Want a trendy French name for your baby? Just open a fucking dictonary and pick at random without looking at the definition, THIS IS SUCH A GREAT IDEA. Not.
Right off the bat, it starts pretty bad. I mean, if you’re gonna use some ridiculous adjectives, at least try to properly match the gender to the spelling. ffs.
( French adjectives change to agree in gender and number with the nouns that they modify )
“charming French children’s song” yeah right.
Alouette gentille alouette, alouette je te plumerai. Sounds cute ? If roughly translates to “Lark, nice lark, I will pluck your feathers out” - way to give nightmares to a toddler.
I don’t even know where to start. Anneau means ‘ring’ and is defo masculine in French. Also, seems kinda cruel when you think about how easy it can go to ‘anal’ but that’s off topic.
Aérien, same shit, that’s masculine. Aérienne could work, it’s actually kinda pretty but WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU GIVE A NAME WITH AN ACCENTS IF YOU LIVE IN A COUNTRY WITH A QWERTY KEYBOARD I MEAN…
And there there’s Bechette. I… I don’t even know man, I just don’t.
Bonté, misgendered again. (edit : sorry, got carried away. it’s pretty ugly tho)
Cadeau, masculine. Also WHY. Like… it’s a pony name, they even say it.
Chaton is cute but it’s a nickname. Would you name a baby boy “Kitten” ? Yes ? Well think about that kid turning 25 and applying for a job and answer the first question again.
CAUSE FACTORY IS SUCH A PRETTY NAME. Not.
Flambeau. That’s a horse name if you ask me. I mean come on.
Galette sounds ridiculous and Britons are cringing everywhere.
Janvier is… well. It’s weird but okay. It’s definitely not used as a name in France though, they’re lying x)
Jeton means token. It can also mean ‘to be scared’ (avoir les jetons) or ‘phoney’ / ‘coward’ (faux-jeton)
Jumelle can either mean Twin or Binocular. I would really rethink that one…
Lexique… just call her Lexi ffs. You can’t be seriously naming your daughter lexicon…
Maison means House. Stop trying to be a fucking hipster.
Musique could work but just go for Mélodie, at least it exists as a name and you’ll be able to find a goddamn keychain for that poor child.
Neige is poetic, I’ll give you that.
NICHEE IS PROPERLY GENDERED YOUHOU. See, wasn’t that hard. That name is fugly tho.
Parc. PARC. I mean… what even.
Ruban… well, why not but also why ?
Samedi. Listen, unless you’re the fucking Addams family, don’t name your child after a day of the week.
Satiné, again with masculine adjective as feminine name. At least try to pretend they are gender neutral and stop color-coding them.
Terre was pretty bad and Tulipe pretty weird but then I saw Velouté and got side-tracked. Un velouté is a thick creamy soup. Like… potatoes and leek.
Vrai sounds so douchy I’m not even going to comment too much on that but
Vrille can be used in sentences like “les choses sont parties en vrille” meaning “things went south” / “poop hit the fan”
I can also mean ‘to twist’ and it’s all in all a really bad idea.
That’s all for today folks, I’m going to need a glass of wine to forget this ever happened.
