@felix-lupin / felix-lupin.tumblr.com
The heart pumps the blood the
brain needs to keep itself alive.
Even when all else fails
the heart continues, steadily beating.
A resounding metronome,
keeping everything steady.
Even unresponsive, dead to the world,
a person’s heart still beats.
Ceaselessly guiding them
forward. Until it all ends.
new fic! for creature au! yes its only existed for 2 days i am unwell :D. also gonna start copy pasting info when i make these posts so.
Summary
Soul does what he can in the absence of Whole.
you’ve learned that the job of an angel is to be nothing. how could you be anything? without Him? are you daring to say your existence is more important than His? the important thing to understand is that it’s either you or Him. and that nothing is more important than Him.
you’ve learned that the job of an angel is waiting. you haunt your own house. sometimes you chase the shadows - shadows, they must be, because there is no life without Him - of joy that don’t make you sick. (sometimes it’s nausea in the back of your throat. sometimes it’s as if you’re covered in infection. sometimes you want to rip off your own feathers because you, dirty thing you are, clearly aren’t worthy. but then you remember, the job of Vessel is the most important of all.) sometimes you look at the signs of divinity - the walls, the floors, all of it is from Him. the glass on the floor feels horrible now. how dare you? how dare you defile Him?
you ask him what to do when you feel so sick. he says there’s nothing for it. “{the nonbelief has already tainted us,}” he says, scrapes at his skin with his nails. you seize his hands. “(that’s not where the sickness is,)” you say, and try on a smile. you don’t know how it plays on your face. he is right about most things, but you think he doesn’t have to drown in his own emptiness. it feels blasphemous, at times, but that’s just because he taught you everything you know. “(to become Whole, we have to be together,)” you make a point to remind him. the first time he went silent - he had never realized. of course he had never realized. “(happiness isn’t blasphemy,)” you insist. sometimes it feels like a prayer. sometimes it feels like the sickness is insidious, taking all of your wants and your joys, until all you have is the desperation for breath that paints your neck and your thoughts. but (you hope) there can be something found while waiting that doesn’t stain.
“{the point is to be empty,}” he dictates.
“(does the happiness interrupt the emptiness?)”
you hope it’s not sick. you like whenever he’s happy. you like him.
“{i guess not.}” it’s noncommital, yet he leans into your touch, as he always does. he’s desperate. but you lean into his, too. but you’re desperate, too.
you hold his hand, regardless of how awkward the position is. it’s a promise. we’re going to lie in wait. we’re going to become Whole. and in the meantime, we will do what we can, and in the meantime, i will enjoy this while i can, and in the meantime, i will enjoy you while i can. “(some joys aren’t beyond us,)” you say. you are the Heart, after all. another promise - i want you. another promise - this want is clean, because it’s you, because it’s me, because we will take our places when it’s time. another promise - in the meantime, i love you.
Hey chat. Apathy :]
This one is the RDAU vers of Apathy because I've been thinking about them. So much. @felix-lupin this is for you. Snack time /silly
EATS THIS EATS THIS EATS THIS. thank you for the snack i am well fed<2
woe random heart in apathy dialogue be upon ye
