half agony, half hope

I cannot even focus enough to finish my morning pages today

and I journal those, they’re legit stream of consciousness there is no focus required

and yet

also on my second cup of coffee. and low on meds. and haven’t made the bed. and everyone missed their doctor’s appointments last month

I AM AN EXCELLENT ADULT

I haven’t even made the guest-room bed and my mother will be here tonight and will probably want a place to sleep!

whee?

*sighs*

I want to be doing something

housework or some bill/budget rearranging stuff or writing

(or there are phone calls. there are always phone calls I am avoiding)

but I know I am out of brain

and for all that most of the time I understand my personal need for dormancy in the life and creative cycles, atm it is annoying

in other news

finally saw Mad Max (yay)

Bert is a disturbingly good dancer (*by which I mean the person in the Bert costume at Sesame Place.)

grown ups at Sesame Place are frequently jerks and do things like stand in front of the crowd waiting for the parade so the actual children behind them can’t see anything (is it so hard to sit or kneel? come on now)

also the Carousel in the late afternoon is still my favorite thing

Big Bird talking to me while I’m riding the Carousel is extra nice :D

(clearly my inner-five-year-old is still with me quite strongly)

There is a definitely lack of decent Count merch, though, which was sad, because that was really the only thing the husband was looking for?

and I should have bought an Oscar mug, but I didn’t

silly me