love the word "methinks". like lol. yeah. me sure is thinksing.

Methinks therefore meam

just came up with a really good 4 word cooking horror story but idk if you guys are ready for it

2 cups vanilla extract

I had a vision and I had to put it on paper

My sister sent me this photo today with zero context and I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe

WENDY I WILL THROTTLE YOU

Just because you CAN hyphenate the word there doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea (For the non-Germans: They’re talking about the Orkanlage (Orkan-Lage, windstorm situation) but thanks to hyphenating it as they did it reads like Ork-Anlage (orc facility) Fully fledged Orc facility: storm headed north… sounds legit

It has already been memed (of course it has)

From @themountainwithteeth on Instagram

Love that in a lot of classic literature people just “randomly” fall ill but bro their homes were stacked to the roof with arsenic and asbestos and lead and radium of course they were sick all the time.

And then they’re like “we took my ill wife to the seaside and her condition improved remarkably” and it’s like Edward your house has seven time bombs in it please just leave your wife at the seaside and she’ll do very well not getting mesothelioma.

Edward your wife may be entitled to financial compensation

@boggblog please everyone needs to see your very correct statement

All time favourite Brennan moments. Spinning a legendary rant off the top of his head thats better than most jokes in most comedies? This dude should be as famous as Adam Sandler

Unmute! (It’s the Jurassic Park theme)

Legit I just assumed this was one of the types until I read the fine print.

it’s like rock paper scissors: baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby

of course the whole bill clinton thing happens like an HOUR after i post this what the fuck

what bill clinton thing?

WHAT BILL CLINTON THING??!?

Untitled Gelt Game

It’s a beautiful day in Jerusalem and you are leading the Maccabean revolt