I talk a lot on this blog about ways that fat people can advocate for themselves, and that thin fat activists can help advocate for us. Whether it's dealing with the bigotry of random strangers or...
I am writing this article from a privileged perspective; and I am not here to damn, guilt, or embarrass thin people. But I think we need to have a talk. Because it’s so easy to fall back on tired old excuses for why we’re not privileged. But we need to look at these excuses a little more closely because when your privilege isn't checked, you risk furthering marginalization.
Fatphobia in so many ways is about hating and policing women and our bodies, but what I've realized recently is that the fatphobia that fat men experience is also a result of misogyny. I have found many themes that pointed to fatphobia toward men, at its roots, being about anxiety that men were becoming woman-like. Ultimately, I believe that the treatment of fat men is a feminist issue.
fatoutloud reblogged
Anonymous asked:
I can't be body positive. I tried and can't. I'll never be okay with people morbidly obese at 250lbs plus having diabetes, high blood pressure and other diseases due to extreme obesity be seen as body positive. Not that I've ever voiced my thoughts aloud. I don't want to be a bully but at the same time I don't want to ignore health risks. And so it's this never ending sea-saw of feeling guilty or feeling like a liar. I also hate my body type not being skinny so there's that.
Here’s the thing though. And I’m probably going to be unfollowed by some people for this, but I don’t care. If your reason for disliking fat people is that “it’s unhealthy,” then that’s bullshit. You don’t care that much about the health of random strangers. If you really did, then you’d be worried about EVERYONE, because skinny people and average people can have severe health issues too. Anybody can. You cannot see on the surface how “healthy” someone is. So if that’s your reason, I’m calling you out right now to think long and hard about your thought process behind this.
Body positivity isn’t rainbow skippy la-la land where we pretend that no one ever has health problems. It just means you have RESPECT for ALL people, regardless of their body type, size, or ableness. You recognize that unless you are their doctor, then their health is none of your business. And you embrace that everyone is different and there is not one magic size that is the cutoff for being “healthy.” You don’t know everyone’s story. The fact that there are health risks associated with this or that or the other thing is irrelevant, because you’re not their doctor. You’re a stranger.
Body positivity has nothing to do with health and everything to do with respect and acceptance of your fellow humans.
I deserve better and so does everyone else and I and lots of others are fighting for it and we’re going to win. But to be clear, we shouldn’t have to. Nobody should have to fight to be treated with basic human respect.
fatoutloud reblogged
I never had to come out as fat.
When you grow up overweight, everyone notices — not just your classmates, who are too young to have mastered the art of tact, but also friends’ parents and teachers. I knew I was fat because people told me I was fat, either directly (a slap to the stomach and an unkind word) or in subtler ways (having a teacher rifle through my lunch box and comment on the contents). I felt shame over my size long before I had any concept of my sexuality, and years after coming out as gay, I still feel anxious identifying as fat.
As an openly gay writer, one of the questions I’m asked most often is, “Were you bullied growing up?” And the answer is yes, but it’s never the answer they’re looking for. In many ways I was lucky to have come of age in a liberal enclave where my sexuality was accepted if not embraced. Oh, sure, I’ve had the word “faggot” hurled at me — and the sad truth is, I’d be shocked if a gay man hadn’t — but it was always secondary. The real source of my bullying was the extra weight I’ve carried since childhood. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been called a “faggot” to my face, but I couldn’t tell you how often someone has made a dig about my weight.
I have always been "chubby", (around a size 12 since I hit puberty) but in the past few years I've gone up to a size 16. I like the way I look, but I feel physically uncomfortable, and I think I would feel better at a lower weight. my problem is that I don't know how to reconcile my desire to be body positive with my desire to lose weight. I feel like I'm giving into societal pressures or something. What are your thoughts?
I think it's important to look at where your desire to lose weight is coming from. What exactly makes you feel physically uncomfortable? Do you feel weak or tired? What exactly is the issue? If you're feeling tired or weak, and you feel it's because of your weight, you might consider looking at your eating and/or exercise habits. Often times issues we equate to our weight are just our poor choices in eating and/or lack of proper exercise. Realize, that weight and health are two separate things. You can be fat and healthy, just as you can be thin and unhealthy. I personally am a LOT bigger than you are and I feel very good in my body. I'm also very healthy according to my doctor. But I also focus on eating healthy and exercising regularly and have for years. Even though my weight hasn't really changed, my health has improved greatly.
Instead of focusing on what size you wear or how much you weigh I recommend focusing instead on healthy habits such as nutritious eating and increasing your exercise level/fitness level.
In the end, your choices are your choices. A focus on weight loss is your choice, but I believe it's important to come to terms with where those feelings and desires are coming from. We live in a society that bombards us daily with the messages that thin = good and that fat = bad, none of us are immune to those messages or their effects. I believe one of the most important things we can do in this life is develop self love - our happiness and even the way we treat others are all effected by the way we feel about ourselves and our bodies. And loving yourself, contrary to what the media would like us to believe, does not come from a dress size.
In the mean time, I recommend looking up some info on HAES (Health at Every Size).
Be good to yourself! (:
This society tells people that, if someone is fat, our bodies define us – that they know everything they need to know about us with just a cursory glance, and that the news is not good. This is why size acceptance activism is necessary – because people and societal institutions define, stigmatize, bully and oppress us based on our size – all sanctioned, even encouraged, by the government – based on stereotypes, assumptions and bigotry. Our bodies are amazing, but they are not all that there is to us, and my activism is working toward a world where, though I will always be willing and happy to advocate for my fat body, there will be no need to do so. (via Ragen Chastain)
- Ragen Chastain, from Our Bodies Our Selves
One of the many issues with the idea of the “War on Obesity” or “Preventing Obesity” or talking about “the Obese” is that it defines people entirely by their body size. The government is waging war against a body size. Society talks about people with the same body size as if they can be defined and understood completely by the mathematical equation that defines us as “obese” – a definition that has been ...
fatoutloud reblogged
achubbysouthernbelle-deactivate
Her thighs are fabulous…..and those tattoo’s OH MY…..
"Bullies get bigger and meaner when we stay silent. Somebody's gotta say that it's not ok."
One thing that fat people often tell me makes them uncomfortable is the idea that they take up too much space. Here’s what I think about that. I think that our bodies take up just the right amount of space, whatever size they are. If they get bigger or smaller they still take up just the right amount of space. Because they are our BODIES.
It is ridiculous for people to think that they, and anyone smaller than them, take up “the right” amount of space, but those bigger than them take up too much. Spare me.
Nobody takes up too much space just by virtue of existing. Tall people don’t take up too much space. People in wheelchairs don’t take up too much space. Fat people don’t take up too much space. If you are on a crowded train and you sit with your legs completely splayed out sprawling across as much space as you can, then an argument can be made that you are taking up too much space, but it is impossible that your body takes up too much space just being your body...
fatoutloud reblogged
lavahag-deactivated20190627
Dear Local Businesses
Putting up a sign that says “JOIN US IN THE WAR AGAINST OBESITY” guarantees that I will never, EVER, spend money there. My body is not a battlefield. No body is.
bumsquash
No love no money.
No respect.
I’ve been anemic several times in my life. I noticed that I was having the symptoms so I told my acupuncturist. My acupuncturist requested that I get a blood panel confirming and, like an idiot, I went to my doctor. They told me to step on the scale and I said “No thank you” which always gets us off to a rockin’ start. The nurse opened my folder and her eyes went wide (I assume that my previous doctor had made notes about the cholesterol test debacle (which you can read about in my blog post “A Tale of Two Cholesterol Tests”). Regardless, whatever she read shook her so much that she forgot to take my blood pressure. She left, the doctor entered and that’s where the fun starts.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I think I’m anemic, I’m having the following symptoms….
Doctor: At your weight, it’s diabetes. Lose 50 pounds and come back.
Me: (remaining calm) I’m happy to entertain that as a possibility, but I’m going to want a blood test to confirm.
Doctor: (handing me a diet and exercise sheet) It’s really not necessary, no matter what is wrong with you, you’ll feel a lot better if you lose 50 pounds.
Me: Be that as it may, I’m going to insist on a blood test. It’s not like I’m asking you to pay for it. Also, this exercise sheet says that I should start by walking 10 minutes a day. I currently work out about 20 hours a week so should I stop all that and substitute a brisk walk? It would certainly save me a lot of time, but I doubt it would have the intended results.
Doctor: (sighing heavily and looking at me as if I’m definitely a liar) Fine, I’ll do the test.
I wait, he comes back.
Doctor: Your glucose is 72.
Me: Isn’t that basically perfect?
Doctor: Yes, but you probably still have diabetes, we just need to test you at different times.
Me: (now beginning to lose patience) In the meantime, could we perhaps do a test for, oh – I don’t know…anemia?
Doctor: I suppose.
I wait, he comes back
Doctor: Well, you have anemia.
Me: (positively dripping with sarcasm) That’s so WEIRD, that's what I thought I had!
Now, out of curiosity, if I had followed your diet and exercise sheet as you requested and managed to lose the two pounds per week that you want me to lose, unlike the 95% of people who fail, it would have taken me 25 weeks. What would have happened if I had dieted while my anemia went untreated for 25 weeks? And since you seemed to be stumped with that one, let me ask you another… How many other people have you done this too? How any people have become sick or died at your hand because you looked at them and diagnosed them as “fat”?
Doctor: I think we would have noticed if things didn’t improve once you had lost 25lbs.
Me: Really? I doubt it. It seems to me that you pulled 50 pounds out of your ass, since you don’t have my weight or height. So I doubt that 25 pounds would have been a magic number that made you pay attention to my actual symptoms. Also, you didn’t answer my question, what would have happened?
Doctor: I guess you could have technically died…
Me: I’m leaving, and I’m not paying for this.
Doctor: Of course.
What about you? Do you have doctor stories – good, bad, funny, interesting? Please feel free to put them in the comments below.
-Ragen Chastain, from So My Doctor Tried To Kill Me
The truth is that there are people of vastly different weights with the same eating and exercise habits and people of the same weight with very different eating and exercise habits. Body size and health are complicated, multifaceted and not entirely within our control. When you make guesses about people based on the way that they look, that’s stereotyping. When you attach judgments to those guesses, that’s bigotry. To paraphrase the brilliant Marilyn Wann, the only things you can tell from someone’s body size are the size of their body, and your prejudices about bodies that size.
- Ragen Chastain from Bullying For Our Own Good
fatoutloud reblogged
I think the source of my complaint is that we have a body positive community that says all bodies are beautiful but still, in probably subconscious ways, rewards having a body that is the mainstream ideal, only scaled up.
There is a feeling of being too fat to be pretty according to societal standards and then too shapeless to be pretty according to fat standards. There is in some ways a hierarchy of fat bodies where some echoes of the dominant ideal are reinforced. Even fat clothing retailers favor an hourglass body type or proportions that are “curvy”.
—Mary (http://premierboner.tumblr.com)
Hell the fuck to the yes god damn mothafuckin’ straight up truth. As a superfat who definitely does NOT have that “ideal” fat body, there is nothing more recognizable than this issue right here.
And it’s dangerous for those who are new to the movement as well as those who are still working through a lot of shit with their body image.
(via heftea)
Co-signed. Fucking fed up with still not being visible/included.
(via beautyofthesoft)
I was in a documentary called America the Beautiful 2 – The Thin Commandments (now available on Netflix.) The director, Darryl Roberts, asked me for my thoughts on an e-mail he had received from someone who watched the film. I think that it illustrates a lot of common misconceptions about fat people. Darryl agreed to let me blog about it, of course keeping the author anonymous. I’ve split the email up to answer. It contains some highly triggering language, you can skip the indented sections if you just want to read just my commentary. Of course I can’t answer for everyone in the film, or all fat people, or anyone other than myself, but here are my thoughts...