One hour (less than) within the maintenance lockdown and this hell happened already, how are we feeling y'all?

@queermarzipan @lxvenderjewel @ivory--raven @styx142 @myfranticscribbles @empressumbreon @frogs-go-ribbit @cawdra @thearoacemess @goodomensduh @sounds-void-fishy @arkytiorlecter @random-doctor-on-the-internet @apophid-I-eat-everything @harbinger-of-existential-dread @an-ace-on-the-case @goblin-named-sam @1800ineedshelp @chaoticgenderflood @ivory--raven @aroaceblackhole @three-smiles-and-a-unicorn @coppicegate @zonzolik @falling-raine @dashoulinas-fandom-dump @koboldkatalyst @arkytiorlecter @friday-im-in-love-with-crowley @good-usernames-were-taken @weirdly-specific-but-ok (tell me if I forgot anyone)

Someone tell me if I forgot to put something of that talk here, it's all remarkable tbh, pure gold.

jfc its 20 hours yall /lh

im-

I'd also like to see it as a David Attenborough nature documentary.

Here we see the wild Asmi... I may need to write some of this...

OH I'M WILD BABYGIRL I'M WILD IT'S ALL THE RED BULL BUT MAINLY THE BRAINROT

I WANT THAT GODDAMN DOCUMENTARY NOW WTF

Oh a documentary on the mascot fanlore?? 👀 (funny that you said there would never be a Good Omens Mascot fanfic Asmi 😂)

IT'S NOT FANFIC OKAY IT'S A DOCUMENTARY OF THE DOWNFALL OF ONE MASCOT. THIS PICTURE REMAINS TRUE.

THERE CANNOT BE FANFIC IF THERE IS NO FANDOM. I DO NOT HAVE A FANDOM. WHY WOULD ANYONE BE A FAN OF ME WTF I'M UNHINGED.

You have no idea Asmi, YOU ARE MANIFESTING IT.

Everytime you post that image it gets faster

Dark forces are working in mysterious ways

Everyday it's a-getting closer

if this gets 3k notes WE'LL OFFCIALLY HAVE CREATED A FANDOM GO

moots, maggots,countrymen,

ITS TIME TO GIVE ASMI THE FANDOM HE DOES'NT KNOW HE HAS

@thatsthetea0sis @nastasya--filippovna @mystic-mae @catre33 @turtleneck-crowley @phoen1xr0se @marauderingpaige @captainspectrumreportingforduty @berry-that-is-elder @hello7there @mysticaleyeliner @glitterypin @glaxyjellyfish @glaxyjellyfish @genea-myers @weasleywrinkles @whim-of-the-universe @wenslidale @hoarder-of-dragons @falling-raine @fallenandwontgetup @idk-somethingay @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @ichangenameseveryfiveseconds @probablyautism and my moot's moots(aka second cuzzies)

I HAVE NAMED MORE MUTUALS AND OTHER BELOVED BLOGS THEN I COULD EVER REMEMBER NOW SPREAD THE WORD LOVS

@marcusgnars-hive-mind @techsharkie @pallweople @touch-starved-lurker @treasure-goblin @decembrrrrrr :3

I have no clue what good omens is nor do I know these people but I've been tagged so I'm contributing

MAGGOTS THIS IS CHEATING EXCOOS ME THIS POOR PERSON I'M SORRY

BUT ALSO WATCH GOOD OMENS, POOR PERSON WHO GOT DRAGGED INTO THIS BS

I have loudly been saying Asmi has a fandom. Just give in Asmi. GIVE UP AND GIVE IN YOU HAVE A FANDOM AND NOW AN UPCOMING FANFIC

IT DOESNT GET ANYMORE FANDOMY THAN THAT

I DO NOT HAVE A FANDOM AND Y'ALL ARE CHEATING BY DRAGGING INNOCENT PEOPLE INTO THIS MESS. I'M RAISING THE GODDAMN BAR SINCE YOU'RE NOT PLAYING FAIR.

IF THIS POST GETS 10K NOTES I WILL NOT ONLY LIE AND SAY I HAVE A FANDOM BUT I'LL START A GODDAMN YOUTUBE CHANNEL PODCAST OF INSANITY, ADOPT THREE PLANTS AND NAME THEM CROWLEY, ADAM AND AZIRAPHALE, SHARE THE BOOK I'M WRITING, AND FUCKING *STRUGGLES TO THINK* RIGHT YES DYE MY HAIR RED IN HONOUR OF CROWLEY

GOOD LUCK AHAHAHAHA SUCKERS THIS AIN'T HAPPENING THIS IS HILARIOUS YOUR HUBRIS WILL BRING YOU DOWN

RIGHT FUCK CLEANING MY ROOM OKAY BYE

I APPRECIATE THE CONCERN AND I AGREE WITH YOU ENTIRELY BUT IN THIS CASE DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I'M NOT BOTHERED AT ALL, WHAT'S CONCERNING ME IS THIS IMAGINARY FANDOM PEOPLE THINK I HAVE Y'ALL ARE MY CRAZY KIDNAPPER FAMILY NOT FANS.

THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS GETTING EVEN TO 1K LMFAOOOOOOO YOU ALL ARE GOING TO CRASH AND BURN AND I WILL BE SO SMUG.

IT'S AT LIKE 131 RN AND I CONTRIBUTED A LOT ACCIDENTALLY BY ARGUING OOPS. I WILL SHUT UP AND WATCH SMUGLY NOW. HAH.

so fucking smug @hoarder-of-dragons @arkytiorlecter AHAHAHAHAHAH fools

I WILL BREED 10K SOLDIERS TO MARCH ON AND GET THIS POST TO 10K IF I HAVE TO ALSO HAHA YOU FOOL WOU HAVE JUST LED US TO THE VERY PATH THAT YOU WILL DIE ON, WHILE YOU CLUTCH YOUR LAST BIT OF SANITY LEFT WHILE WE DRAG YOU TO GRAVE YOU HAVE MADE WHEN YOU FIRST ENTERED THIS SITE (AND FANDOM)

THAT DOESN'T COUNT I'M AFRAID NOW CAN YOU PLEASE GO TO SLEEP

Breaking news: Asmi also known as the Mascot™ of the Good Omens Fandom (also goes by Maggot King) has now somehow disabled replies? (man idk how inetrent works )

He has another thing coming, for opposing the most fearsome group of humans(?) known to mankind... THE MAGGOTS

FIRST OF ALL, I DID NOT DISABLE REPLIES, DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW HOW TO OPERATE THIS HELLSITE? THE REPLIES LOOK FINE TO ME. THIS IS BETWEEN YOU, TUMBLR AND GOD.

SECOND OF ALL NO ONE HAS EVER USED MAGGOT KING. AND NO ONE EVER WILL.

THIRD OF ALL PRINCE IS SEXIER THAN KING OK.

FOURTH AND MOST IMPORTANTLY:

DO NOT DO THIS DO NOT PUT THIS ON ME I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHILD OF THE MAGGOTS I AM NOT AN INFLUENCER I AM NOT AN ENABLER JUST DO NOT GO SLEEP

SOMETHING IS STOPPING ME FROM REPLYING THEN!

GOD, I WILL HAVE WORDS WITH YOU LATER FOR YOU HAVE FORSAKEN ME TOO MANY TIMES THIS YEAR

Secondly, I shall now take the moment to bestow upon thee, the crown of Maggots™️ (not to be confused with The crown filled with Maggots, that's just used for punishing Aziraphale haters)

THIRDLY FINE, I BESTOW UPON THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE PRINCE OF MAGGOTS, HERE TO OVER SEE ALL HIS DUTIES AND POSSIBLY HAVE HOMOEROTIC TENSION WITH HIS MANSERVANT (That later historians will call as just "bromance")

AND FOURTHLY

I shall respect your wishes >:D

NO THERE WAS THAT WAS NO THAT WAS TWO SEPARATE SENTENCES FUCK MY LIFE THAT JUST DO NOT. AND THEN GO SLEEP. NO.

ALSO SOMEONE IN THE REPLIES ISN'T ABLE TO REBLOG AHAHAHA TUMBLR LITERALLY BROKE THIS POST BECAUSE I'M SO RIGHT

DO NOT GIVE THIS NOTES TUMBLR DO YOU WANT THOSE UNBORN/UNADOPTED PLANTS TO HAVE A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH (BEING RAISED BY ME)

Someone tag some gimmick blogs real quick I don’t know very many

DO NOT TAG GIMMICK BLOGS EVERYONE WHO GIVES THIS NOTES IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE NEAR-DEATHS OF THREE PLANTS WHAT WOULD CROWLEY SAY

IM GONNA SHUT UP AND NOT GIVE THIS MORE NOTES I ALREADY FUCKED UP

Haha, I love that asmi just singlehandedly made the post get like 10 notes by just quote-rb to respond, amazing, true genius, totally Crowley-coded, servant of evil, anyways, I shall give this post notes too, for the funsies :)

YOU DELETED IT DIDNT YOU. THE DEADLINE WARNING. IT WAS YOU. I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING MY MIND WITH THE ERRORS. FUCKING CHRIST.

HERE. THIS RULE STANDS. YOU WERE TOO LATE.

FOOLS GOOD LUCK. YOU HAVE UNTIL 4:41 AM IST 22 FEBRUARY 2024 THE YEAR OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR OF WHOM YOU CAN BE TOLD IN THE REPLIES, WHICH HAS THE GODDAMN BIBLE IN IT. I'M LEAVING NOW FROM THIS POST I SEE YOU ALL TRYING TO DRAG ME HERE.

CMON PEOPLE WE CAN DO OT

pt XVII good omens explained but im in tears at 3:30 am and on sleep meds

Oh it's been a while since we did one of these innit what was the last tine? Jan? Well the Mascot is back with a part XVII because this fandom valentine's day posts wrecked me emotionally and i took the usual sleep meds (we all know how that goes) so I'm here to make bad decisions y;all. Ignore all types or mistakes im not responsible for anything eber it's all the metatron's fault.

yay all done now asleep jno bepop ya yes blruryry my meds packet looks lime a furry opposoum

anyway

so fucking tired i cannot see what im typing

@howmanyholesinswisscheese help

posting without rsding it through awahoooooooooooooooo

Jesus christ asmi... sleep well dear get some good rest je t'aime

happy ineffable valentine's day, loves.

Happy Valentine's Day, maggots of mine :") I made this card for you all.

The song The Book of Love by Peter Gabriel was chosen for the Aziraphale and Crowley's Heavenly Playlist by Neil.

And, well... tell me those aren't the most beautiful lyrics for them ever.

The book of life? The book of love. Written very long ago... before the beginning. Look at them. Look at you. Gorgeous.

So here's wishing you all a very ineffable Valentine's Day, the first one I've looked forward to in four years. And it's because of our two beloved idiots and because of you all.

All kinds of love, romantic, platonic, aesthetic, familial. For the world, for your favourite humans, for your pets, for the universe, for the stars, for stories.

And if you don't feel love, that's perfectly valid, too. Have a beautiful day all the same.

I love you all, so ineffably much, it's insane.

Asmi

aldkdkfjfkfjsksn I love you so much asmi and the wonderful family you've created here it's been so much fun to interact with you and everyone else here! thank you for everything you've done for all of us, you have made a wonderful fandom and made us laugh on hard days and I can't express how beautiful your creations are and how you have inspired me, and to anyone else who reads this, even if youve never seen me before I love you, I hope you have an amazing day.

thank you asmi je t'aime

costggots be honest would you commit crimes for me

@weirdly-specific-but-ok look, sweetie! You have a group of rabidly loyal, unhinged maggots at your back!

what

Apologies Costco, was hijacking this over to the Good Omens fandom. The not making sense bit is totally on me. I haven't known you long enough to commit crimes for you, yet.

I feel so bad for all the blogs that you maggots have hijacked it's ineffable really. Hello OP, I'm sorry, I'm the Good Omens Mascot and my maggots are... well, I love them but they're undeniably unhinged. They have to be. I am the most unhinged of all.

There's no need to commit crimes yet, maggots.

im about to commit a crime.

oops. it's okay, op, would you like to join the maggots? it's very fun here, we have my shit knowledge of geography, cocoa, and a predisposition to eat tin cans. i was also kidnapped. but it's fun here I swear!

Come join the chaos OP! You'll like it I promise!

@weirdly-specific-but-ok Asmi how can you reblog posts like this calling us your maggots bUT THEN DENYING THAT YOU HAVE A FANDOM???? ASMI YOU HAVE A FANDOM!! 😠

Someone back me up here 😂

EXACTLY. ASMI PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE FANDOMS ARE NOT ABLE TO MAKE THEIR FANDOMS SWOOP UPON RANDOM POSTS LMAO

jesus christ

I DON'T HAVE A FAND--why do you all keep hijacking random posts with this argument omg this is hilarious. I reblogged this because @arkytiorlecter said I have a group of maggots at my back, which is true! We're family! No fandom in sight. Nobody say famdom or I think poor OP will actually die.

hey OP i don't know you but it seems our paths crossed on your post, I feel bad, may I offer an apology dance?

*whispers* he totally has a fandom don't listen to what he's saying also sorry for hijacking your post

Yes. This is Neil Gaiman. Our Dad. Hello Dad.

And i drew a bônus for good luck to our S3.

I'M UTTERLY DECEASED. This is a work of art. I will never regret being kidnapped adopted by this fandom. My irl father might suck, but now I have more internet parents that I can count, plus several siblings, wine aunts, and assorted cousins and mysterious relatives. And @neil-gaiman, it appears. His parenting strategy with y'all is very interesting.

Oh, Neil Gaiman. (/affectionate.) He gives me what I want and then he breaks my heart. My friends think I've lost it.

You all concern me. Deeply. And that's saying something, because I'm usually the most concerning one in any given situation. But "Oh, Neil Gaiman /affectionate he gives me what I want and then he breaks my heart" is not something I thought I would see land in my notifications.

I would arrange for an appointment with my therapist for all of you, but like I said before, they joined tumblr because Neil was on it, and then didn't follow him because they didn't feel worthy of following him. I do not think they are qualified to deal with this situation.

I am offering vague head-pats of comfort. Pat pat.

Hey Asmi you forgot to add something to your list of internet family.

You now have your very own fandom too! 😀

I DO NOT HAVE A FANDOM THERE IS NO FANDOM TO BE HAD I DO NOT HAVE FANS I SEE YOU LAUGHING AT ME

This is such sibling behaviour one might believe we are all blood-related siblings

(I suppose its enough if were all Neil's children)

Anything works as long as we all can agree I do not have a fandom I'll agree to anything else

but you do have a fandom

Yes. This is Neil Gaiman. Our Dad. Hello Dad.

And i drew a bônus for good luck to our S3.

I'M UTTERLY DECEASED. This is a work of art. I will never regret being kidnapped adopted by this fandom. My irl father might suck, but now I have more internet parents that I can count, plus several siblings, wine aunts, and assorted cousins and mysterious relatives. And @neil-gaiman, it appears. His parenting strategy with y'all is very interesting.

Oh, Neil Gaiman. (/affectionate.) He gives me what I want and then he breaks my heart. My friends think I've lost it.

You all concern me. Deeply. And that's saying something, because I'm usually the most concerning one in any given situation. But "Oh, Neil Gaiman /affectionate he gives me what I want and then he breaks my heart" is not something I thought I would see land in my notifications.

I would arrange for an appointment with my therapist for all of you, but like I said before, they joined tumblr because Neil was on it, and then didn't follow him because they didn't feel worthy of following him. I do not think they are qualified to deal with this situation.

I am offering vague head-pats of comfort. Pat pat.

Hey Asmi you forgot to add something to your list of internet family.

You now have your very own fandom too! 😀

I DO NOT HAVE A FANDOM THERE IS NO FANDOM TO BE HAD I DO NOT HAVE FANS I SEE YOU LAUGHING AT ME

Am I not your fan?

YOU'RE A MAGGOT YOU'RE FAMILY

OnlyFam

IT'S FOUR IN THE MORNING WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT NOW I HAVE THE URGE TO BURST INTO HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER

i was trying to drink water because this fandom keeps telling me to stay hydrated and now i can't take a sip because I'll actually choke and die

It's 4 am for YOU. It's 4 PM for me, this is prime shenanigans time

I am Afraid of what you maggots are capable of doing

It's 5:40pm here baby brother! I'm happy to be a bad infl- I mean, voice of reason...

ASMI FANDOM IS NOT A TAG STOP MAKING IT A TAG I'VE SEEN AT LEAST TWO OF YOU USE IT WHICH IS TWO TOO MANY

we will never stop you should know this by now dear