other girls
me
Illustration of the Château de Malmaison by Blanche McManus from Royal Palaces and Parks of France
Source: Project Gutenburg
So here is the second worse Napoleon Bonaparte themed erotica I have ever seen. All I know is that it’s a caricature of Napoleon painted by an anonymous artist around 1800. I call it “here he comes (wit his dick out)”. I apologize, but I must subject you all to it.
Take a gander at this hot mess. Join me on this journey of dissecting this monstrosity
She has a face full of ass, but couldn’t care less and almost her entire arm (up to the shoulder!) disappearing up the other lady’s vag
this poor lady doesn’t like that fact that her face is mere inches from Napoleon’s dirty foot and honestly who can blame her
between a rock and a hard place
she doesn’t give a fuck AT ALL about her situation. she’s more preoccupied with her nails apparently. also where is that rope going
RIP her back
And here he is, the man himself, Napoleon Bonaparte. He’s got his dick AND ass out, but he doesn’t care. See that look in his eyes? He’s a man on a mission.
“Eat your heart out, Wellington.”
Napoleon: Here Montchenu, I grew some beans in my garden and I’d like for you to have some :)
Lowe: *busts through the door* ThesE BEANS ARE VERY SUSPICIOUS. *holds up magnifying glass* IS THAT A CODED MESSAGE I SEE?
I couldn’t resist
now that I think about it Vasily Vereshchagin’s Napoleon in winter clothing is like the only time I’ve ever seen Napo with facial hair?
French topaz, yellow gold, and acid etched rock crystal cane, depicting a figure of Napoleon within a cage
From Christie’s The Vertical Art Collection: Walking Sticks
shhhhh he sleeps
the black lipstick, the awkward “en garde!” pose, his hand morphing into a sword, the telescope in his non-sword holding hand, HIS LEGS
why didn't I buy this
tfw you have no face
Napoleon Bonaparte- spent first years of his life speaking Italian, didn't start learning French until 10, barely touched English while on St. Helena
AC Unity Napoleon- has a suave English accent
Record of Napoleon Bonaparte's death and burial, dated May 1821. The entry near the middle of the page reads, “Napoleon Bonaparte, late Emperor of France, he died on the 5th Instant at the old House at Longwood, and was interred on Mr Richard Torbett’s Estate.”
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Poster for Abel Gance's Napoleon
Stills from Abel Gance's Napoleon
Poster for Abel Gance's Napoleon