My whole life is Sam, Steve, and Bucky.

My new headcanon is that Bucky thinks cheesy nicknames in public are the best thing ever, because hey, holding hands and being sweet with your guy was just not the business in his day. Sam is completely mortified and wonders if it’s too late to just run away. 

Steve informs him, in usual ‘so straight faced no one can tell if he’s joking’ fashion that if he couldn’t manage to shake Bucky Sam has no hope. And, while they’re on the subject, he completely approves of this thing they have going on. He thinks it’s sweet. Cute really. His ringtone is a mashup of Bucky’s greatest pet name hits and his background is them holding hands and eating ice cream at the park.

He shows it to everyone. All. The. Time. Also that time on the quinjet where Sam passed out and drooled on Bucky’s arm? Yeah. He’s got a picture of that too. And a million others and yeah, he takes pictures when they aren’t looking, so what? 

Sam hates Steve so much. 

          “Tell me one GOOD thing about having            donuts before you go running! Or even            afterwards, for that matter!”

    「 rogers. 」                     “ sam, you do listen to the words that come out of your mouth,                       right?? ‘sides, they were bought FRESH, sue me. ” 

        “I don’t care if you slept at the donut shop overnight          just to be the first in line! You know how many calories          those things have?!”          Yes, he’s aware of the super soldier’s super metabolism.          No, he doesn’t mind trying to guilt trip him over a deep          fried confectionery that’s 1000 calories and 5 more laps          about the pond. 

ALRIGHT can we just agree that the “Language” line was actually something that Steve said to the Howlies all the time, and it was a joke because he was so foul-mouthed and it was this “hahaha of course Captain America would call you out on your language while Steve Rogers has the dirtiest fucking mouth on either side of the Atlantic” thing?

And after Cap 2 Steve has been feeling comfortable with Sam and Natasha who get it when he’s cracking jokes and so he slips up. And Tony doesn’t get it and Steve has that moment of like, fuck. Okay, well, you slipped up, you’re never going to hear the end of it, but easier to roll with it then explain that for a second you forgot all your friends were dead.

This is the only explanation for that ridiculousness that I will accept. Thank you, fandom, for finding ways to fix the script.

but really what if natasha pulled steve aside one day and was like ‘we need to talk i think you need more support’

and steve was like what

but then she pulled out a sports bra like ‘i had to guess your size sorry’

'what kind of guy would leave a usb key containing highly classified intelligence behind two pieces of gum in a vending machine'

probz the same kind of guy who hides his spare house key under a haphazard cinderblock that literally anyone could kick over by accident