welcome to night vale but i've never listened to it

I walk into the Maggots Lounge and am immediately informed that this post is an absolute necessity so here we are. I'm not sure what's happening.

Tagging. Um. I forgot all your tags. I'll just send this post in the maggots lounge. DONT LOOK AT TH--

ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD

THUS IS AMAZING ASMI THANK YOU

polaris: a song for aziraphale, crowley, and you

I am so goddamn excited to share this with the fandom. So, backstory, in 2022 I wrote a song called Polaris (the North Star) for a character of mine who loves the stars, for my then-best friend and for myself. To remind us that the stars don't serve a purpose, really, why should we? All that matters is we exist, and that's enough.

Of course, now that song reminds me intensely of Good Omens. Crowley as an angel, and their story in general. I could picture Aziraphale saying those words to Crowley. So I rerecorded it. It was originally just my voice and a guitar riff.

But then the fucking amazingly talented @good-usernames-were-taken, Valerie, entered the scene and just transformed the whole goddamn song with her backing instrumentals and her editing and I LOVE YOU VALERIE THANK YOU THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

This has been in the works since this month started. So, finally now she and I present to you... Polaris.

The lyrics are below the cut. I did make two changes to the original ones, for Aziraphale and Crowley... in the last refrain, I changed Go to bed to Come to bed, and You're so much more, so much more than enough now to We're so much more, so much than enough now :")

I love you all, you are enough. So much more than enough.

sobbing that beautiful... i dont have the words

YES OK YAY THEY ALSO HAVE TRANSCRIPTS SO YOU CAN READ ALONG IF YOU NEED IT AND THEY ARE REALLY FUNNY AS WELL AND ITS SO GOOD

pt XVII good omens explained but im in tears at 3:30 am and on sleep meds

Oh it's been a while since we did one of these innit what was the last tine? Jan? Well the Mascot is back with a part XVII because this fandom valentine's day posts wrecked me emotionally and i took the usual sleep meds (we all know how that goes) so I'm here to make bad decisions y;all. Ignore all types or mistakes im not responsible for anything eber it's all the metatron's fault.

yay all done now asleep jno bepop ya yes blruryry my meds packet looks lime a furry opposoum

anyway

so fucking tired i cannot see what im typing

@howmanyholesinswisscheese help

posting without rsding it through awahoooooooooooooooo

Jesus christ asmi... sleep well dear get some good rest je t'aime

alright good omens mascot here time to bake a wedding cake for our favourite fools

So due to Reasons I'm currently hyperfixated on designing a wedding dress for Crowley (the post is here, though what started as a fashion design post has currently devolved into a soap opera and murder) and @queermarzipan showed me the infamous tumblr vanilla extract post so.

Let's see if we're better at baking than that, maggots, this is for Aziraphale and Crowley do nOT fuck this up (I say as I google cake ingredients because i am clueless):

[EDIT AGAIN: AS OFFICIAL GOOD OMENS MASCOT, I LAY A CURSE ON THIS POLL. THE MORE VANILLA EXTRACT, THE LONGER WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR SEASON 3.]

oh God that's a very... flavorful cake uhhhh welp we tried

Hey maggots of mine, good omens mascot here, so you know how we're all brainrotted and every single song is now ineffable spouses coded?

So i was thinking about that, and I'd made a playlist for Crowley on spotify (okay fine two playlists) and it was called Fallen Angel, with songs that fit that vibe. like Take Me to Church, Devil's Backbone, Hallelujah etc.

And I wanted to sort of. Um. Mash them up together? Except I have zero clue how to do that, so instead I kind of covered them? Like I sang them in the way that I'd wanted to mash them up? (I'm so terrible at explaining things, I know that's why you all kidnapped me, but still)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I want to like put the audio here but my NErvEs have failed me for some reason (WHICH IS STUPID BTW I LOVE POSTING MY RANDOM SHIT) so I need encouragement first someone please just yell at me to do it--

PLEASE DO IT ASMI I REALLY WANNA HEAR THAT!!!!

alright good omens mascot here time to bake a wedding cake for our favourite fools

So due to Reasons I'm currently hyperfixated on designing a wedding dress for Crowley (the post is here, though what started as a fashion design post has currently devolved into a soap opera and murder) and @queermarzipan showed me the infamous tumblr vanilla extract post so.

Let's see if we're better at baking than that, maggots, this is for Aziraphale and Crowley do nOT fuck this up (I say as I google cake ingredients because i am clueless):

uhhh yum?

a letter from crowley, post s2 (which I haven't watched)

Disclaimer from your beloved fandom mascot: I haven't watched season 2, or really even the kiss scene, just parts of it like flashes from edits, and I figured that Aziraphale gets an offer to go with Crowley to heaven and Crowley doesn't accept it. So I could be entirely wrong about the tone of what happened and how the season actually ends and their feelings regarding it. But that's never stopped me before and it won't now, so have this letter.

Angel

Aziraphale

Dear Aziraphale,

I'm throwing this into the rubbish bin as soon as I'm done writing it, just so you know. I have a feeling it's going to go just horribly sentimental, and I don't do sentimental, I'm a demon, for heaven's hell's oh for something's sake. I don't do nice.

I tried to, though, for you. I really did try this is a stupid exercise why am I writing this, I'm beginning to remind myself of a lady in what was it? 1790, or nearish, she was bloody besotted with a gentleman, wrote letters to him every night and never posted them. Could have told her he didn't fancy women, but that's not really my area, is it, I'm meant to cause chaos and. I'm rambling.

Look. Angel. Aziraphale. That kiss What we did What I did That kiss. That wasn't how I meant it to go. Not that I'd been imagining it before. Yes I'm bloody lying, what did you expect?

I was desperate. And I knew I'd lost you the second you started going on about talking about blabbering about you said you'd accepted their offer. It was a foolish attempt to make you stay. But I keep being a fool, don't I, I keep being a bloody fool and only when it comes to you, you insufferable and I don't know what to do anymore, alright?

I'm sure you had your reasons and I'm sure they were very noble and very, uh, very virtuous and sensible. Why else would you just throw away But if you didn't, if they've tricked you again, I hate myself for knowing that even after everything I'd storm heaven the second you asked.

That's all. Just thought I'd write that down. You idiot.

I really am throwing this away. But I'll sign it off anyway.

Yours, Crowley

Anthony J Crowley

bloody hell asmi are you sure you havent seen the entire show??? ive seen it 4-5 times and i couldnt get anything even close to as good as that!?

candid photo of me protecting crowley from neil gaiman in S1 and S2

I'M THE GOOD OMENS MASCOT AND HE IS NOT HURTING MY BABY. YES I'M STILL PROCRASTINATING ON PT IX OF MY GOOD OMENS SAGA, OK. I'M THINKING ABOUT CROWLEY AND HOW NO ONE EVER COMFORTS HIM. DON'T HURT HIM, @neil-gaiman CROWLEY IS MY 6000 YEAR OLD BABY.

SO I DREW THIS ART OF ME CRUSHING CROWLEY (yes he looks a bit alarmed, it's fine, I'm just squishing him a bit too hard. he'll thank me when he knows what pain this entire fandom is putting him through with headcanons and fics and the bloody canon itself). And no that totally isn't any dried blood on my sweatshirt from any murders.

good omens mascot: the bloodline of confusion

Assorted maggots, I know you know I'm a dumbass. It's a given, really. But a lot of y'all were scandalised when I didn't know who Terry Pratchett was. Let me raise you one better.

Today I met my cousin. I gave her the Good Omens saga to read, from Pt I to Pt III. The line she found the most shocking was, "Terry Pratchett is a guy." And not for the reasons you'd think.

So it turns out, my dear cousin, blood of mine, spent her life until today thinking Terry Pratchett is a kindly old woman.

She thought he looked something like Sudha Murty. For those of you who don't know her, she's the mother-in-law of Rishi Sunak, if that bloke still is the PM of Britain, idk they seem to be going through a lot of them really fast. Are you okay, Britain? Have a photo of her...

THIS. IS WHAT MY COUSIN. THOUGHT SIR TERRY PRATCHETT. LOOKED LIKE.

but THAT'S NOT ALL, DEAR MAGGOTS.

My cousin... looked at the cover design and typefaces of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's books. She felt they were similar.

So today, she hit me with the world-shattering, eyeball-extracting, brain-melting news that till today, she thought Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett were married. Because of their cover design fonts.

So really, nothing I ever do can upstage this. She thought Terry Pratchett was a kindly old lady who was married to Neil Gaiman because of title fonts.

Make of this what you will.