I make perfumes that smell like blood, phlegm, black bile, and yellow bile. They're not very good yet, but I'm trying to improve my scents of humor.

[ID: Two images. Top image is a tweet from jackbern23 dated May 10 2021, reading “Bugs Bunny won’t accept any files through WeTransfer or Google Drive, the only way to send him something is as a Whatsapp doc” Second image, my response, is a gif of Cary Grant raising his hand to point out of frame, captioned “Get out.”]

You ever think of a pun so heinous that you’re forced to inflict it on the world?

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hue jackman

i showed this to my sister and she slapped me

People start to ship Tony Stark and his bodygaurd Iron Man.

The ship name is “Irony”

This is God tier and you should be GODDAMNED proud.

When your boyfriend Dracula is biting too hard:

Vladislav… baby, don’t hurt me. 

Besides training all the major Greek heroes, Chiron was also a doctor.

That would make him the Centaur for Disease Control.

*sigh*

He was a strong supporter of herd immunity.

Area Man Discovers New Dimension

Becomes Volume Man

Can you name all of them?

sashimi rolling, they hating

This is honestly the content I am here for, every day. 

@in-sunshine-and-in-rain @daneeelleee i am both enraged and amused

Okay so which God do I have to follow to save me from this fucking campaign

@erisgwaed

YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME

Does making this count as making a pun comic? Oops

i’m going to Mega Hell ;_;

I do not deserve this

PUN-ishment

Satan: Who do we have here??

Sam: Why HELL-o there! :D

Satan: ARRRGHHHHH

Me: (Sees Cerberus) SUCH DOGE

MANY HEADS

MUCH BARK

Satan: please leave right now

Space jam?

COME ON AND SLAM

@mementomakomori

Gandalf doesn’t say that Shadowfax is the best or fastest, he says that he is the “lord of all horses” and I quite frankly want more information about the responsibilities and powers that come with that position. 

I would assume it behooves him to create a more stable economy for all horses by reigning in unnecessary spending. It must be a huge responsibility to be saddled with, but I’m sure he always meets it with unbridled enthusiasm. He’s probably chomping at the bit for the next horse presidential race - in fact, I hear he’s already leading in the Gallup polls.

oh my god i lost 7 followers

okay no more horse puns

@lady-lucrezia

JET FUEL CAN’T MELT DANK MEMES

OOH MY GOD, IM GLAD I READ THIS

@phillyderp