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half agony, half hope

@faejilly / faejilly.tumblr.com

personal / fandom / writing [jillyfae on ao3]
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Anonymous asked:

Not to be suddenly serious on your completely justified salt re: Jace -> my salt was bc s1 Jace was insufferable and frustrating!! Every time I really truly wanted to let it go or maybe cut him some slack bc I'm not entirely unsympathetic to him, he somehow managed to double down on his bs :/ Like I was willing to move on from him acting pissy when werewolves took Clary and the infamous 'maybe your mom..." in 1x05, but he, no, he dropped "yes, you did. you lost her" when Alec said he didn't do

anything Jace hadn't done before. What is worse this shit was followed by his entitled self-righteous behavior in 1x06 like you don't get to treat Alec crappy and then demand his help and act as if he's supposed to simply come around (unpopular opinion but I don't like their scene at the end of 1x06). And this is only one example! Thus, I'm like Alec's punches, verbal and actual ones alike, were lethal and brutal and I'm not unsympathetic to Jace but his stupid dumb ass had it coming

I mean

I agreed with your salt the first time nonny, but

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The show tells us that Jace loves Alec and would die for him. It tells us that he’s a good Shadowhunter, an excellent fighter and a valued soldier. That means that for everyone to believe such things (and they clearly do), historically he gets the job done, values the parabatai bond itself (we see that he was the one who pushed for it, in fact) and regularly protects Alec to the best of his ability. The show explicitly tells us all these things, makes it clear that’s how everyone else views their relationship, that that past is both well-known and well-supported by the other characters’ behavior.

Does the show actually show us any of that beyond a few brief moments in s1? No. But. It’s not, on a technical level, a very good show. It frequently says one thing and shows something else and clearly never notices the disconnect.

SO

This means, if we’re stupidly invested in the characters (like I am, obviously) we need to look at the show and decide what we think canon was trying to say, whether that’s actually what it said or not.

Where does that leave us with Jace?

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Rating: Mature

Pairings: Magnus/Alec

Summary: Fairy tales and demon tracks; Alec and Magnus meet just in time to go on a hunt. One that ends up changing both their lives more than either could have imagined.

Beta: @taupefox59 and @paperuni 

Banner Artist: @poemsfromthealley

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faejilly

Hey look! I wrote a thing! (I finished a  BB, for the first time ever! IT EVEN HAS A PLOT. And demons. And stuff.)

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warm as silk

More Code: Realize! It’s that sort of day. (Also I realized I never actually posted my Yuletide this year, Because Family Vacation, and I should probably remedy that.) [AO3]
A Cardia Beckford/Abraham Van Helsing epilogue set immediately post-game. (Like, the next sentence, immediately.) Basically I wrote some fluff (that’s the thing I do, right?) about a poisonous lady and a reformed vampire hunter who are RIDICULOUSLY in love. 

Their private party was magical, and not a soul noticed them. They danced ‘til the music faded, and the sky was too hazy for stars, and even Steel London was quiet all around them. Cardia kept her eyes open as Van Helsing lifted her down, and his face, edged in light and shadow, looking up at her as he held her, was as beautiful as the view from the rooftop had been.

He offered her his arm, and she tucked her hand around his elbow, and didn’t even try and stop the half-a-skip in her step from happiness.

“Thank you, Van.”

He glanced down at her, the look in his eyes soft and warm, but the barest hint of something else in the lift of the corner of his mouth. It seemed happy, whatever it was, so she leaned against his arm, and looked around the quiet streets as they walked home.

It was so nice to have a home.

“I have one more surprise for you.”

Cardia turned back toward Van, following the echo of the door he’d just closed, the low whisper of his voice. She enjoyed the swirl of her new dress around her legs as she moved; so much lighter and more delicate than anything she’d ever worn before. She would have to thank Fran for his help with this lovely evening. “Van, what else could you pos– ?”

Her voice caught in her throat. She’d been smiling, a light tease of anticipation. She’d discovered she quite liked surprises, when they were from someone she loved. She felt her smile falter, her steps pause, her skin flush at the look in his eyes, so very steady, so intent, all his focus just on her.

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faejilly

Inktober #12

prompt: instrument So I’ve had this ridiculous band-based modern AU F!Hawke/Sebastian thing sitting in my WIP folder for years now, but it needed a new opening. And I needed a new ficlet, so. Here you go. <3

She loves to sing.

She loves the way it feels in her chest, in her throat, the way she can feel the whole world breathe with her when she closes her eyes. She loves the way a song sounds in the shower, different from in the car, from the way her voice fills a club or drifts away down a hallway. She loves her band, loves finding the melody hidden in the words Isabela and Merrill write, loves the drive and weight Aveline gives them, the heartbeat of her bass tying them all together, pushing them forward whenever they might pause too long and get lost.

She loves people too, though Isabela sighs and Merrill squints and Aveline rolls her eyes when she tries to say so; she honestly likes meeting new people, likes buying a round of drinks, joining in a toast, likes meeting some stranger’s eyes and smiling. She loves seeing them smile back.

She’d even kinda liked the terrible third-shift gas-station job she’d had once, chatting with travellers and students pulling all nighters and the other third-shifters who’d forgotten their lunches grabbing candy bars and frozen burritos and tar-black coffee.

She was not as fond of cleaning the bathrooms every morning. People could be great, but fuck they were also disgusting.

Now if she’s up ‘til 3am she’s probably got a gig.

She loves the energy of the crowd during a show, the high after a performance, loves it enough she knows she’ll never stop, even if they never manage a gig anywhere beyond the local college/club circuit, even if her coffee addiction rises to dangerous levels to compensate for Monday mornings.

Basically, she has the best side-gig she could ever imagine, joy and work and people and always more music to find, to love, to sing.

Except for the five minutes right before she goes on stage, when her stomach twists and her throat burns and the crowd sounds like a beast just waiting to devour her.

She’s almost ditched every single show they’ve ever had, and is afraid, each time, that this is the one when she’ll crack, when she’ll stand on stage and look out at all those eyes, bright and brittle and hungry, and open her mouth and not make a sound.

So she sneaks a look at them, before she goes on. Finds one person to sing to, someone she’s never met before, probably never will again, one person who will listen, until her voice is steady and her nerves are strong and she stops thinking and starts feeling again.

Someone pretty, someone not too drunk or wasted, if she can find them.

Tonight she finds Donnic, that won’t work, know him already, but next to him, oh Andraste thank you, that one.

She settles, she grins. She found someone very pretty this time. She gets on stage, she finds him, meets his eyes, impossible eyes, and can barely hear Merrill’s first beat, almost forgets to breathe, and for the first time in her life misses her cue entirely.

Isabela covers, a shift in her chords, a pose and a wink and the crowd laughs and she blinks, and she inhales, and this time she sings.

She sings the whole song to him, the whole set, not just the usual first few bars, and he never once looks away.

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