Rambling

I'm watching Cold Case and I'm just thinking about life. I mean, I don't even have a life. I really don't. I don't have a job or friends or a dog or anything really. I don't have anything.

So I'm now thinking of suicide. I think about it a lot. I try not to but it just enters my mind at random times. I've been bullied. You'd think because hawaii is supposedly paradise there'd be no bullying but... That's not accurate.

Now I'm thinking of basketball. From the time I was five and until I was about twelve or thirteen, I wanted nothing more than to be a basketball player. WNBA, that was my dream. Lisa Leslie was my favorite player and I wanted to be just like her. I was good, too. I would play basketball right after I did my homework. That's three thirty until eight in the evening. It was my life.

I never wanted to grow up. Ever. Every year until I turned fifteen, I would say I was three years younger than I really was or I'd just say that I was twelve. I loved being a kid. I said I'd always be a kid.

But bullying in elementary school is different than bullying in middle school and high school. I could take elementary school bullying, in a heartbeat. Then I hit middle school and it all went to hell.

About seventeen minutes just gone by and the killer in Cold Case buries his victims alive and he makes them write a will to say goodbye to family and friends.

I don't know. I'm just rambling on. I think of a lot of things, we all do.

Hmmm... Until next time, I guess.