@femmedplume / femmedplume.tumblr.com
yr locked in a room alone with three adult men but you feel perfectly safe. who are they
I mean, I feel safe from them but I’m suddenly EXTREMELY worried about what shenanigans I’ve stumbled into
“These men mean me no harm”
“So you feel safe now?”
“Oh, absolutely not”
Thor is like a mix between a dwarf and an elf… tall and handsome..muscular and rude during meals XD
I did a crossover because I could not decide what to draw! they are my favourite fandom so it will become another poster!
*HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOLKIEN!*
where are mirkwoods crops🤔🤔 like they have lembas and wine so they must have wheat and grapes but like... where... do they just buy em from other places that grow crops🤔🤔🤔🤔 I NEED ANSWERS
Ok ok so in the hobbit. Fili is put in an empty barrel that smells like apples because it stored apples before. This barrel was headed out of mirkwood to laketown but since it was used for apple storage and was presumably used for river transport, it could be assumed that the apples were imported?? Which is weird bc!! It's a forest what the fuck.
Also the lembas they get is from galadriel so idk if we even have confirmation they've got wheat (or other bread-making grains)- I'll have to reread the scene in the hobbit where the Dwarves walk in on their feast and check what's present there.
That leaves dorwinion wine, which??? Do we even fuckin know where dorwinion is????? Do we know Anything? Hm??? Fuck mirkwood is a mystery
Ok ok so. Allow me to nerd out here for a second...ever heard of Forest Gardens?? :D
So I don’t know an incredible amount about them, but basically, forest gardens are the process of deliberately organizing the normal, “layered” process by which forests grow and maximizing it for food. In actual forests, there are no segregated, boxed-in sections like in traditional single-crop farming or gardens; instead, all the different plants grow together, in the same space, with each plant reaching the height that is necessary for its growth and happiness. The critical mass of plant roots holds water and soil in place, and as plants die back, they rot back into the soil, creating rich loam for the next generation. In a normal forest there are plenty of edible plants, (and obviously plenty of animals,) you just have to be willing to hunter-gather them.
BUT! There is a better and more efficient way to maximize food production whilst still maintaining the balance of the natural ecosystem: Forest Gardening!
Forest Gardening was widely used by various North Native American tribes, particularly in what is now the eastern US; and in the Amazon, the native population has been husbanding the forest for over 5000 years. Recently, it’s been implemented by various British farmers, and now there are several flourishing Forest Gardens across the UK. The most popular philosophy is the Seven (7) Layer Planting: 1. Tree Canopy, 2. Low Trees, 3. Shrubs, 4. Herbs, 5. Ground Cover Crops, 6. Root Vegetables, and 7. Climbers and Vines
Basically, you take at least one, if not several edible versions of each of these layering plants and sort of mush them all together and let them grow and interact and do their planty thing, and then gather the crops as they come ripe.
Here’s a brief description of the types of food grown in the Graham Bell Forest Garden in Scotland, the oldest in the UK:
The garden is multi layered and multi functional with alders, apples, cedar, birch, walnut, butternut, hazel, oak, rowan, chestnut and whitebeam in the top canopy layer. Beneath that is the understorey of amelanchiers, apples, cherry, gages, hazel, juniper, laburnum, medlar, plum, pear, quince, Russian olive, elder and willow. The shrub layer includes alder buckthorn, buddleia, currants, forsythia, goji berry, gooseberry, holly, jostaberry, mahonia, raspberries and roses. Beneath these are a groundcover including alpine strawberries, mints, onions, annual root crops, flowering bulbs, borage, comfrey, and mallow. All these layers are then tied together with climbers including blackberry, edible honeysuckles, grapes, hops, wineberry, morning glory, passion fruit, roses and tayberry.
So to break that down a bit, this relatively small garden has 8+ Wood Trees, 18+ Fruit-bearing trees and shrubs, 3+ Nut Trees, multiple leaf-vegetables and root-vegetables, plants to make and flavor alcohol, and several medicinal herbs. It produces ~1.5 tons of food a year, of pretty awesome variety ...and it’s only 1/5th of an acre big!
Now imagine what a Forest Garden the size of Mirkwood could produce. O.O
I mean, as massive as the Wood is, and considering that the Silvan elves lived there long before there was anyone to trade with, it makes sense that they learned to husband their land, right?
But Lasgalen, you ask, what about The Hobbit? Bilbo said the Mirkwood elves import a ton of food! And if there’s all this Forest Gardening going on, how come the dwarves weren’t able to find anything to eat whilst wandering about? Well--
As for the Mirkwood elves themselves, I’d imagine they’d choose their plantings very carefully, and specifically garden with the goal of making it look as wild and untamed as possible, specifically because they didn’t want any thieving Men or Dwarves stealing their shit.
Plus, they’re immortal Flower Children; as far as they’re concerned, Nature’s Way is Best™ lol. Like, talk about organic; they probably wouldn’t even weed. Maybe they’d sing to the invasive plants to get them to grow around the more delicate ones, but if one plant strangled another, welp. Natural order, babey! And I’d imagine they’d be perfectly happy to travel long distances just to find the right place to plant a particular thing, so that it wouldn’t interfere with the established ecosystem. They’d go above and beyond to honor and maintain the spirit of the Wood; and in return, the Wood would provide.
TL;DR: The entirety of Mirkwood is one big, carefully husbanded Forest Garden that produces tons of fresh produce, fish and game for the Mirkwood elves; but they probably made it look so organic and wild that nobody else could tell they were doing it.
Wow, this is actually some really interesting concept! It’s now my headcanon, I’m stealing this. Thanks :))
@femmedplume He’s the king of men!
All Hail King Bunnygorn!
one of my favorite lotr facts is that gondorians speak sindarin as a first language and yet when faramir was talking to frodo and sam about cirith ungol he was like “we don’t know what’s in there.” like faramir. cirith ungol is sindarin for “pass of the spider.” do the math
some of my favorite tags on this post
Don’t forget that Frodo also speaks Sindarin, which makes this even worse.
Faramir: Hey, don’t go up the Spider Stairs.
Frodo: Why? What’s up the Spider Stairs?
Faramir: We don’t know, Frodo. We just don’t know.
Look. Look, okay. In their defense, people have a tendency to name things after things for like, Dramatic Effect and/or Aesthetics. So like, if someone told me we were going to the Spider Stairs, my first reaction would be Oh, is it like, eight stairs merging into one?
You know, like how Big Bear Lake is shaped like a big bear. It's not...a lake filled with bears?
I just...Frodo and Faramir were both going through some shit right then... Let's give some benefit of the doubt to the tired smol beans eh?
Chapter: 8/? Warnings: Graphic Violence, Murder, Torture, PTSD, Scarring, Temporary Insanity Pairings: Thranduil/Original Female Half-Elf; Gay elves, Straight elves, elves for everybody! (Also eventual Legolas x Gimli) Timeline: Post-Battle of the Five Armies (T.A. 2941) through the War of the Ring (T.A. 3018-3019), from the perspective of Thranduil and the Mirkwood elves, the Men of Dale, and the Dwarves of Eerebor.
SUMMARY: Illyrea finds the legendary magic herb Ithirianna…or does she? Meanwhile, both she and Thranduil must adjust to being alone during Înuial, the months between winter and spring. When post-traumatic memories of the Battle of Gundabad begin to torment Thranduil, will he find in Illyrea the solace he can no longer find anywhere else?
not all men? you’re right. aragorn son of arathorn son of arador son of argonui son of arathorn son of arassuil son of arahad son of aravorn son of aragost son of arahad son of araglas son of aragorn son of aravir son of aranuir son of arahael son of aranarth son of arvedui son of araphant son of araval son of arveleg son of arvegil son of argeleb son of araphor son of arveleg son of argeleb son of malvegil son of celebrindor son of mallor son of beleg son of amlaith son of earendur son of elendur son of valandur son of tarondur son of tarcil son of arantar son of eldacar son of valandil son of isildur would never do this.
Steve: The flip phone is lit. Tony calls for aid.
T’Challa: And wakanda will answer
More stuff like this (text posts): https://mintmintdoodles.tumblr.com/post/168027679027
I was tagged by the supercool @fatherjerusalem, which is exciting because I am also a movie nerd who is willing to blather on endlessly about film.
So buckle up kiddos, cuz we’re going on a little ride.
Okay, first thing you should know: I have the biggest guilty pleasure lady boner for rom-coms and coming-of-age stories. Second thing? I’m a musical theater nerd, born and raised. So basically, I was there for this movie from the first trailer.
(Sidenote: also where I fell in love with Fat Amy, specifically for the best brush off line in the world, seen above ^)
And it did not disappoint. I saw it for the first time in theaters, and then proceeded to go home and illegally watch it again and again on various sites. By the sixth time I had revisited it, it was out on DVD/iTunes.
Now, I do not have a large movie library, because I don’t often find movies I know I’m going to want to watch more than once. I bought this one. From iTunes, because of the exclusive extras.
I mean, come on: ladies supporting ladies? Super cute puppy-eyed boys with gorgeous voices? Really fun mash-up a capella songs?? Elizabeth Banks and John Michael Higgins just riffing off each other for minutes at a time?? ANNA KENDRICK’S SUPER DRY DELIVERY IN SCENE AFTER BEAUTIFUL SCENE???
*deep breath* Whew! Sorry about that. Yeah, I love this movie.
I am aware that this is a mini-series. Shut up. It’s my list.
Look, I know the kids all love that morbid Keira Knightley travesty -- but goddamn it, if you want dark, gloomy melodrama romance, watch Jane Eyre or Wuthering Heights. The entire point of Pride & Prejudice was to be FUN! ROMANTIC! FUNNY! This is THE Romantic Comedy of Romantic Comedies. This is the rom-com that all little rom-coms want to be when they grow up.
Everything in this version was spot-on: from the costuming, to the music and dancing, to the awkward, prideful beans falling in love with other awkward, prejudiced beans. Jennifer Ehle IS Elizabeth Bennet: cute, witty, with an irrepressible sense of humor and zest for life. Plus, her refusal of Darcy is a) very, very close to the text of the book, and b) so freaking badass.
And Colin Firth. Come ON now, people! Best. Darcy. EVER. And every supporting character acts the hell out of their part. Alison Steadman, who plays Mrs. Bingley, was pitch-fucking-perfect -- she got both the tragedy and the hysterically annoying tenor of that character, which actually made her much more relatable than other versions I’ve seen.
I know I’m not gonna convince everyone, (I’m side-eyeing you, @sammit-janet,) but for anyone who wants to experience Jane Austen without actually reading the books, this is the one you want to watch. If Jane was a director today, this is the film she’d have made.
I am not kidding when I say I’ve seen the entire trilogy more than a dozen times. The director’s cuts (which I own.) I have re-watched it with every single one of the commentary tracks. I have seen all the behind-the-scenes videos multiple times. I even went to the LA premiere of The Two Towers.
This is the best fantasy film ever made. Hands down. The source material might have some problematic aspects vis a vis diversity, but the sheer attention to detail and level of commitment of each and every person involved -- from the costumers to the post-production team, (who literally wrote a new code for CGI fire for the Balrog scene; code that is now used by the entire industry) -- is mind-boggling. It took over a decade to make, and it’s entirely worth it.
I will happily sit and watch this entire 9-hour masterpiece on any day of the week with anyone who wants to -- but don’t expect to Netflix and chill that shit. Oh, no. If we watchin’ Lord of the Rings, we WATCHIN’ Lord of the Rings.
We don’t talk about The Hobbit.
I went looking for gifs for this, and found so many good ones I couldn’t decide. But this scene, where Sandra Bullock’s character blows a candle ON, is one of the defining magical moments of my childhood.
Again, I love rom-coms. I also love magic. LOVE magic. And I love stories that make you want to live in the world. I DARE you to watch this movie and not want to move to the east coast and live in some quaint little seaside town as part of a coven of witches who sell beauty products as a day job.
It also does something incredible in terms of filmmaking: it manages to be dark and terrifying (and I mean abuse, possession, murder, the whole nine,) while also being quaint and comforting. It’s a movie to watch when you feel like you’ve lost faith in the world -- or when you’re getting over an evil ex-boyfriend. Because (spoiler) they totally murder the evil ex-boyfriend. >:)
I’ll be honest: I love old movies. I love the slightly unrealistic patter, the luscious costuming, the multi-faceted talents. Back then, everyone was a triple threat. And anything that was made right at the beginning of Technicolor is worth watching just for the eye-candy.
But this? This is Grace Kelly’s final film before she went off to become a real, live princess, and she is in perfect form. It’s a film where Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra SING A DUET! It’s a film with LOUIS ARMSTRONG as a character! The music was written by COLE PORTER! There’s a love QUADRANGLE, for Pete’s sake!!
It’s funny, and whimsical, and every single person is on freaking point. Plus, it stars my favorite over-looked actress of the age, Celeste Holm. Watch this movie. WATCH IT. O.O
Love action films. Love them. But I can admit that most of them are regurgitated pap -- unoriginal and uninspiring. I remember going to see this in the theaters simply because I liked Matt Damon.
But wow. Just WOW. For anyone who knows the action genre, especially in American cinema, this was such a breath of fresh air. It was dark, almost slow-moving, and incredibly visceral. It had a shit-ton of special effects, but never LOOKED like it had a shit-ton of special effects. There were no wasted moments; Doug Liman even made use of silence, something only great directors ever manage to do. I had my heart in my throat for about half the film, and I have never have I fallen instantly in love with an action hero until Jason Bourne took out those two Swiss policemen. I just... *heart eyes*
Also: I love that Franka Potente was not your usual Action Movie Girl. There is no amount of squinting that will make her conventionally pretty; she never showered seductively for the benefit of the Male Gaze; she was clever and vulnerable and angry and didn’t give the Action Hero a freaking inch. She was a REAL PERSON, and I only wish the Hollywood machine would have taken more notice of how well that worked.
If you’ve gotten this far, congratulations! You are probably also a movie nerd, and I salute you. :D
I tag @sammit-janet, @jael-paris, @spnjensenlove02. @hidingfrommychildren, @oriona75 (girl, IDK why Tumblr thinks you don’t exist??), and @conjurewithrisk
Some Lord of the Rings/Hobbit pieces for tyranny-su. Most of these are studies.
Bonus Boromir I never finished:
Can I just say that Unfinished Boromir makes me has a sad?
One final comment on editing: Let us never forget that in an early draft of Lord of the Rings, Strider was a Hobbit who wore clogs and was named Trotter. Your drafts will go through drastic changes from their original conception, and that’s okay. Have a look at some of these original pages of manuscripts. We often think of classics as untouchable, original, and pure, but look at how all of these changed! Let them be an inspiration to shake it up and better your own pieces.
A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens Take a look at the entire original manuscript!
Stings - Silvia Plath
A Family Sketch - Mark Twain
Protector of the Small - Tamora Pierce
The Iron Ring - Lloyd Alexander
"Let us never forget that in an early draft of Lord of the Rings, Strider was a Hobbit who wore clogs and was named Trotter"
Deep in the throes of editing, this is the most comforting thing I’ve ever seen.
This is so awesome I'm actually going to go write something.
HA!
