half agony, half hope

#!!!#hey that's me!#oh no that's a WIP btw #but thank you!#I am flailing and making incoherent noises!#art appreciation #mirrorofliterature

She held her breath, determined not to interrupt the remarkable occasion of Magnus voluntarily talking about his emotions.

From a beautiful story - if broken hearts were whole by @faejilly - this line is only one of many gems in a heartwarming and sweet narrative.

A story based on the show Shadowhunters, a soulmate au and malec centric.

#jilly answers #mirrorofliterature #on not writing

I'm falling back into malec again and I'm like 'yeah, I'll just re-read most of your work'. good place to start!

asdfjkglha thank you!

/Now if only I could manage to write more of it? (As I never really fell OUT of Malec, so you'd think there'd be more words somewhere... 😅😅😅)

#jilly replies #mirrorofliterature #shadowhunters adjacent #the unending WIP list of doom #wip memery

RE: WIP Game

@mirrorofliterature said: this is WONDERFUL I am very intrigued and also afraid (owl! alec? oh gosh the angst, the potion…)

OWL!ALEC is very ouchy, yes

It was originally just a small what-if ficlet but I couldn’t quite figure out how to frame it, and then it fit really nicely into a different WIP, but then that WIP got out of control and so then I pulled it out again, and now I occasionally look at all the mis-matched bits and say ouch both because of the content and because it’s a mess

😅🤣😭

#mirrorofliterature #writing memery #wip game #20 first lines #only not #jilly spam #on writing

WIP Game

so @mirrorofliterature tagged me in the truly lovely 20 First Lines meme, but I haven’t actually posted more than like four things since the last time I did that one, however many weeks/months/years ago that was, so I’m going to tweak it, and combine it with the WIP game that’s perennially wandering around.

Rules: Post the (title) and “first line” of all the files in your WIP folder. Let people send you an ask with the # that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it!

*Some of my numbers have multiple entries because they’re separate files but they’re supposed to be the same fic. Or were. Or might be. Or something like that.

Anyone who’s interested can feel free to either do this version or the usual title version and do please blame/tag me! (Normal Rules For Copy-Pasta if Desired: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs) and no way in all seven hells am I tagging 20-30+ people, SO: no pressure tagging: @arialerendeair @twistedsinews @shadoedseptmbr @leahazel & @elfyourmother but only if you’d like.

And behind a cut because I kept clipping more than just the first line because I’m weak and also sometimes my first line is legit kind of a paragraph. 😅

#assfjklghitywnx #i cannot even #thank you #you are too good for this world #clearly #I'm so glad you're in it anyway #mirrorofliterature #jilly answers #and blushes an unbecoming shade of pink #😅😅😅

I love your writing style; perhaps the fact that I've made five quote graphics makes that kind of obvious. also, the amount of joy I felt when you bookmarked my history shadowhunters series is probably unparalleled. anyway! keep on writing for you; you're doing wonderfully

The joy I feel when you quote-graphic something *I wrote* (look! My words!) is completely indescribable, so kudos to both of us! And thank you, this was very kind of you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

faejilly reblogged

#mirrorofliterature #art appreciation #quotation #shadowhunters #*gasp*#that's me!#shameless self promotion #thk u darling

He’s never seen Magnus so furious. He’s hiding it well; Jace doubts most people would be able to tell. He’s too stiff, too controlled, and while his magic isn’t visible, not really, Jace can feel it, pressure and heat in the air around him, like the waves of a mirage on an empty highway in the summer, swirling around Magnus until he looks like he might be a bit more than just half-demon.

Alec would probably say he looks half-angel, righteous and avenging.

Pretty words from ashes of angels by @faejilly.

faejilly reblogged

#shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #fic appreciation #mirrorofliterature

catch me when i fall | 7.3k | rated: t | malec fanfic | canon divergence: soul sword fix it | angst with a happy ending | alternatively: magnus and alec stay together, but magnus still can’t catch a break

When Magnus Bane walks into Alec Lightwood’s office on one frosty fall night, fresh from a conference about a particular world-destroying lie-detector, the Damocles sword doesn’t drop onto their heads.

Or: Robert Lightwood doesn’t tell Alec about the Soul Sword, and things change. Magnus and Alec stay together. Yet -

How much more does he have to lose - how much more does he have to suffer - before he’s finally left alone?

In the perpetual, lonely silence filling his home, Magnus Bane falls to his knees, and cries.

Written for the 2020 @malecdiscordserver Mini Bang and betad by Lyss.

Enjoy!

#oranges8hands #jilly replies #jadesabre301 #namm-y #mirrorofliterature #princess-shepherdess #my sh rambling #a little bit

@oranges8hands replied to your post “POV and S3 canon divergence”

I'm so excited for this!

thanks!

@oranges8hands replied to your post “NEXT and s3 canon divergence”

wait is this the one with magnus with amnesia? cause I am super looking forward to that (if you're still writing it. I don't actually know when the post I saw on it was from, I kind of went through your whole sh backlog at one time. hi btw)

HELLO

and yes it is an amnesia!fic and also the sequel to a thing and also a s3 rewrite and there is weird parabatai bond stuff and the Owl is Different But Still Terrible (and I’m still figuring out my adjustments for Raphael & Heidi & Maia & Heavenly Fire & etc.) it got a lot more complicated than I intended which is why it has not actually been finished yet 😅

@jadesabre301 replied to your post “I am super stuck on this thing I’m writing because I am so goddamned...”

I FEEL YOU SO HARD

me: okay now we're happy

shepard and kaidan: JUST KIDDING I GOT SAD AGAIN

me: WILL YOU

THEY WILL NOT

they will never

writing is the worst jade, why do we keep doing this to ourselves?

@namm-y replied to your post “What do you think jaces reaction would be if Alec chose to be...”

Really interesting points. I like what you mean

why thank you <3

@mirrorofliterature replied to your post “What do you think jaces reaction would be if Alec chose to be...”

you've hit the nail on the head. I don't think Alec would choose to be immortal, personally, and I'm kind of neutral on the whole mortal/immortal debate anyway, but I adore fics where Alec accidentally becomes immortal because it feels so much more realistic (and angsty); a particular favourite of mine is The Moon Rabbit by thealmostrhetoricalquestion.

I do like that one, yes.

@princess-shepherdess replied to your post “*Jace is, I think it’s fair to say, really bad at self-assessment*...”

I was initially iffy about Alec going out of his way to make sure his siblings wouldn’t face consequences as an explanation. Maybe because it’s really harsh on Jace and Izzy. Then I've remembered that in 1x05 Alec practically loses his job while his siblings escape their version of ichor duties as a punishment. Yet it doesn’t really alarm anyone. Everyone takes it as normal.

I think it’s slightly less harsh on Jace and Izzy if I think about it that way?

Because, it makes sense to me that when they were all children Alec shouldered the consequences that he thought were unfair (or that would hurt them more than they hurt him, because Izzy and Maryse clearly have a worse relationship, because Jace was abused before and reacts to things differently, etc. etc.) and that was admirable in a lot of ways, but only works if they don’t know.

Now. This is not a long-term solution of course, but by the time he realizes he’s done it they don’t realize how much he’s taken on himself and he doesn’t know how to stop.

And Maryse and Robert don’t notice for a lot of reasons, and aren’t there enough either, and Hodge is their trainer and their friend but not their parent, so there’s no one else to help him stop, or to help Jace & Izzy see what he’s doing and take their share back.

#silver-latin-and-salt #jilly replies #mirrorofliterature #twistedsinews #moononmyfloor #firstaudrina #vellesian

@silver-latin-and-salt replied to your post “Why do you dislike the Alicante storyline?”

I think you make a good point here (and I ignore the canon timeline whenever possible, lmao) - but I also have a headcanon for Alec's promotion. The attack on Alicante was pretty devastating, right? Maybe it killed a whole bunch of senior, more experienced Shadowhunters - which accelerates the promotion of more minor players like Alec. (Sort of like 'Designated Survivor', or 'Johnny English' in a more lighthearted example, aha.)

oh yeah, you can definitely make it work, and that makes a lot of sense. they’re desperate for his reputation but also they just need a god-damned warm body to put in the chair

I just... don’t want to make it work? 🤷‍♀️ (New York City is their home, at least in my head. I refuse to move them too soon.) *laughs*

@mirrorofliterature replied to your post “here's some meta for you to chew on: Robert values conforming to...”

oh, interesting! no, there wasn't supposed to be a part two, character limit. I'm glad that our analysises match! I'm trying to write Robert accurately and that's difficult when he's so often portrayed as an outright villain.

He is, in the show, useless, but not evil. Banal, perhaps?

It’s pretty fun to write him as evil, but that is, generally, kind of a cop-out. (But if your story’s about something else, he’s a handy villain? No one likes him enough to complain or refuse to buy into the premise. Like I would probably have an easier time writing a Jonathan redemption fic than a Robert redemption fic, and Jonathan actively tried to destroy the world. 😅)

@twistedsinews replied to your post “�� SEND THIS TO TEN OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE...”

<3!

@moononmyfloor replied to your post “Fans of color and particularly Asian fans are saying that you have a...”

Oh I see. Well, you talk about Magnus beautifully, and I love to read them. I also love your stories. Is all I can offer. And virtual hugs, even though I believe the seasoned senior online writer and critique you dont need them to feel comforted. If anything, I feel vicariously comforted seeing the confidence in your articles. I offer hugs nonetheless lol. ��

awww, hugs are always appreciated! I always need hugs

(Not because of this particular nonny though. They’re clearly trolling, but I do occasionally still post the troll comments so anyone who has been bothered by that sort of thing in the past, can see someone calling out the BS.)

@twistedsinews replied to your post “@firstaudrina replied to your post “7 Comfort Movies”Absolutely...”

...i don't know that anyone else would consider alien a comfort movie either, and yet here I am. XD

I MEAN

that’s a pretty great movie

I find Ellen Ripley’s existence pretty comforting :D

@firstaudrina replied to your post “Hey! It’s the same nonny who asked about your dislike on the...”

EXACTLY omg this is so succinctly put I'm applauding rn

😊 asfdjkl thanks

@vellesian replied to your post “I’m a little confused dksjsh you brought up the point that...”

Oh yeah, the wards! I forgot about that. Not enough fics dealt with that major issue.

IT IS A PROBLEM. IT COULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY BIG PROBLEM

@moononmyfloor replied to your post “@syzara replied to your post “@firstaudrina replied to your post “7...”

Thanks Jilly and @syzara I have made a skin now. I cant seem to activate a font(yet), but I'll figure that out.��

yay! congrats 😘

#shadowhunters #sh meta #my sh rambling #robert lightwood #mirrorofliterature #jilly answers

here's some meta for you to chew on: Robert values conforming to society more than his children: Maryse learns (and in some part of her, always has) valued her children over conformity to children. Robert stagnates: Maryse doesn't, and I think a lot of this boils down to Robert's adultery - which, whilst not socially acceptable per se, is in some parts socially excused - and her realisation that she should love her children more, particularly after Alec fell off the balcony. [I'm writing them AU

Yes

(I'm not sure if there was supposed to be a part 2 with that dangling sentence at the end, or just typo/editing, but I definitely agree with what you've got here.)

Post-Circle Robert seems to value being "nice" and accepted over any attempts to be good or right.

Maryse is a terrible parent but was doing all the wrong things for the right reasons... she thought it would help her children in the future.

Robert didn't counter what she was doing, but it seems likely that wasn't because he agreed with her but because he didn't want to deal with the attention that conflict would bring.

He comforts his children after she leaves, but he doesn't stand up for them... He doesn't stand up for Maryse *to* them either. He carefully and consistently stays as neutral as possible.

Having an affair is completely in line with that. He never quite chooses one or the other, never quite says either yes or no. He makes both his wife and mistress complicit in it, both of them have too much to lose if they go public, so he gets to have his cake and eat it too.

#moononmyfloor #jilly replies #loquaciousquark #mirrorofliterature #syzara #junemermaid

@moononmyfloor replied to your post “Sucks bc I really enjoyed your writing but seeing your unapologetic...”

I found this ask really hilarious. Ofc I know I shouldn't feed trolls, but what is this when has Jilly criticised a race? We criticise people and their actions. People are people all around the world! I'm brown and if a white lady kindly points out what I did wrong, she's the furthest thing from being racist. And vice versa. I agree quarantine brings forth crazy "ideas". *shakes head*

Sometimes the trolls have really bad aim, I guess? 🤷‍♀️

@loquaciousquark replied to your post “Sucks bc I really enjoyed your writing but seeing your unapologetic...”

WHAT.

I THINK I’VE BEEN PURITY-WANKED, QUARK

@syzara replied to your post “Sucks bc I really enjoyed your writing but seeing your unapologetic...”

you really are getting the best and the worst out of quarantining nonnies these days...

this is what I get for keeping anon on, apparently? Mostly they’re good? AND THEN SOMETIMES...

@mirrorofliterature replied to your post “Sucks bc I really enjoyed your writing but seeing your unapologetic...”

this is such an odd and, frankly, inaccurate ask. 'identifying flaws within minority characters' does not equal blatant racism, at least as I'm aware? and where are the others (who are credible and not just some random peeved anon) who've been recently saying that you're work is explicitly racist? I just... yes, acknowledging and apologising for ignorant racism in your work as living in a racist society, but being accused of blatant racism because you're saying Magnus Bane is bad at apologising doesn't make sense? sounds like a magnus stan of the purity variety who isn't in any way trying to engage you in good faith but instead petty and illogical discourse.

Oh yeah, I had no interest in engaging with them, but I also wanted to say that hey there are things it can be worth talking about! If you want to actually talk about them and not just yell gibberish and be self-righteously superior at people

@junemermaid replied to your post “@junemermaid replied to your post “but it’s like a canon thing??...”

If so, I will happily stand corrected!

🥰 (Nonny confirmed, in case you didn’t see the other ask)

#wip posting #shadowhunters #alec lightwood #mirrorofliterature #jilly answers

cry [for if you can find this in your wips: for all your angsty works]

[WIP meme]

Oh look, we found a very sad Alec in my Arranged Marriage AU. (He voluntarily outed himself earlier in this, and it went about as well as everyone expected.)

Until he's blinking at the blue tile in his shower one morning as he scrubs off the smell of cheap beer and some nameless man's cologne, and he starts to cry.

He's sitting on the tile and the water's lost all its pressure, a weak and inconstant trickle spattering against his feet, by the time he manages to stop.

His whole life is gone.

If he's not married to a Shadowhunter they won't let him be Head of an Institute.

Now that they know what he is, they won't let him be anything. No rank, no responsibility. He's not even allowed to look after his own people, the only thing he'd ever done that he had any pride in, the only thing he'd ever let matter.

#yuletide season is my favorite season #mirrorofliterature #jilly answers

I've never participated in Yuletide before, and I must say I'm curious - if you don't mind, could you explain to me what these nominations are for?

Oh, I adore Yuletide, I could talk about it forever. (It’s the Holy Grail of fic exchanges, imo.) For reference: FAQ on AO3

The idea behind Yuletide is it’s for rare/small fandoms, it’s a way to get fic for whatever favorites you have that don’t get updates regularly, or possibly to entice people to try fic for a fandom they haven’t considered before. It works as well as it does (there are usually over 2k fics in the main collection every year, and several hundred as treats that are answers to prompts throughout the next year), largely because of the tagset.

When you sign up there are separate requests vs offers (which is something I wish all exchanges were more clear about, because I can do things I don’t necessarily want someone else to do for me, and I’d like stuff I can’t do well, iykwim?) and they are limited to available tags. You specify the fandom you want, and the characters. After that you can talk about what sort of fic you want, but the matching is done via those tags. This means it’s largely automated and it is impossible you’re going to get matched to someone who actually hates your favorite character and is going to have trouble with your fic.

(A lot of people also include a link to a letter with more specifics re: favorite tropes, clear Do-Not-Wants, details on what they like about the specific fandoms they requested, etc. but that’s not required. My generic exchange letter is here, I don’t usually have specifics for my fandoms beyond what fits on the sign-up form. I haven’t updated it in a while, I should probably do that soon.)

This matching is only possible because, when signing up, you can only choose from the fandoms that were nominated. Firstly, this gives a chance to confirm that any fandom nominated is actually rare enough to need the boost, and secondly it organizes the options so the choices are limited enough that people actually do match.

But that means nominations are really important, and if you don’t nominate your favorite tiny fandom because you thought someone else would (because maybe usually someone else does?) it might not be there for you to ask for when sign-ups happen.

Hopefully that made sense? If not, do let me know and I’ll try again.

#writing memery #mirrorofliterature #jilly answers

the first fic I identify with you instinctively has got to be 'the stars don't come down' you know that destroyed me.

Thank you darling, I do like to share my agony 💔😅

That one came about from my occasional recurring annoyance with my own complete inability to process creativity visually. I can’t draw, I’m bad at layout for fanmix covers or back when I had to make informal memos for work a billion years ago (they always made me do them though, so apparently I got there, it was just a painful process). I miss a lot of visual storytelling cues in TV and movies (except for body language, I think because my brain associates that with dialogue, which as a word nerd I tend to focus on a lot), I am constantly startled by things people highlight in gifsets, like... that was in the show?

For awhile there were a couple lines from this one poem that was doing all the fandom rounds, I saw it in gifsets for everything from Community to Leverage to MCU stuff. AND GOSH IT’S A GOOD POEM.

so I wrote scenes for it, since I couldn’t gif it

and then I got yelled at a lot, which is one of my favorite things

[Chapter 2 is not based on the poem, just another sad ending; I figured I’d try and keep the tragedy contained, since I can’t just post every ficlet I ever write separately or I’ll never find anything ever again, but I find I prefer it and people are more likely to find them if I combine them thematically rather than one giant dumping ground.]

[fic meme]

faejilly reblogged

#shadowhunters #quotation #fic appreciation #poemsfromthealley #favorite authors #favorite fics #this is so lovely #mirrorofliterature #<3

That was, he supposed, the price the living paid. They were left with their regret, while the dead were free.

Some philosophical thoughts from The Stair Into the Sea by @poemsfromthealley.

faejilly reblogged

lynne-monstr