They’re doing their best with half a brain cell.

The gray kitten isn't dumb. They're learning. They made a mistake and stopped.

The orange kitten tho... they are not beating the stereotype.

smokey Jone: whoopsiesies! steppted my lil paw inna the foude. dis noan goode, bettor whipes it off ovar hier.

Vermillion Carmichael: gotta eat this fucking metal

Shout out to the best joke I’ve ever told, WWDITS style.

(His name is Timothy)

The sound of it hitting the bookcase should be bottled for easy laughter.

I know y'all did not read the books but Roald Dahl talks about this in the book. Charlie’s teacher points out the fact that unless you buy a shit ton of bars you’re probably not gonna win. Just like the lottery. Just like how all of the other winners of the tickets bought a shit ton of bars. Except Charlie, who just got lucky. And Charlie was originally black. Literally the whole point of the book was that wonka wanted to give the less fortunate a fair opportunity and it wasn’t fair because the system isn’t fair.

Stop the car.

Charlie was originally black?!?!

!?!!

He was and Mr. Dahl was forced to make him white. Also his widow has spoken and confirmed that as well.

because you shouldn’t believe everything you read on a tumblr post at face value, here is a guardian article confirming that charlie was originally conceived as black but dahl made him white at the behest of his publisher

WHAT

But yeah, coming back to the original point, the other kids, especially Augustus Gloop and Veruca Salt, cheated the system by claiming a ridiculous amount of chocolate bars. News reports mention people hoarding Wonka chocolate bars in hopes of finding the Golden Ticket. Mr Salt even admits that he refitted his staff at a nut-shelling factory for opening chocolate bars, without a doubt losing a huge amount of capital in lost profits and mass bulk-buying of chocolate, just to win. The working-class lady who actually found that ticket didn’t benefit from that luck or labour - she was immediately made to hand it over to her boss for his spoiled daughter, who holds it as ‘his’ victory and good luck.

Charlie didn’t even find the ticket in his first bar, or his second. His first bar, his birthday present, was a dud, and he even failed to enjoy it like normal because he dared to hope, just for a moment, that he might actually be lucky enough to get the one. Later, he is lucky enough to find a dropped 50p piece in the street, and goes to buy a chocolate bar for himself. Finally holding a treat that is all his, he wolfs the thing down, stopping only long enough to realises that he didn’t get lucky and win a Golden Ticket. It’s only on the third bar that he gets it, and, smelling blood in the water, the shopkeeper tells him to immediately go home and not tell a soul that he has it, knowing what people might do to this small starving boy if they find out what he has.

And Wonka knows! He knows he done goofed! He realises almost immediately that the people who have been attracted to his lottery, who have stacked the decks in their favour, are awful, cruel, entitled people! Augustus Gloop, the glutton, doesn’t care what placed in front of him so long as it’s food - and the first obstacle? A room where everything is a kind of sweet. Violet’s gum-chewing is excessive, but the modern film adapts this into a more realistic and sinister flaw - overcompetitiveness. It’s not just that she’s been chewing the same piece of gum for months, it’s that she’s been chewing the same piece of gum, weeks after its taste is gone, whether it is socially acceptable or not, just to break a record. So when Wonka promises a new treat, a personal favourite of one of the kids, but says it’s not ready yet and you can’t have it, of course Violet seizes it, because damn the consequences, she will be the first to try it. Veruca is shown a collection of unique animals, and immediately declares that she wants one, because she’s always had the bragging rights and luxury rare items. And when Mr Wonka refuses to sell? She steals it, because dang it, she will have that golden goose/trained squirrel! Mike Teevee, in his hubris, mutilates himself almost beyond recognition because he had to challenge Mr Wonka’s outlandish claim of transmitting physical objects via television. Charlie was the perfect heir, not because he was humble and poor, but because he had the wonder and appreciation for the treats Wonka made but also the sense and caution not to risk messing with the many dangerous things in an active factory. If the lottery was more fair, maybe Charlie would have had more stiff competition, but as it stands, Charlie is almost the poster boy of ‘won by doing nothing’.

Sorry, got sidetracked

TLDR: Apart from Charlie, most of the other kids were entitled rich (white) kids who gamed a system that should have been fair, and were punished for it by revealing to them their greed and hubris

Well I got a lesson in history

Damn this was so good

Damn I should read that book

dog time AKA the only reason i've been managing not to overwork myself

death of the author except when its funny

exactly what someone who regularly turns into a dog would say

im having a genuine blast this is like a gender reveal party to me

@unsolids-your-snake Make sure to take your dog time

Youre assuming I don't regularly lay on the floor or demand my husband pet me

“You’d think an entire civilization of wizards would know how to make mundane weapons completely worthless.”

“You’d also think we’d have area-attack spells, but other than one inexplicably obscure fire thing, nope, nothing.”

“Shit. Who came up with this setting, a feminist Karen?”

To be fair, they are british wizards. American Wizards would have been using guns already.

Quincey Morris would have made this series considerably shorter.

i read the cutest reddit thread today where this 19 yo boy was “babysitting” his 15 yo little sister while his parents were away on vacation and she got this horrific period and needed to be taken to the ER.

and this sweet 19 yo boy was doing all he could to take care of her, giving her meds and water and then packing stuff up to go to the hospital once reddit was like “yeah if she’s soaking two tampons in an hour you should go” - but being only a little older than a child himself, he didn’t know what to pack, so he brought like three things, and one of them was SUNSCREEN.

lmao everyone on reddit was like “you’re a really good brother but sunscreen?? for the hospital??” lmao they are roasting him. also op’s sister changed his name in her phone to “spf” and their dad calls him “bananaboat” now. this guy is never living this down

(also his sister is ok and it turns out their family has some kind of genetic blood disorder)

link to the thread on r/BestofRedditorUpdates

the brother kind of reminds me of that post that’s been going around abt that abandoned five-week-old kitten that was taking care of a few two-week-old kittens that were somehow with him and he was just trying his best but he was so small