Welcome to whatever this is

Apropos of (almost) nothing: I'm the kind of pedant who dislikes calling tentacle porn "tentacle porn" not because I think it's aberrant but because, 98% of the time, what's being depicted are octoform arms or tendrils, not tentacles. Tentacles are defined by the clubbed ends, which are the only part that have suckers. If it's tapered and has suckers all the way down, it's an octoform arm; if it has no suckers at all, it's a tendril.

You're welcome.

This site has gotta be the weirdest way to learn things

new knowledge for me and all my fellow mobster fuckers dropped

Eh, boss. We nose you and Tony are ya know, badda boom, but I thinks ya made a typo dar.

Gawd damn it, Frankie. This is what I get for trying to type with these tentacle thumbs.

in tears rn

every so often this starts circulating again and every time i remember that people tried to come for me for “spreading medical misinformation” with this post

Video transcript:

Person 1: Did you know that employees are quitting instead of giving up work from home?

Person 2: So, as someone who was not able to work from home–um, I’m in a manufacturing facility, I, that’s not an option for me. I’m in this bitch right now on a Saturday. So, really not an option.

But. I wanna be really clear that we support y'all. The people that can work from home fucking should. Cause it’s better for us too. There’s less traffic, parking’s easier, uh, there’s just, there’s less stress in the whole world which benefits everybody.

People in this plant can work from home. And when they do, I can park outside easier. And I can still get up with them by calling their phones, emailing them or whatever.

This should be normal now. This should be normal. We were told it was the new normal and they tried to take us back. Fuck that shit. Work from if you can and quit if they won’t let you.

the real cancel culture is canceling every show after 1 season

HOBBES vs. TIGGER cage match TO THE DEATH say goodbye to your childhood because ONE! WILL!! DIE!!!!

Picturing two tiger plushies just kind of sitting there facing each other in Thunderdome

i am picturing it

Shipping a man in a canon het relationship with another man but I'm shaking my head the whole time so you know it's not out of misogynistic disregard for the woman character

i have a suggestion

lets hear out tumblr user isuggestpolyamory

Happy birthday to AO3 🎂🎉

Happy birthday to a platform that has contributed to so many positive aspects of my life: real life friends, online friends, global understanding, mental health, writing inspiration, career objectives, joy in a favorite hobby, self-esteem as a writer, and license to WRITE WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT.

•〰️•

Can I... a starving orphan... who is homeless... alone and unloved... perhaps trouble you for one small fish from that bucket? Please? -pathetic cough and helpless look-

Official Post of Massachusetts

Although Marvel hasn’t shied away from showing male butt cheeks — Hulk in “Thor: Ragnarok,” Thor in “Thor: Love and Thunder” — Hahn is the first woman to show her bare butt in a Marvel Studios project.

“Well, I came up with it,” Hahn explains to Variety.”

Images: Getty

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me

sometimes you do just have to lie to children.

If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”

If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.

So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”

Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.

See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.

you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.

You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter

[ID: tags: "#that wasn't a lie though the big ball did go night night #it went to the great night night that awaits us all" /end ID]

Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?

Genie: um

Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you’re willing, it’d be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that’s not cool, I’m perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.

Genie, now staring at me like I’m insane: ……okaaayyy?….

Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they’d really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.

Genie, just staring at me

Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.

people like op are the ones that get memorialized in folk tales for outwitting the devil

and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024

no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended

Heathers (1988) dir. Michael Lehmann