I definitely needed a better sense of the "what for."

In other words, get into the best college... for what? Get the best job... for what? Get rich... for what?

Will the best college make you the best person you can be? Often it won't. Will the best major guarantee your success in life? Often it won't. Will wealth make you truly full happy? Never.

But I wasn't thinking like that, as you can tell from the story. It took that year off to start putting things in perspective. And I never really got around to asking the right question -- it took a sudden Godbolt out of the blue to make it happen... "What does God want your life to be for?"

Anyway, if you're asking yourself that question at this time in your life -- and I hope you are -- then you're in better shape than I was. Take it easy, be patient, let God reveal his plan little by little... get advice or (even better) spiritual direction, spend time with Jesus in adoration or with the sacraments, seek to stretch your heart with acts of generosity and service...

And be normal and have lots of fun, too, otherwise you'll go nuts. :-)

I don't know; was that what you were looking for? God bless you!

- Father Shane

P.S. Don't believe the people who say "Follow your dream and your life will be wonderful." Follow God's dream for you, and he will totally redefine "wonderful" for you.

Ouch. Well, there's not really much you can do, unfortunately. Ultimately it's really a question of what the priest wants to do.

Lack of reverence stems from lack of faith, which can in turn simply come from misunderstandings and/or lack of education. So don't judge them; it's almost impossible for us to tell if irreverence is really done out of hatred for God, and what degree of guilt a particular act of blasphemy or sacrilege may imply.

So if there's a way for you to kneel, do so! But try to avoid ostentatiously doing it in the front row as if you're trying to make a statement. Just treat God like God... wherever you usually sit.

Regarding the breaking of the bread, here are the official norms:

So clearly the lay faithful shouldn't be doing so. But again there's not a whole lot you can do. Even writing to the bishop, while certainly a valid recourse, isn't always helpful; the bishop himself can't be there policing every Mass! Ultimately the priest has a lot of autonomy, even if he's denying you your right (Code of Canon Law #214) to celebrate the Eucharist as it should be.

If it gets to the point where these abuses are disturbing your peace and distracting you so much during Mass that you can't focus on Christ, then you may need to end up "voting with your feet" and seeking another Catholic community to call home while you're at college...

God bless you and I pray for some sort of resolution!

- Father Shane

Oh, it's pretty rare that God would speak through dreams. It can happen, but the normal rule of thumb is that God speaks through peace (like your experience in a church) rather than through distress or confusion (like your dream), except in cases where we're far from him in sin and he needs to shake us back to our senses.

The devil works in the opposite way. When you're drawing closer to God, he'll try to distract you with empty fears. So I think it's a case of that.

It's pretty common when you're discerning a vocation to have all kinds of odd distractions like this. You just have to keep your compass pointed north: to what you saw clearly in the light, even if it's dark now.

Go to Jesus! He'll never let you down. The website I usually recommend for getting to know more about discernment is www.vocation.com, but if I can help with anything more specific feel free to ask.

God bless you!

- Father Shane

An excellent question! I've run across a few women on Tumblr who are studying theology, but the only one I can remember off the top of my head is tantotanto. You might want to bounce your question off her. 

Meanwhile, I asked the person who's most expert on this that I know... my sister. She got a bachelor's and a master's degree in theology from a university you've heard of, and then spent 2 years working as a DRE before getting married and starting to raise her beautiful family.

Here's what she wrote me:

Regarding psychology, it definitely could interface with theology, but obviously some psychological frameworks are far more compatible with the Catholic faith than others.

Hope it helps... God bless you!

- Father Shane

Isn't that amazing? Only Catholics would think of turning to someone who's celibate for dating advice. ;-)

Here's a great interview (part 1 and part 2) with someone who wrote a great book all about this.

If guys your age were nearly as mature as they were at that age a couple generations ago, your situation would be a lot easier, wouldn't it?

God bless you and count on my prayers!

- Father Shane