Ephesians 2:10
(Sorry if you receive this question twice, my computer crashed while I was sending it.)I am agnostic and feel drawn to the Catholic Church. I went to a service at my local church and some bits made me feel really connected to God but other bits were confusing and I was scared to speak to the priest at the end of the service. I haven't gone back as I am too nervous (I get anxious a lot) and I don't know where to go from here. Should I try and speak to the priest? I feel like a fake because I am not sure if God exists. Are there any prayers that will help me connect with/discover God?Thanks x
Well, thanks for opening up at least here this way... it's a first step.
Some ideas:
- Go at your own pace. If that means going back and being a fly on the wall for a while, even for quite a while, that's perfectly fine.
- It's totally normal to have questions. The strange thing would be if you didn't. No priest is going to look at you like you're weird because you have questions. :-) But wait until you feel comfortable to ask. Of course you know that this askbox is open (until it fills up again), so this is one place you can get answers easily (but not always promptly). :-(
- Don't worry about "feeling like a fake." Just be yourself. If you don't know whether God exists, that's fine...
- The Catholic liturgy is really complex. Everything is there for a reason, but those reasons are deep and historical and usually Biblical too. It's not something you can expect to figure out "on a first date." Some people take years to wrap their minds around everything, and I'll bet you could stump almost any Catholic around on at least one point of the Mass. :-) But the answers do exist, so feel free to ask around or poke around on the Internet.
- Prayers to connect with God? I would suggest maybe spending some time with the Bible. With an open mind and an open heart, asking God to speak to you through it. Now as we all know, it's a book (more like a library of books) written between 2000-3000 years ago in a culture that is very foreign to us, so you have to take that into consideration. Some of the Psalms (not all of them, for that very reason) are excellent, though. I'm thinking of Psalms 23, 51, 131, 139, 150... for starters. But really if you get the chance to sit down and read one of the Gospels either in part or straight through, it can be really helpful. Or some of the shorter letters of St. Paul, especially Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians... Try to let it wash over you and let God speak to you.
- Praying the "Our Father" slowly (you'll find it in Matthew 6:9-13) is also an excellent way to discover God's heart and how he wants to be spoken to.
- But don't expect "connecting" with God to be like some sort of emotional surge. Sometimes it happens, but "fireworks" aren't our usual "daily bread." Just expect some little seed of faith or seed of openness to be planted each time you pray. Ask for light and it will never be denied you.
- Every Catholic parish has a program set up for adults who are interested in getting instruction about the faith and perhaps eventually entering the Catholic Church, so there's always something that you can plug into when you feel ready.
I hope it helps! Like I said, those are just some random ideas. God bless you and count on my prayers.
- Father Shane
Bored?
Why not pick up the Bible and read a book? Seriously. Not my idea.
Why not discover a few of the books of the Bible that are not commonly known? Or perhaps from which we have heard an occasional passage during the Liturgy but which we have never read in their entirety?
Close your browser. You can get through something like Ephesians or Philippians in 15-20 minutes.
Or a Gospel like Mark's in under an hour. (Reading a Gospel cover-to-cover, the way it was meant to be read, is always super-enriching.)
Or pick 3 random chapters from First Corinthians. Guaranteed that one of them will speak to you in a special/personal way.
Or the Song of Songs from the OT. Read it as a love song, then reread it as God's (the bridegroom's) love for the Church (or you, the bride).
Or Acts of the Apostles if you're into heroism. Or Judges if you love stories. Or... anything.
You know you won't regret it.
Just a thought. God bless!