#sad – @fckenjournal on Tumblr

fckenjournal

I still love you

I still miss you

I still love the way our names sound together

I miss being part of two

I miss the way you held my hand

And rubbed my shoulder when I was upset

I missed the way your lips stained mine

Your kiss is a feeling I’d never forget

I miss the way we’d laugh til we cried

At the stupidest things

I miss the way we got married in a week

And decided against having rings

I miss the way I could call you

Whether I was feeling happy or sad

I miss the way you cared

You’re the best friend I ever had

I miss how I could call you up

Night or day; you would be there

Now I have nothing and no one

And I don’t belong anywhere

fckenjournal

“How could you kiss her? What, did I mean nothing to you? What did you expect me to do? I finally convince my heart to stop beating for you, to just muffle itself because the screaming within it was deafening. I finally give in and go out to distract myself over the fact that I miss you so fucking much. You moved on - while we were still together or have you forgotten that? And I just - I didn’t want to keep missing you. I didn’t want to feel the shattered thing in my chest tighten anymore. So yeah, I kissed her. I kissed her because all I could do was think of all the times our lips met and how numb they felt without yours. I kissed her and you know what? I’m gonna kiss more girls until I get the taste of you off of my lips. I’m gonna drink until I get the memory of you out of my head. And I’m gonna take as many drugs I have to until I get the ache out of my chest. Another thing… You meant everything to me. I meant that. And I wish you didn’t because now everything is just worthless. I have to transition back to a world where I walk down the street without holding your hand, back to a world where breakfast is just black coffee and a blueberry muffin because I only made pancakes for you. I have to go back to a world where I don’t have you. You. Meant. Everything. It’s me who is nothing… To you. So yes, I kissed her. I’m going to keep kissing girls until I stop feeling like nothing. I’m going to kiss girls until I learn to feel nothing.

Oko Ninjah (Kissing Girls To Forget Her)

fckenjournal

Brah, fuck these storms. We're probably gonna die and I haven't even published a story yet.

Oko ninjah

#Hawaii #Storms #Oko ninjah quotes #Life death quote #Oko ninjah #Sad #Fuck #Brah

fckenjournal

We contemplate suicide because it's the only thing we can control.

Oko Ninjah

#Oko ninjah #Hawaii #Lgbt #Me #Not you #But me #Hate #Angry #Sad #Depressed #Cryogen #Broken #Woe is me #Fucking hell #Fuck #Killing us #Alone #Lonely