[faded mind]

Personally I always felt like Hobbits age at roughly the same rate as exceptionally healthy humans and that the reason they don’t come of legal age until 33 is because have you met people in their 20s because Tolkien did

Funny: Pippin is an idiot because he’s not an adult yet.

Funnier: Pippin is an idiot because he’s 28.

jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien, an actual college professor: none of you are fucking valid

me, a 29-and-a-half year old: i mean, but is he wrong

no I’m definitely not a Frodo apologist, because first of all Frodo has nothing to apologize for

concept: which member of the fellowship are you personality quiz, except there’s only one question and its “what do you think about pippin”. answers range from “bastard man, naughty boy” to “my son whom shall be cherished”

lads, here it is: the worst lord of the rings quiz you will ever take in your life 

@cityelf

everyone in fantasy novels is horny on main for elves and it’s honestly a travesty like why the hell would you want to marry an elf you’ll just spend the rest of your days growing old in the woods with a bunch of immortal bastards whose heads are so far up their asses they think singing week-long ballads is prime entertainment and say shit like “thou” and “beseech” unironically y'all should be hooking up with dwarves who 1. actually know how to throw the fuck down and let loose at a party 2. will literally shower you in diamond dust and gold they mined and crafted with their bare hands and 3. can sling you over their shoulder like a sack of potatoes with their huge muscular arms developed from hours of said mining and crafting. there’s literally no contest.

Legolas ghostwrote this

Sorry but when Frodo is going thru it and Sam is like, “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you” thts love

Personally I always felt like Hobbits age at roughly the same rate as exceptionally healthy humans and that the reason they don’t come of legal age until 33 is because have you met people in their 20s because Tolkien did

Funny: Pippin is an idiot because he’s not an adult yet.

Funnier: Pippin is an idiot because he’s 28.

Pointless LOTR headcanon of the day: Frodo & Merry both take after their mothers, meaning Frodo looks more like a Brandybuck than a Baggins and Merry looks more like a Took. This is a constant source of petty contention.

(Pippin meanwhile absolutely takes after his father & is the most Tookish looking)

Merry: call me a Took one more time

Gandalf: if it looks like a Took and acts like a Took it’s a Took

Merry: I will END you

Gandalf is the only nonhobbit in the fellowship who understands the minutiae of Took Vs Brandybuck Vs Baggins rivalry & he delights in it, everyone else baffled

Frodo: look it’s perfectly simple. The Brandybucks don’t like the Tooks because they play golf and think they’re better than everyone because they occasionally go on adventures. The Tooks don’t like the Brandybucks because they live on the wrong side of the river and like boats. And nobody likes the Bagginses because they’re annoying.

Aragorn: are you… Including yourself in that

Frodo: I said what I said.

Frodo: now the Bagginses don’t like the Brandybucks OR the Tooks because they’re highly disrepectable but also richer than they are. And as far as a lot of the Bagginses are concerned I’m a Brandybuck because I grew up in Buckland and I have the Brandybuck Profile

Merry: which just means he’s not pug-ugly

Frodo: quite.

Aragorn: this is all ridiculous. Keep going.

Gandalf: Hm now I wouldn’t say UGLY but… every Baggins I’ve ever met has been perfectly Round or perfectly Square… There is no middle ground.

Gimli, baffled: Frodo isn’t round OR square

Merry: that’s because he has the Brandybuck profile

Gimli: so… Is he a Brandybuck…

Merry: ABSOLUTE not

Frodo: slander!! I’m a Baggins how dare you

Pippin: was your father a Round Baggins or a Square Baggins

Frodo: my father… Was the ROUNDEST Baggins who ever lived… A perfect Sphere of hobbit…

Lord of the Rings is the rare case where the book is a musical and the movie isn’t

Can tell Merry & Pippin apart, of course they can, what kind of question is that: Frodo, Sam

Could not initially tell Merry & Pippin apart but made an effort to learn their names & can now tell them apart: Aragorn, Boromir

Try as he might cannot consistently tell Merry & Pippin apart: Gimli

Can absolutely tell Merry & Pippin apart but pretends not to be able to: Gandalf

Cannot tell Merry & Pippin apart and not even trying: Legolas

where do merry and pippin fall on this spectrum

What do you mean you can’t tell us apart, I’m much taller??: Merry

“I’m Merry”: Pippin

I relate to Sauron because he was a craftsman and artist who apparently had not actually made anything since the 2nd age

Humans: Taurus, Gemini, Leo

Elves: Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius

Hobbits: Cancer, Libra, Pisces

Dwarves: Aries, Capricorn, Aquarius

the lord of the rings gets a lot funnier when you realise that merry and pippin were stoned out of their minds a good half of the time

imagine you and your best friend both have the munchies so you decide to raid the local farmer’s field when you literally run into your two of your smoking buddies from the shire and they tell you they’re hiking to bree to meet gandalf, who you know has some top quality hash stashed on his person at all times, so you agree to go with them and somehow end up on a thousand-mile hike to destroy a piece of evil jewellery in a volcano. congratulations. you’re merry and pippin now.

happy 4/20 folks

boromir was genuinely a good guy who cared about his people so passionately and he actually cared about the members of the fellowship and tried to teach the hobbits to swordfight and he was the only one who actually offered some comfort to gimli when he found out his cousin was dead and and he CARRIED merry and pippin up the mountain and over the broken bridge he tried to make aragorn give everyone just a few minutes to mourn gandalf and THEN when he found out the ring was corrupting his mind and that he attacked frodo he literally started crying in digust of himself and tried to apologize and then he DIED saving merry and pippin and god i am so emotional over boromir

→ Ride for ruin and the world’s ending

#always always always reblog#the charge of the rohirrim#pelennor fields#this moment#this one#and the slaying of the witch king#without Eowyn’s despair#without Theoden’s desperation to take his place honored in the halls of his ancestors#without Eomer’s reckless abandon when he thinks his sister is dead#without the flaws#the courage#but especially without the HUMANITY of these people#Gondor would’ve fallen#and no one would’ve been there to draw the eye of Sauron at the critical moment#all would’ve been lost to darkness#plus also the rohirrim are my fave

No other scene conveyed what the book did so well. Is also the single most epic moment in the series.

I love how after Gandalf sacrifices himself to save the Fellowship from the balrog, he uses his last words to call everyone fools. Grumpy wizard died as he lived: dragging everyone. Iconic