#quotes – @fckenjournal on Tumblr

Pull me in like the moon Control the tides of my soul Send electric pulses to my body Then have them sink into my blood flow Hold my heart like a candle Like you’re scared the wax will burn your skin It won’t burn, I promise you It’ll just start to sink within I leave my mark on people But I want it to last with you I want it there forever Longer than a tattoo I want days, nights – The weekends and holidays I want trash TV, shitty movies I want the way you make me feel safe And your voice, your laugh The way that you feel I want you to yell at me, make me question myself So that I know that this shit’s real Kiss me like it’s our last Kiss me like it’s our first Kiss me and steal my breath Then love me and make it hurt

Oko Ninjah (shitty poem #00072981)

fckenjournal

I’m sorry… If you feel like anything less than the most important person in the world. Because, that’s what you are. You’re everything to me. I was thinking and I just feel like I couldn’t care less about anyone or anything else unless it involves you. But honestly when it’s done involving you – it no longer matters. I feel like you’ve been pulling away from me. Did I fuck up? What’d I do? I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to fuck up. I wasn’t supposed to fuck up this time. I promised myself that I wouldn’t fuck up this time. Did I fuck up? I’m sorry. Tell me what I did, and I’ll undo it. I’ll fix it. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Just tell me what I have to do. You’re everything to me. I swear that the sun doesn’t shine bright enough unless you’re up. You’re the reason why the stars are extra bright these last few nights. I love you. Everything about you, I love. Even when you’re driving me insane or teasing me about something stupid I’ve done or some word I mispronounced – I fucking love you the most when you do that. I let you down, I’m sorry. But I meant what I said in the first sentence. You are the most important person in the world to me. I’ll fix it. I can fix it. Just let me fix it… Please.

Oko Ninjah (confessions from my amateur heart)

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fckenjournal

I'm sorry that I'm a pussy I'm sorry that I'm scared I'm sorry that I change my mind And it stops me from being there When you need me to comfort you I'm sorry I'm not always around But there's this pain inside of me That seems to be pulling me down You can't say you don't see it Because you say that you do quite often But you ask me what's wrong As if you don't know the answer to the question What's wrong? You ask There's no right answer to that If I say what's wrong You'll most likely echo it back I can't complain though because it's hard You know I'm not good with words But, you're right about talking Because keeping it in is starting to hurt So, I'm in an unfamiliar place With people that I can't connect with The only upside is that I'm with you But why does it feel like all I do is make you upset? I feel like I'm losing you Maybe I already have If I have, don't tell me - not yet I don't think my heart could handle that So, I'm sorry that I'm a pussy I'm sorry I'm not always around But there's this pain inside of me That seems to be pulling me down

Oko Ninjah (Sorry.)

fckenjournal

We've been drinking lime flavored rum with orange juice and smoking cigarettes and some weed. Now we're eating burritos. And you know what? I want to kiss her. I want to taste her lips. I want her burrito-cigarette-fucking lime flavored rum, lips. I can't stop picturing me kissing her. Fuck... want to kiss her now... I want to just hold her hand and see if our fingers fit through each others like I hope they will... What the fuck is happening to me? And she has the sweetest laugh and an even sweeter fake laugh. And her smile is gorgeous. We talked. About everything and nothing. I went fucking crazy over her fucking kitten... This is the longest conversation I've ever had with a girl and it was the best conversation I've had.

The Other Night (5/9/2017 @1:07am)

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fckenjournal

I kiss you because you mean something to me - you're everything to me. Everything I love, the most important person to me. And kissing you makes sense. It makes perfect sense because I use my lips to tell you I love you, so why not leave invisible marks on your body?

Oko Ninjah (kissing you)

fckenjournal

Holding your hand is more than just that. I'm holding my world, everything I love - I'm holding a treasure that I was lucky enough to find. And whenever I see your hands holding themselves or to your sides, I have the urge to hold them. To just feel them in my own so you know I'm here and that I'll always be here and that I'll always be yours. Its the simplest gesture that allows me to have the most brightest star in all of the world in the palm of my hand.

Oko Ninjah (hand)

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fckenjournal

If I had to do it all over, the mistakes and heartaches, the breakups and makeups. It’d be with her. I fucked up so bad with her. I kept distancing myself and I got trapped in my mind for a bit. Even if I don’t ever get it right, I’d still want to be able to go back and try at least. And I’d just be grateful that instead of being trapped in my mind, I’m trapped in a time loop of the short story that was us. I'd be there when she wanted me to be, I'd stop distancing myself and I'd let her love me because I love her. We’re my favorite story and I wish I got it right. I'll always regret that.

regret

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fckenjournal

She walked away, she left me. Yet she's pissed at me for not chasing after her. She left to see if I would chase her and I stayed because she could just leave and use my feelings against me like that. She played a game she thought she would win and got angry when I didn't let her.

Oko Ninjah (nonsense games)

fckenjournal

Kisses was just a word until I felt her lips against mine. Soft and sweet. Like a semi melted Hershey kiss. Thats what her lips tasted like. With a hint of vanilla. I could do without movies or pictures or music, I would give up all the books in the world, hell erase my mind of everything - just leave her kisses. Just leave me that. Let me kiss her and her only for the rest of my life. I'd no longer drink whiskey because I'd get tipsy off of her lips. Take away marijuana from me because those lips of hers make me feel like I'm floating above the clouds. We could not have sex ever and I couldn't care less because kissing her is so intimate that I'm thankful she has even let me know what true softness really feels like. I really could kiss her for hours and hours and I wouldn't ever get sick of those lips. I mean fuck! What addictive substances has she got laced in those lips of hers? Because I just can't get enough.

Oko Nunjah (Addictive Lips)

fckenjournal

She took my hand and our eyes met. 'Do you love me?' she asked and I nodded. 'How much?' I looked up at the night sky then back at her. 'I love you more than all the stars in the universe' I told her. She nudged me then said, 'Is that even possible?' I kissed her lightly on the lips. 'Must be because here I am, doing it'

Oko Ninjah (must be)

fckenjournal

It was funny… I lost myself in her and she spent months looking for a way into my heart. She didn’t realize that it was wherever she is. She didn't even have to try because I already belonged to her.

Oko Ninjah (tagged)

fckenjournal

I was all about moments. I’d just live in the moment with whoever was there. But then she came around and I got a taste - just a graze of her lips and all the moments faded away along with everyone else. It was just her. And I didn’t want just a moment, it wasn't enough - I needed more, I needed her. It's different with her - with us, we aren't a moment. Or maybe we are... but even if we're just a moment I want to make it last as long as I can.

Oko Ninjah (moments stretched into forever)

fckenjournal

I like her. Like, I genuinely like her. I spend hours daydreaming about walking up to her and slipping my fingers in the spaces between hers and just holding her hand in mine. I spend hours just thinking of ways to say hi to her. 'Hey' No. 'Hiya' Hiya? What the fuck? 'Sup?' Sup? Sup? Oh my god. I spend hours missing her and texting her stupid gifs and memes that hopefully make her smile. I like hearing her voice even if it's just through the phone because she's sick or at work or with her family. When we talk it feels like she's right next to me. And when she is next to me, there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

Oko Ninjah (like)

fckenjournal

I just want to write to someone. I want to talk to them even if its as little as a few words every couple days. I want to hear about their day, the weather even though there’s google. I want to know if they went on a walk and saw flower shaped clouds or if they’re like me and stayed in watching TV. I don’t know why but there’s just somethinf about exchanging some words with someone else, whether they’re across the street, across the country or across the world. Yeah…

Oko Ninjah

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fckenjournal

I fear I must tell you something; the sun does not light my world. No, a brighter source does that. Shining a stream of light over everything including me. You are the light of my world. Now, I fear I must tell you this because if I don’t let this be known, it feels as if my chest will cave in. There are things, a lot of things inside of me that are not good. They’re, what people would call insane. But when you are around with that brightness that is yourself, those insane things retreat and the good little things inside of me come to surface. I understand that you have someone else, you’ve had that same someone else for almost a year now. I also know that there are millions and millions of unknown galaxies in our world and the next. I also know that my heart clenches every time you’re near and shatters every time I see you leave. I cannot say that you make me good because that just isn’t true. But… You do make me see that there is good inside of me. You make me see that with you, the world is as bright as the sun - I see that with you, you are that sun. A walking shiny star that I am allowed to touch and explore. So I say to you; you have someone you have been with for almost a year and we’ve only known each other for a few months but I already love you. I love the way your lips twitch when you get nervous and the way your brows slightly lift when you find something interesting. And how you take that interesting something and become lost with enthusiasm because you’ve found something else to make your own. When you’re with that someone else, I haven’t heard you utter a single word close to like let alone love. I just… Needed to tell you because I fear my chest would cave in. And I also fear that if you don’t feel how I feel, my world will suffer a tremendous destruction but I happily take that risk because if my heart is to be broken; at least it will be broken by someone I know I’ve truly loved.

Oko Ninjah (an unsent letter to you)

fckenjournal

I thought (for half a second) that someone actually gave a fuck about me… Shame on me.

Oko Ninjah

fckenjournal

You don’t know how much I love you. The things I would do for you. If I could show you what my heart looked like, it would be filled with our memories. Like the first day I met you in homeroom, we were doing a poster and by some miracle I was partnered with you. I remember the first thing you’ve ever said to me. You were drawing and you asked me, ‘do you write nice?’ You would feel my heart slow and my body fill with heat as your words melted the walls guarding my heart. You would see our first kiss in front of the principal who was complaining about us holding hands. So I pulled in my arms and kissed you. I still can’t believe you let me kiss you, I know how you hate PDA. When we first had sex. It was filled with laughter and clumsiness but it was incredible. You don’t know how much it meant to me that you shared your body with me. The first time we made love… It was on halloween, we were at Matt’s house for his costume party. He had a spare room and we stayed in there with a box of pizza, a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of tequila and an eigth of weed. We started kissing and we started having sex but it was different. Our bodies were in sync, our eyes were locked and we were attentive to each other. We literally fucked around and ended up making love. I love you and if ever you’re questioning us, I will happily remind you of why we got together. You’re my angel and I’m your devil. I corrupt you and you keep my ass in check. There is nothing that I would do to hurt you, I wouldn’t even know how to if the instructions were tattooed on my skin.

Oko Ninjah

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