Finally A Chance To Show My Quality

I just gotta say in a lot of the queer ships where 1/2 of the ship is actually confirmed to be queer (typically MLM ships) usually the other half of that ship is 10x more gay and 100x more batshit crazy in love with the other person. like gazing into their eyes, sacrificing themselves for the other person, saying shit like “you’re the only one i can trust” or “we’ll do it together” or “i’ll always have your back”. but people will be like “no that’s just friendship.” they literally have other friends??? who they are completely normal about??? im sorry but it gets to a point… like they’re incapable of keeping a romantic relationship but the second they fight with the other person they’re like fully devastated, bawling their eyes out, and rushing off to apologize immediately???

sometimes i want fix-it fics but sometimes i want break-it fics where everything gets worse and every good thing that happened in canon gets destroyed, obliterated, and decimated.

TFW your mother died when you were young and your father became cold and distant and would rather have a soldier than a son but your older brother tried to protect you to the best of his ability but at some point you have to fight even though you don’t really want to because none of you have ever known peace and your brother is starting to slowly end up more and more like your father but he still defends you against him and suddenly your father thinks you’re better off dead but then he dies and so does your brother and you never really got to reconcile with your father and your brother never really got to chance to stop fighting but now you have to move on with your life from the both of them even though it kills you. but hey at least you have a great wife.

Insane that he literally just admitted to it???

Insane how many people insist Dean isn’t queer as if this wasn’t in the first episode.

He really said that his boobs were real and then starting smiling when he got manhandled?? And y’all say he’s straight??

SPN Characters as Random Screenshots on my phone

Honestly insane to me that the FBI was like “Oh yea Dean is definitely the mastermind here and Sam is just the dumb baby brother who got dragged along with him” like where is the BAU when you need them???

Do you guys ever think about how John’s deal with Azazel wasn’t really about Dean?? Like sure, on the surface the deal is about Dean’s life being saved but I think for John it meant something else. Like John knows that the clock is ticking and sooner or later Azazel is gonna enact his grand plan and Sam is right there in the thick of it. He knows that if Sam can’t be swayed to do the right thing, then Sam will “have to” die, and John would probably have to be the one do it.

The problem is, though, that John can’t objectively determine how far gone Sam really is, because he doesn’t know Sam. We see throughout S1 that Sam and John’s relationship is strained, not for lack of love, but because they are both incredibly strong willed and have trouble seeing from the other’s perspective. In John’s POV, he’s just doing what he has to do to protect his family and that’s it, he shouldn’t have to be questioned on why or how it gets done. But from Sam’s POV, John is being unreasonable and secretive, and he can’t make any concessions for his own children.

Dean is caught right in the middle of this. He knows both John and Sam’s mentalities incredibly well and while he may not necessarily agree or even understand why Sam thinks the way he does, he does concede with Sam on some things, even if it takes time. Furthermore, when John is possessed, Dean recognizes it because he knows how his father thinks and acts. This, in John’s mind (if he remembers the interaction), would solidify the fact that Dean knows how John would want Dean to act if he wasn’t there. Despite the fact that Dean didn’t act how John would’ve wanted, nine times out of ten Dean does act how John wants (at least in S1). Dean and Sam were already somewhat suspicious of John’s behavior after they rescued him, but when Dean tells Sam that John is possessed, he says “What?” and then asks Dean “How do you know?” this indicates that nothing about John’s behavior stood out enough for him to immediately believe Dean, whereas John telling Dean he was proud had to have been lingering in Dean’s mind for him to immediately use it as evidence against him.

Truthfully, it probably wasn’t John’s behavior that convinced Sam that he possessed, but rather Dean’s behavior. Sam knows that Dean wouldn’t say that or point the gun at John unless Dean was sure that John was possessed, and Sam’s trust in Dean outweighed any uncertainty he had. You can see in the moment when Sam keeps looking between them, and Dean’s eyes tear up, Sam knows that Dean is right. This proves that Sam will trust Dean’s judgement and that Dean has a fundamental understanding of how Sam and John behave to the point where he can recognize when one of them is acting unusual.

But Dean still hesitates to take the shot, and then when John gets a hold on Azazel, Sam refuses to take it. Then, in the hospital, all Sam and John really do is argue. To the point where Dean uses his ghostly coma powers to get them to stop. Even in limbo, he’s still mediating things between them. John probably took it as the sign that it was. Without Dean as a mediator between the two of them, Sam and John would just keep clashing and clashing over and over again. And while Sam loved John, it was clear that Dean took up more space in Sam’s life, and that losing Dean would hurt him in a different way and probably push him over the edge. John knew that no matter what he did, he wouldn’t be able to curb Sam’s anger or be there for him in the way he needed to be because John and Sam are too similar in that they’re both stubborn and vengeful. John wasn’t able to compromise his worldview and he knew it. But Dean was, and that would make it easier for Sam to cope.

It’s not that John wouldn’t be able to kill Sam if he needed to. It’s that John himself wouldn’t know if he needed to or not. Because they’re both at such polar ends and can’t concede with each other, John wouldn’t be able to determine what part of Sam’s actions were from grief, which part of it was just Sam, and which part of it was because of Azazel. Furthermore, Sam didn’t have the same trust in John’s actions that he did in Dean’s and it’s clear. Sam would probably bail on John if Dean actually died, or at the very least hold him at arms length, and neither of them would probably be able to keep their tempers in check very long.

This brings me to anecdote that John tells Dean after making the deal. John says that Dean would John after hard hunts and that John fears he made Dean grow up too fast. I don’t think John was just saying that to reminisce, I think it was purposeful. Right after John says all that, he tells Dean he either has to save Sam or kill him. He knows that it’s probably going to stick with Dean, especially considering those were his last words. He knows Dean will be confused about it and will probably replay the moment in his over and over again trying to figure out what it means. And that anecdote is supposed to push Dean into understanding that Dean needs to be mature, and once again push aside his feelings in order to comfort and be there for Sam. It’s supposed to remind Dean that he needs to be the mature one, that he needs to keep it together, and that he needs to be the shoulder to cry on. And that’s what Dean does.

So in the end it wasn’t about giving Dean a second chance at life, it was about what John thought would have the best outcome of success for his mission to stop Azazel.

RIP Dean Winchester you would’ve loved watching Wolverine’s shirt explode to reveal his glistening abs in 3D.

Needed to put this out there