#shattered – @fckenjournal on Tumblr

What happened? We were okay. We kissed, hugged, laughed, made love just hours ago - what happened? You need to tell me because it doesn't make any sense to me. I had you in my arms, in that same bed and now you're wrapped up in another's body. What happened? Wha-what did I do wrong? Please, just tell me. I'm spinning and I can't make sense of this. I can't think. I loved you, I love you - even now seeing you naked with someone else, I love you. My heart's in shock or it's beating silently because I can't hear it, I can't feel it. What happened? What did I do to deserve this pain? This betrayal? Am I that easy to discard? What happened?

Oko Ninjah (The Ramblings Of A Heart In Shock)

fckenjournal

I was drinking and suddenly I missed you. And I forgot to forget you. I thought I had. But there I was, with a third of whiskey remaining in the bottle and there you were, pushed from the back of my mind to the front of my heart in neon colors. I missed the freckles on your cheeks and how you smelled of rain. And I missed eating pop tarts for breakfast with you and watching courage the cowardly dog reruns on boomerang and I missed how I didn't have to miss you... because I had you beside me. And now you were gone. I was alone in a room with a third of whiskey left and it wasn't nearly enough to shove you back to the deepest corners of my mind. But I tried. It didn't work. I missed you and I collapsed with the rush of feelings I kept hidden and I couldn't even protect myself because all my strength went to pretending my heart didn't ache for you. And now it was shattering in front of me and all I could do was feel every piece of it crumble and miss you.

Oko Ninjah (forgot to forget)

fckenjournal

Truth

#thoughts #honesty #shattered #darkness