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The Optimistic Authour

@fangirling-phoenix / fangirling-phoenix.tumblr.com

Dina | 25 | Greece | She/Her | Bisexual | Fangirl by nature, disaster by trade. Multifandom. Spoilers ahead. Ye have been warned.
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-Recording begins-

Spider-Man: Hi folks! I’d like to give a PSA to my usual villains, and anyone else with ideas for the next two months.
Spider-Man: *holds up a brick sized lump of metal* See this? It’s titanium!
Spider-Man: *starts flattening it out and shaping it*
Spider-Man: See, we all know that I’m crazy strong, but I never wanna really hurt anybody right? Right. While that hasn’t changed, something very important does right around this time of year.
Spider-Man: *pulls off a glove and pulls a chunk into a long stem with his nails carving lines for added texture*
Spider-Man: See, this is what we like to call exam season. Anybody who knows anything about college can tell you that it drives people up the wall, and I already climb mine when I’m antsy.
Spider-Man: *starts winding the thin sheet around the stem, delicately crimping petals in place*
Spider-Man: I do wanna be clear that this isn’t a threat, okay? I’m still not interested in crossing the line, which brings me to my point.
Spider-Man: *throws the titanium rose at the brick wall behind him, stem first, and embeds it all the way through*
Spider-Man: /That/ was restrained because I could focus enough to have full control. If I’m extremely tired or otherwise distracted, there’s just as much risk of me slipping up as someone operating heavy machinery. I’m probably not going to remember what sleep is for two whole months, so remember!
Spider-Man: *pulls out a brick and snaps it like a cookie*
Peter fucking Parker: Don’t.
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c-e-mcgill

By the way, if any of you, like me, are nerds who love maps, I highly recommend checking out the Turgot map. I won't link it or tumblr will eat this post, but you can find it just by searching Wikipedia - it's an incredibly detailed 3D map of Paris made in the 1730s, and by "incredibly detailed," I mean

incredibly

incredibly

INCREDIBLY

DETAILED!

Look, there's Notre Dame! Individual trees! Individual lampposts! Individual boats!! (Some of them even have little people in lol, though clearly not to scale)

The full scan is over 35,000 pixels wide, guys! That's over 10 feet of map!! All drawn and engraved by hand! I'm freaking out a little! What an absolutely amazing piece of history & art!

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if your personal least fave isn’t on here reblog and tell me what it is!! but also reblog anyways because it’s nice :]

glad to see such positive feedback about my incredible ability to compile the rankest shit you’ll ever see in your life

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oneiriad
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Viva la Vulva amulet: crowned, mounted on a horse, wielding a crossbow and a torch, in silver. Medieval European pilgrims wore these apotropaic medals to protect against plague, robbers, rapists, and other dangers. See comments for more.

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i think the game of thrones directors should kill themselves

this is why you need intimacy coordinator because this is insane. INSANE. she comes out of this with claustrophobia and a fear of bodies of water. still, she also talks of it like it was "chickening out" not to accept to be waterboarded for ten hours. she thinks that was for art. not to shit on GoT but this isn't art. anyway, i hope these directors do not get to make art until they've understood basic respect for their colleagues.

“did her own stunts” is a very different thing than “being waterboarded for realsies,” wikipedia

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