unconditional

mutual: u blonde blue eyed fake ass canadian bitch.. me, none of thos things: dam… they talking about me? :/

nobody ever sends me random asks anymore so i just sit here blogging alone like

when your whole crew is looking fresh af

a whole bus full of party boys

sorry i’m late, professor. i’m disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis

boy: *takes more than 3 minutes to text back*

me: *opens quote post* “A man has always wanted to lay me down, but he never wanted to pick me up.” -Eartha Kitt

I wanted to kno how long the show was on

oh sweet jesus

oh sour jesus

oh BBQ jesus

oh cool ranch jesus

oh doritos locos tacos jesus

y'all wanna see a photo of my shrimp I'm pretty sure I just caught speaking directly to god

why tf do y’all keep tagging this “shrimp heaven now”

you: hey

me, with 25 wikipedia tabs open on cryptids, megafauna, & extraterrestrials: what?