and why they’re doing what they’re doing, then you’re in trouble.

5. CUT WHAT YOU LOVE

Here’s one trick that I learned early on. If something isn’t working, if you have a story that you’ve built and it’s blocked and you can’t figure it out, take your favourite scene, or your very best idea or set-piece, and cut it. It’s brutal, but sometimes inevitable. That thing may find its way back in, but cutting it is usually an enormously freeing exercise.

6. LISTEN

When I’ve been hired as a script doctor, it’s usually because someone else can’t get it through to the next level. It’s true that writers are replaced when executives don’t know what else to do, and that’s terrible, but the fact of the matter is that for most of the screenplays I’ve worked on, I’ve been needed, whether or not I’ve been allowed to do anything good. Often someone’s just got locked, they’ve ossified, they’re so stuck in their heads that they can’t see the people around them. It’s very important to know when to stick to your guns, but it’s also very important to listen to absolutely everybody. The stupidest person in the room might have the best idea.

7. TRACK THE AUDIENCE MOOD

You have one goal : to connect with your audience. Therefore, you must track what your audience is feeling at all times. One of the biggest problems I face when watching other people’s movies is I’ll say, ‘This part confuses me’, or whatever, and they’ll say, ‘What I’m intending to say is this’, and they’ll go on about their intentions. None of this has anything to do with my experience as an audience member. Think in terms of what audiences think. They go to the theatre, and they either notice that their butts are numb, or they don’t. If you’re doing your job right, they don’t. People think of studio test screenings as terrible, and that’s because a lot of studios are pretty stupid about it. They panic and re-shoot, or they go, ‘Gee, Brazil can’t have an unhappy ending,’ and that’s the horror story. But it can make a lot of sense.

8. WRITE LIKE A MOVIE

Write the movie as much as you can. If something is lush and extensive, you can describe it glowingly ; if something isn’t that important, just get past it tersely. Let the read feel like the movie ; it does a lot of the work for you, for the director, and for the executives who go, ‘What will this be like when we put it on its feet ?’

9. DON’T LISTEN

Having given the advice about listening, I have to give the opposite advice, because ultimately the best work comes when somebody’s fucked the system ; done the unexpected and let their own personal voice into the machine that is moviemaking. Choose your battles. You wouldn’t get Paul Thomas Anderson, or Wes Anderson, or any of these guys if all moviemaking was completely cookie-cutter. But the process drives you in that direction ; it’s a homogenising process, and you have to fight that a bit. There was a point while we were making Firefly when I asked the network not to pick it up : they’d started talking about a different show.

10. DON’T SELL OUT

The first penny I ever earned, I saved. Then I made sure that I never had to take a job just because I needed to. I still needed jobs of course, but I was able to take ones that I loved. When I say that includes Waterworld, people scratch their heads, but it’s a wonderful idea for a movie. Anything can be good. Even Last Action Hero could’ve been good. There’s an idea somewhere in almost any movie : if you can find something that you love, then you can do it. If you can’t, it doesn’t matter how skilful you are : that’s called whoring.

Joss Whedon’s Top 10 Writing Rules

Much of this applies to non-commercial writing as well.

“A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.” - Thomas Mann