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#ahahahahahahahaha – @eyeballs-for-sale on Tumblr
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Hi my name is Baron Marius Thomas Tel'bon Victor Pontmercy and I have thick and intensely black hair and a high, intelligent forehead that contrasts my sensual smile and passionate flaring nostrils and a lot of people tell me I look like Victor Hugo (the humble author, who is, reluctantly, compelled to speak of himself, has to note here that anyone who does not know who he is should stop reading at this point). I’m directly related to Colonel Baron Georges Pontmercy and that’s great because he was a major fucking hottie. I’m not royalist but my teeth are the whitest in the world. I have small eyes, but a grand gaze. I’m also a law student, and I go to a school called Paris University in France where I’m finishing my studies (I’m seventeen). I’m a Bonapartist democrat (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love family heirlooms and try to encorporate them in my outfits. For example today I was wearing a black shagreen locket with a note from my father in it and a band of crepe on my hat. I was carrying around a hundred calling cards with my name in my pocket. I was walking around Paris. It was a warm day with bees flying around, which I was very happy about. A lot of Republicans stared at me. I put my middle finger at them.

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the world's oldest ship war

Aeschylus: Achilles goes on top. Plato: No; definitely Patroclus. Xenophon: They were just friends. Plato: Shut up, Xenophon. Aeschines: It’s practically canon. Aristarchus: I know it looks canon, but Homer didn’t write that - someone added it later. Shakespeare: It’s canon.

Alexander is just that incoherent guy in the corner going “SDFkjhgksdjhf OTP"

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