F E M I N E R D S

Some of the journal pages, that I’ve been writing prior to seeing MCR.

14 Feb 2023

Page 1 -

MCR is for NB, Trans & Masc Icons. Obviously

The Official MCR Binder - Tweet

THX 4 D VNM - THANKS    FOR    THE   VENOM

Let me be Frank.

Page 2 -

PANSY

We are allowed to have a little regress - as a treat.

Page 3 -

These used to be signs and symbols for self-destruction, now they seem to have become a beacon of self-construction.

Destruction makes space for Construction?

Maybe at some point, we got lucky enough to realise it’s the dose that makes the venom poison.

THX

(I think I’m going to turn this into a little zine - i’ll update it if I do)

03 Nov 2022

Heteroglossia - (a word i learned from this tiktok from T X Watson)

Does close reading always reveal the self?

Pearl Pearl Pearl Pearl

The Pearl, The Grit, The Oyster, The Ocean, The Salt.

Seasonal ---------------- is it always a cycle?

What the critic (and of course the artist) always -run the risk of- enduring the vulnerability of- is revealing too much of themself?

Why do I love V for Vendetta and why is it also the worst possible film about actual political organising.

Decora Fashion.

Does Seb remember my neopets username?

What would it take to desire the future? itsradishtime youtube video with Sarah Jacquette Ray.

I’ve also been posting all the music I’ve been listening to, I dunno maybe you’ll like it?

Love how the pearl looks like a weird little gremlin face.

Drawing jigglypuff from memory versus with reference. April 2022.

Directly related to me discovering I’m aphantasic.

I keep seeing this phrase, and frankly I agree.

I guess I’m posting journal pages, somewhat regularly now? I think I have a silly little name for this thing also - I think I’m going to tag it ‘grenade journaling’ from now on, as a goofy riff on bullet journaling. Or maybe as an opposite to bullet journaling, I like the idea of journaling to confuse myself, journaling to complicate my thoughts, journaling to forget. 

Page 1 - the figure drawing inspiration is directly lifted from Miranda Tacchia’s work, I went to QueerStories hosted by Claire Christian at the GoMA and it made me think of her work. It was a great night, Zen Frost, in particular was wonderful! Emil Canita’s piece was also delightful. Actually everyone who performed and presented was a GEM! Raelee Lancaster, Michael James, Tigah Macey and Bizzi Lavellle all killed it. 

Page 2 - This was just, a busy, but regular work day. I suppose it quite neatly shows that this style of journaling is a direct descendant of the way I would draw pages in Impeachable. I have been thinking about how zines are good because you’re always kind of having to reprint them for different events, and how that can be kind of annoying, but actually it gives you this opportunity to always be  re-producing them (like a play) or re-issuing them (like an old and famous book). And that this bug, is also a feature, and it allows for you to be in conversation with yourself and previous versions of your work. Which is defintiely not a new idea, there’s like a whole branch of academic practice built on this idea - transformative learning - but it’s very cool that zines/diy have that kind of hermeneutic element built in, or at the least very accessible. Where as big budget art -particularly in the era of “””cancel culture”””- seems to be plagued by how it is frozen in time by having a single release or version. Neither is better or worse for it, it’s just different and offers different things, but I like that it’s another thing about zine making that lowers the barrier for entry-- If you’re worried about the spectre of perfectionism or if you hate what you wrote in a zine a while ago, change it in the next reprint, do whatever you like.