I fear I must tell you something; the sun does not light my world. No, a brighter source does that. Shining a stream of light over everything including me. You are the light of my world. Now, I fear I must tell you this because if I don’t let this be known, it feels as if my chest will cave in. There are things, a lot of things inside of me that are not good. They’re, what people would call insane. But when you are around with that brightness that is yourself, those insane things retreat and the good little things inside of me come to surface. I understand that you have someone else, you’ve had that same someone else for almost a year now. I also know that there are millions and millions of unknown galaxies in our world and the next. I also know that my heart clenches every time you’re near and shatters every time I see you leave. I cannot say that you make me good because that just isn’t true. But… You do make me see that there is good inside of me. You make me see that with you, the world is as bright as the sun - I see that with you, you are that sun. A walking shiny star that I am allowed to touch and explore. So I say to you; you have someone you have been with for almost a year and we’ve only known each other for a few months but I already love you. I love the way your lips twitch when you get nervous and the way your brows slightly lift when you find something interesting. And how you take that interesting something and become lost with enthusiasm because you’ve found something else to make your own. When you’re with that someone else, I haven’t heard you utter a single word close to like let alone love. I just… Needed to tell you because I fear my chest would cave in. And I also fear that if you don’t feel how I feel, my world will suffer a tremendous destruction but I happily take that risk because if my heart is to be broken; at least it will be broken by someone I know I’ve truly loved.
Oko Ninjah (an unsent letter to you)
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