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(click through for full size comic)
“Here is a List of Things” from Welcome to Night Vale episode 2, Glow Cloud Illustrations by Lauren Ftagn
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Lie down and look up at the ceiling and breathe with those curiously fragile lungs of yours and remind yourself: Don’t worry. Don’t worry. All is as it was meant to be. It was meant to be lonely and terrifying and unfair and heaving. Don’t worry.
Welcome to Night Vale (via justgonnausethisurl)
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WRITE ME MORE ABOUT HOCKEY IN NIGHTVALE DAMNIT
So today I was working extremely hard at my job and Rachel tweeted me this
So I responded
And it was deemed a pretty good idea
I told Rachel she could demand more if she wanted, so here it is.
The first time anyone in Night Vale had seen a hockey game, the entire 1974 Stanley Cup Final Game Five appeared in the parking lot of Gino’s Italian Dining Experience and Grill and Bar, fans included. By the time the third period started, a large majority of the population of Night Vale had gathered around to watch, including the Sheriff’s Secret Police, who mostly shrieked unintelligible Hungarian phrases at the players. Neither the Bruins nor the Flyers seemed to notice they weren’t at the Garden anymore, but Phil Esposito did mention the obelisk in his post-game. No one commented on it.
Since then, hockey has been slowly growing as an alternate sport for Night Vale men and women who don’t feel like offering the requisite blood sacrifice that the parks and rec open volleyball games require. Obviously, children are not allowed to play as the new hockey rink (located in an abandoned building that everyone totally remembers being there before. You remember that building being there yesterday, right? It definitely was there last week.) emits a high-pitched noise that drives everyone under the age of 15 into a murderous rage. Which, fair enough, isn’t exactly the worst thing they’ve had to deal with this week, but the Mayor is really bored of writing apology letters to parents demanding an explanation for their axe-wielding child out by the family bloodstone circle.
No one really remembers playing their first game of hockey, often times Night Vale men and women will talk to their friends and find out they’ve been playing on one of the city’s four rec teams for several months. Makes all that raw chicken they’ve been craving make a little more sense.
Like I said, goalies are a sentient void whose power only increases as the game goes on, eventually covering (consuming?) most of the rink with ultimate darkness. It’s pretty effective, though the best forwards in Night Vale, Aleeah Khouri and Frank M. don’t seem to be bothered by the creeping fear. Probably something to do with how they were born during the Great Star Mystery of 1986 That We Don’t Talk About, Hey Where Did All The Stars Go.
The game is usually considered over once most of the players have either wandered off in a daze or disappeared into the void with nothing but echoes of their voice whispering “consider the lilies” in the ears of their closest loved ones. They always appear again eventually, wearing an unreasonable amount of Mardi Gras beads and covered in radioactive ash.
The occasional Night Vale resident makes it to the NHL, but they find it hard to adjust to a game concerned with things like defined penalties and superstition. No one in Night Vale has ever had a superstition. These honored sons are always welcomed back to the city with the customary suspicion and isolation in Radon Canyon. One of the town’s favorites, Daniel and Henrik Sedin, known as Melissa Ramos in Night Vale, has been able to navigate the NHL with aplomb.
I was absolutely loving this, but then "One of the town’s favorites, Daniel and Henrik Sedin, known as Melissa Ramos in Night Vale, has been able to navigate the NHL with aplomb." and I COMPLETELY LOST IT
Come to think of it, I'm not sure I ever had it. It definitely hasn't been here before. What is it anyway?
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OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I'VE HAD A BRILLIANT THOUGHT
Imagine the #overlyhonestmethods posts from Carlos’s team of scientists.
sofriel
"This paper is shorter than normal due to the primary researcher turning into a tree before she could finish it."
"Test subjects were selected randomly by loitering outside Big Rico’s and offering illicit bread crust for all participants."
"Experiment time intervals were carefully chosen so that Carlos would actually be on time for his date for once."
"Potential errors include time loss from that cancelled Wednesday, the fact that the local government legally forbid us from mentioning the source of the data, and the loss of a substantial amount of recorded notes that were replaced with dead silence and the smell of vanilla."
"Some results were altered to sound more normal so we don’t get our funding revoked."
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Hark, the herald angel sings!
Glory to T̛̪̘̬H̯̹́E͇̺̳͟ ̲̹Ạ̸̖͇ͅL͍͓͓͔̣̲M̵̛̤̖̯͔̦̹Í̧̫͍̖̝G̨̮̯̼͈̯͉͖H̦͚̠̠̳̙͠͠Ţ̷͈̯̝̲̺̗̩Y̸̟̤̩̖͕̜ ̢̝̬͈G̛͚̥͈̣̝̬͙͟L͏͍͔̹͇̜̖O̖̦̻̮̩͚̻W͚̖͟ C͠҉̰̫͉̘̫̘͖ͅḼ̺̳͚O̠̻̭̞̥̫͎Ụ̢̬̯̖͓D̵̛̟͍͇͓͉͖̫̗͟
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Ms. Frizzle inspired by this post:
What if Carlos is Carlos from The Magic School Bus who was inspired to become a scientist after all the amazing field trips and he only went to Night Vale because it was Mrs. Frizzle’s home town and he just had to know why she was the only teacher he had who could bend the laws of the universe to her will
My theory is Old lady Josie’s last name is Frizzle, she’s gotten a bit dotty in her old age.
queenofferrets
*Screeches*
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connor’s night vale costume is ready to go!
total cost: shit i had lying around my house + 4 plastic garden fence thingies from the 99 cent store plus yarn: $5.69
dog park art courtesy of and with permission from nik sardos, a gr9 artist. go check out his stuff: website // deviant art profile
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Carlos and the Night Vale Puppy Infestation of ‘13.
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To celebrate reaching 900 followers, I’ve cast a handful of Khoshekh’s kittens. These tiny kittens are about 1 1/4 inches wide and made of sturdy polyurethane resin. Some have been brushed with pearl powder, others have inclusions of glitter or glow-in-the-dark powder. Each one is different and unique, and very, very lucky. Also, terrifying.
At this point, I am planning to give figures to four (4) randomly selected tumblr users. If this ends up getting a lot of reblogs, I’ll give away more of them.
Rules:
- You do NOT have to be following me.
- You may reblog up to 3 times (no more than once per day), either for the same cat or a different one each time. Likes don’t count.
- When you reblog, please keep the entirety of the contest text and then write which cat you’re entering for, either by name or number. If you don’t say which one you want, you can’t win it!
- You need to either be 18, or you need to clear it with your parents before you send me your address to ship. If you win, they’re welcome to email me directly if they wish.
Winners will be chosen on Halloween.
(Please note that none of these are for sale, but I may consider art trades with other Night Vale artists for custom kittens or kittens remaining after the giveaway.)
They are all amazing, but if I must choose…Void.
Oil Slick please
Void please!
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Reblog if you'd vote for Hiram McDaniels for mayor.
omg VOTE FOR HIRAM
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I saw someone talking about Halloween in Night Vale. Night Vale before Christmas was the only logical course of action.
I’m still not entirely convinced WtNV and NMbC aren’t actually set in the same place. Think about it - it would explain a lot; well, not really.
viridecinerem
OMG THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL CROSSOVER OMG
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angel experiment 1
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scholla-deactivated20161120
And now, who’s gonna help you? Oh, I know who.
Recent studies show that levitation isn’t Khoshekh’s fault - actually the poor cat is just a victiom of very stubborn lack of gravitation in this exact spot when the pet exist. But the inability to hovering on his own doesn’t make Khoshekh less special and JUSTa cat. We all know that there’s something weird and a bit demonic in EVERY cat. And that’s why we love them, don’t we?
Cecil’s design by littleulvar
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"Okay chaps, here’s the briefing: I’ll operate out, Douglas, you operate back. Our alternate is Desert Bluffs. Fair bit of warning: our client is literally a five-headed dragon.”
Bonus:
Source: lstu
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imagine a les mis/night vale crossover thingymabobby with grantaire fawning over perfect beautiful enjolras imagine his reaction when enjolras got his hair cut off by barber telly imagine enjolras coming to night vale and rebelling against the city council just imagine this
euphrasiefauchelevent
one day they notice intern jehan has disappeared and then he texts the others from inside the dog park
enjolrasdoodle
old man fauchelevent says that angels have appeared to him and helped him change a lightbulb on his porch
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honestly it’s all i care about