ferretfyre reblogged
ferretfyre reblogged
LINDIR, GRUDGINGLY AT YOUR SERVICE.
SET SOME BOUNDARIES IN YOUR WORKPLACE, MAN. IF YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION IS JUST “DOING ANYTHING ELROND DOESN’T WANT TO DO” YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR THE WORST IN LIFE.
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The recent news about the extended edition reminded me that there’s meant to be more disrespectful dwarves at Rivendell stuff in there and I really hope it’s like an anarchist version of their raid on Bag End’s pantry, with Lindir being run ragged by Mahal’s Lil’ Assholes and their vibrant array of behavioural problems.
"Master Dwarf, please, the celebrated tapestries of Imladris are not for wiping your boots on."
"Traditionally one writes on paper, not on walls, and with writing implements, not every weapon you own."
“WE AGREE TO YOUR TERMS AND MENU SUGGESTIONS, PLEASE LET THE FLAUTIST GO.”
"Earlier, when I clearly said, DO NOT LAUNDER YOUR SOILED UNDER-CLOTHES IN OUR FORBIDDEN SACRED SPRINGS, you nodded. You nodded as if you understood what I was saying. I do not think you did.”
While Bilbo sits in the corner, sympathizing, “Just wait ‘til you see what they’ve done to your bathrooms.”
#QUITE A MERRY GATHERING #QUITE A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT #CLEAN UP AISLE EVERYWHERE #ADVENTURES IN DWARF-SITTING #LINDIR HATES IT BUT HE TAKES DWARF-SITTING SUPER SERIOUSLY #LINDIR FOLLOWING THEIR PATH OF DESTRUCTION ALL THE WAY TO EREBOR #CLEANING UP AFTER THEM #LINDIR ON THE MOUNTAIN PASS APOLOGIZING TO THE STORM GIANTS #’I BEG YOUR PARDON FOR TRAIPSING ACROSS YOUR KNEES WITHOUT A FORMAL INTRODUCTION MASTER GIANT’ #LINDIR STROLLING THROUGH GOBLINTOWN #LINDIR DELIVERING A EULOGY AT THE GOBLIN KING’S FUNERAL #’I DIDN’T KNOW YOUR KING PERSONALLY’ #’AND FOR THAT I GRIEVE’ #’FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO KNOW HIM THAT WILL NEVER COME’ #’HIS DEATH HAVING TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU EVERYTHING HE WAS AND FROM THE WORLD EVERYTHING HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN’ #GOBLINS DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS BUT ARE TOO BUSY GROSS-SOBBING TO CARE #LINDIR ON THE CLIFF-EDGE REPLANTING TREES #’HAND ME THAT SAPLING PLEASE MASTER AZOG’ #LINDIR PLAYING FETCH WITH THE WHITE WARG #GOOD WARG BEST FRIEND #LINDIR ON THE CARROCK SHARING LONG-SUFFERING LOOKS WITH THE EAGLES #LINDIR THE GIANT-QUELLER HONORARY GOBLIN-KIN WARG-MASTER AND EAGLE-FRIEND (x)