Burnout is a jockey and he's riding me to death.

35 let svobody ✌️🇨🇿

snoof

when im playing a game alone and theres danger i am quiet and stoic, by necessity. when im playing with friends and theres danger i start screaming and sqwuaking like a chimp to communicate over long distance that there is danger and i am distressed. This is because humans are social animals who evolved to live in groups and signal to eachother when herobrine is there

my loving you, they're only heartaches

hey man i'm going on vacation for 86 yoctoseconds can you watch my pet hydrogen-5 isotope while i'm gone

One of my more outwardly baffling autistic traits is that often I will fully know that you're being sarcastic or joking & I'll just keep talking. I'll respond to it in earnest thinking I'm continuing the bit but I do it too flatly and everybody knows I'm autistic so they'll stop and be like hey that was a joke & I'm like I know

inside of you there are two intestines.

one of them is large, and the other is small.

i see a lot of criticism towards 17776 along the lines of “ugh if humanity actually stopped aging or dying and people really did just live forever they would not spend their time playing football… that is not what EYE would do with MY time…. this is so unrealistic….. clearly the author just wanted to write about sports 🙄😒” and like. yeah. yes. exactly. jon bois is a sports writer and sports analyst who wanted to examine why people love sports and why sports have cultural staying power and why he especially finds sports compelling and what sports have to say about the human condition and our ability to care. so he made up a fake scenario about humans being immortal and then he made it about sports. and he wrote about sports. the story is titled ‘what sports will look like in the future.’ if that isn’t something that you can vibe with then maybe the story simply is not for you

he should have written about a young witch trying to solve the disappearance of her neighbour's cat in a small village in the alps

"someone who allows you to rest" is the relationship dynamic of all time

A parent that welcomes you back home after things have fallen apart. A best friend whose voice alone who can make you relax. A spouse who convinces you to stay in bed an extra hour and leave the dishes for later. A stranger who sees you tired and gives up their seat on the train. Augh. The humanity of it

i think one thing that will really invariably get me to click out of a fic immediately, if i even get as far as opening it in the first place, is He Would Not Fucking Say That’s hornier cousin “he would not fucking fuck that hard or that prolifically”. like when regardless of canon personality a character enters the bedroom and immediately becomes this almost christian grey parody ultra suave dom with dubious bdsm practices and it’s like. i’m very sorry but i truly hand on heart do not think he knows how to use his dick like that

lucky star

much like the Phoenix, a new dad shall rise from the sawdust reborn