the “bad guys” in hallmark movies end up always being the most respectful men ever.

because they will find out their girlfriend of 3 years (that they were about to propose to) went off to a random farm in minnesota, hours away from were the two of them built a life together, and she decided to just… stay there without even consulting him.

and then he decides to take a trip to make sure she’s okay, because this is generally alarming behavior, and then sees that she literally fell in love with her ex within one (1) week- and he wasn’t there, but you can TELL that they’ve made out a couple times.

and then she just strings him along for a few days, until fucking christmas eve, when she just breaks up with him and is like “i know we used to have the same values, but i’ve never loved you. mark makes me happier than you ever did. and you ONLY care about work, whereas i like christmas and fun, like a Good Person.”

and then, after finding out his entire relationship was a lie and he had his life turned upside down in a week and he got dumped on christmas, this guy’s just like “ok yeah that makes sense. i only wish you the best of happiness with mark. i hope you guys build a great life together in christmastreefarmville. thank you for everything.”

An AU where two Hallmark Christmas Bad Guys are both getting flights back to New York after being dumped by their respective Smalltown Blonde Girlfriends, and they bond over their shared experiences and fall in love in the departures lounge

@teashoesandhair your wish is my command :)

Probably, Levi should be more upset.

Probably he is still in shock. Right? He looks out of his taxi window (it's not technically a taxi, just some guy named Corey who offered him a ride to the airport, because Uber doesn't operate in fucking Tinyville, Bumfuck Middle-Of-Nowhere, Utah) and tracks water droplets racing each other down the glass, because of course it's raining, and his bad knee is killing him. 

Levi sniffs and rubs at his eyes and then pulls out his phone and books a ticket back to New York, wincing as four hundred and twenty-six dollars are deducted from his bank account. 

And, like, he should definitely be more upset.

He just got broken up with. He was engaged, for God's sake. A four-year relationship… over. Just like that. 

Corey says, "Ten minutes to the station." 

Doctor Who Season 4 but it’s Buzzfeed Unsolved

It took me several of these before I realized they weren’t actual quotes the DoctorDonna era was just Like That

This is a call out post for one Principality Aziraphale, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, Angel of the flaming sword:

If your demon boyfriend in shades steps on consecrated ground to save you from Nazis (or for any other reason tbh) you do the honorable thing and pick. him. up!

The Nazi scene where nothing changes except Crowley does the whole thing from Aziraphale’s arms.

@momuno​ @thesevenumbrellas​ I tried.

“Sorry, consecrated ground. Ah! It’s like…beingatthebeachinbarefeet!” Crowley hopped and tiptoed down the aisle, already feeling his skin blistering in his socks.

Aziraphale looked outraged. “What are you doing here?” he hissed.

“Stopping you from getting into troub–hEY!”

Aziraphale glowered at Crowley like he hadn’t literally swept Crowley off his feet and was now holding the demon in his arms. Crowley’s arms looped around Aziraphale’s neck instinctively, but the rest of him was stunned into stillness and silence.

“What are you doing on consecrated ground? You know what it does to you!”

“I. Um. How are you holding me like this?” Crowley looked down like he expected Aziraphale to be floating. “I’ve seen you try to run, you’re not exactly the most–”

“Don’t you change the subject on me!”

“Me?! You’re the one who–!”

One of the Nazis cleared their throat. Crowley blinked - he’d completely forgotten they were there, too busy distracted by the ethereal flash Aziraphale’s eyes took on when he was truly irritated, and the disgustingly comfortable way he fit in the angel’s arms.

“I should have known, of course! These people are working for you,” Aziraphale accused him. They were almost nose-to-nose like this. (Satan bless sunglasses, because Aziraphale did not need to know how intently Crowley was staring at his pursed lips.)

Crowley reared back in offense (and maybe to make Aziraphale’s hand press into his back just a little harder). “No, they’re a bunch of half-witted Nazi spies running around London blackmailing and murdering people! I just didn’t want to see you embarrassed–ANGEL!” he yelped as Aziraphale shook him (but never, Crowley noticed, wavered in his grip; not once).

“Consecrated. Ground. Crowley.”

“Imminent. Discorporation. Aziraphale,” Crowley snapped back.

Aziraphale refused to put Crowley down through the rest of the conversation. 

Crowley never bothered to ask.

SOMEONE DID THE THING!!!!

once the church has been blown to smitherins is crowley still being held by aziraphale ?

#crowley’s love language is acts of service

I’m screaming omg.

a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay

neville: *messes up his potion*

gordon ramsay: *holds neville between two slices of bread* what are you

neville: an idiot sandwich

no no no!

Imagine that this is Gordon Ramsay a la Masterchef Junior

Neville: *messes up the potion, realizes it, starts crying quietly*

GR: What’s going on?

Neville: *explains how he messed up*

GR: Oh gosh okay…we can fix this, don’t cry, see, it’s fine now? Just be more careful when you’re adding the Newt’s eyes, all right? Drop them in gently. There we go. No more tears.

Neville: *giggles wetly, wiping eyes*

Yes, he only screams when he’s dealing with people that claim to know what they’re doing and clearly dont, when he’s teaching he’s very kind and patient because they’re still learning.

He’d probably do the bread thing to Malfoy.

nononononono. I get that Malfoy is a bit of a twat, but he’s still a kid. It’d be the teachers fucking up that he’d have trouble with.

Ramsay: All you had to do was treat it with a fucking Beozar! 

Slughorn: It was a stressfu-

Ramsay: How long have you been teaching potions?!

or

Ramsay: So you’re going to raise this boy SPECIFICALLY so he can die as part of your twisted little scheme? 

Dumbledore: It’s for the greater good, professor. 

Ramsay: The greater fucking good?! *holds two slices of bread either side of dumbledoor’s face* What are you? 

Dumbledore: Am I, per chance, an idiot sandwich? 

Ramsay: Yes, you fucking are. 

Okay, now I can reblog it!

@marauders4evr

Fantastic!

@alrightanakin

I’m in love

I MUST HAVE REBLOGGED A THOUSAND TIMESSSS

My favorite Gordon Ramsey moment is from the latest season of Master Chef Jr.

Gordon had run in to help a group of struggling kids with a team challenge and one of the older kids, a 12 year old boy, wasn’t passing attention while taking a pan out of the oven and not only spilled all the food but scalded Gordon.

It’s clear Gordon’s leg is in pain. He’s been badly burned without warning. But he doesn’t scream. He doesn’t yell, not even in pain, and he doesn’t go off on the child who is now frozen in fear. He calmly tells the child to set the pan down and to close the oven, safety first. Then tells him to go restart the food he was making, calm instructions.

My husband and I grew up in abusive homes where any mistake meant parents getting angry (my husband is terrified of spills or broken glasses because that meant beatings growing up, for me, anything going wrong, that could upset my mother, even if it wasn’t my fault meant screaming and emotional abuse).

I didn’t know someone could be so calm. That someone could not get angry, and put aside what they’re feeling (in this case a lot of physical pain) and not take it out on those around them, even when someone around them had messed up, because that person is a child.

Gordon Ramsey is a survivor of child abuse himself and as an adult, the most non-abusive person ever when it comes to kids.

im going to cry can gordon ramsey be my parent this sound so beautiful

Please take a moment to picture Gordon Ramsay taking over Potions when Snape becomes the DADA professor (instead of Slughorn) and not only being horrified when he realizes how terrified the students are that he’ll verbally abuse them when they mess up in Potions class but when he overhears how Snape treats students. Like can you IMAGINE the level of RAGE and CONTEMPT that Ramsay would harbor towards Snape? The asshat wouldn’t have made it to the end of HBP. Ramsay would’ve hexed his ass to kingdom come.

Rebloging ALL of this because Chef Ramsay is THE MAN!

-HC

Chef Ramsay would have become the kids’ favourite teacher and you can’t take that away from me.

Imagine him dealing with Umbridge

Every time I reblog this post, I swear to God, it only gets better.

Yeah, that’s usually how people responded to seeing them in the Bible…

There’s a good reason why angels’ standard greeting is ‘Do not be afraid’.

I used to listen to this radio show and one thing I remember because it was so funny was a Christmas special where an angel showed up to tell the shepherds about the birth of Christ.  The conversations went:

Angel: “FEAR NOT.”

Shepherds: *screaming*

Angel: “I SAID FEAR NOT.”

Shepherds: *screaming LOUDER*

Angel: “WHAT PART OF FEAR NOT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING?”

So demons are fallen angels but they don’t look scary because they’re fallen, that’s just what all angels look like…

Maybe that’s why so many Christians see visions of Saints or the Virgin Mary instead…like Jesus is all…no, no see being human made me realize sending Angels might not be the best idea. I don’t know if humans can handle this. So I’m gonna just send mom

@fem-deanwinchester

I’M GONNA JUST SEND MOM

God: The humans are scared.

Mary: Fine. I’m on it.

Jesus: It’s either Mom or the thousand eyed flaming wheel, Dad, do you really think the humans are gonna be chill with that when they’re terrified of spiders already?

God: Hey now, some of those spiders eat birds.

Jesus: …Dad…

God: …To be fair, Australian wildlife was my dark creation phase.

Australian wildlife was my dark creation phase

This is my new favorite post

What we’ve seen of the Iceberg Lounge so far

x x x 

Oswald and Ed are both guilty *shoves Barnes aside* in the wrong. Oswald should not have killed Ed’s girlfriend out of jealousy and lied to his face about it. Ed should not have abused Oswald’s memory of his father or shot him while he was begging for Ed to recognize how much he loved him. Both are villains and both have done really terrible things to each other. However, it is clear that Oswald still loves Ed. And I’ve been convinced from the start that Ed loved him back, but never wanted to admit/accept it. (Great post about that here.) 

Now we have ice cube Eddie. It’d be great if Oswald is the one who eventually thaws him out, maybe he needs him for a scheme. I don’t think Ed’s going to be defrosted and ask Oswald for forgiveness. He is probably going to be mad, but I also think he’s fascinated that Oswald outsmarted him so flawlessly. In the finale he realized Oswald really is the only one who sees him. I think he’s going to be upset that he still doesn’t know who he is since he built this persona on a lie, that’s going to be something he needs to work through.

Oswald hopefully is going to spend some time with frozen Ed and realize that he played a big part in the destruction of their friendship. He has never apologized for killing that plant Isabella. 

 What I would like for them is an actual conversation where they apologize for being so shitty to each other so they can move forward. I feel like this kind of conversation could lead to them reminiscing about their past and maybe finally an admission of love from Ed.    

Anyways, my hope is for them to realize how powerful they are together. However Ed gets out of his ice prison, I hope they move back towards friendship. These two need a real heart-to-heart conversation, it should be emotional, there is still so much unresolved between them. 

And THEN they are ready to become the murder husbands they’ve always been destined to be.

Gotham Writers, we survived “love is weakness.” Now give us “love is power.” 

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING

FUUUUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

magnus and alec being soft boyfriends™:

for @magswoods 

I have the Tumblr equivalent of cleaning supplies...

a mass tag replacer

a way to find ALL of the tags you’ve ever used (mostly?)

and a way to find untagged posts

There will be some seriously intense organizing here soon.

never forget

Slams my hands down

No one can take away demisexual Oswald Cobblepot from me. ✌

@endless-nygmobblepot @freckledandspectacled

demisexual oswald is unavoidable

Gotham Parallels

“Fascinating”

Edward Nygma: Season 1 Episode 5 Oswald Cobblepot: Season 3 Episode 17

I don't give a damn if I'm your villain (Franz Ferdinand – I'm Your Villain)

Better late than never

This video is very relevant again. Bless.

Edward Nygma is bisexual, pass it on.