next stop: everywhere

My neurons randomly zipping around. I've seen people comment that Amy and River have this stilted relationship. That Amy is always called by River with a stiff and formal "mother". But! keep in mind that just like how a huge part of the Doctor and River's relationship plays out off screen, the same goes for Amy and Rory and River's relationships. Saying River calls her "mother" only is not entirely true anyway since in The Wedding of River Song, we see her call Amy "mummy".

I think the reason why people think Amy and River's relationship is stilted is because they only refer to their dynamic in The Angels Take Manhattan. Which was the reason why my brain suddenly starts yapping again lol. But I'd like to point out that a few episodes earlier, we saw Amy and Rory's almost divorce (still hurts me to this day). And I think it has mostly been forgotten that it's not just Amy and Rory anymore, you know (glares at writers). River would have been affected by their fallout. River would have been so guilty over their almost divorce. River, who, as Mels, pushed them together because it wouldn't be a universe worth living in if Amy and Rory weren't together. Because it would always be Amy and Rory. Together. Always.

"But, Tia, she did that to ensure her own existence!" Nuh uh! Nuh uh. Nuh uh, my beloved idiot. While there will be people who'll argue that River and Mels are different, I scoff at that notion. Sure, they look different. Sure, their mannerisms may differ a bit. But they're still the same person! It's like that argument that 12 loved River more than 11 lol don't talk to me. They're the same person, dude.

Anyways, point in case is Mels/River/Melody loves her parents dearly. In Time of Angels/Flesh of Stone, she shows off for Amy. Not the Doctor. But Amy. And it worked, Amy's admiration clearly shows on her face. She always makes sure Amy is alright. She comforts Amy when the angel in her eye is taunting her. She makes that teleport thing work to save Amy. She makes sure Amy holds on tightly. In The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon, she does the same. Always checking on Amy, holds her back when the Doctor is shot, tries to comfort her as she mourns the Doctor's "death". Idk man there's so much. It's all laid right there. In A Good Man Goes To War when she comforts Amy first before giving the Doctor what I like to call "The Talk". In The Wedding of River Song where Amy kept her own timey-wimey diary and brought out wine because there was a freak meteor which was her usual indicator that River would be coming around. That doesn't speak of stiff and stilted. To know someone at that kind of level.

Remember, darlings. Context is important. The dynamics between River, Amy, and Rory in The Angels Take Manhattan should be looked at in the context of the elder Ponds' near divorce. It doesn't mean that it represents the entirety of the dynamics of their relationship.

Also, something to add: River always looks first to her parents for approval and comfort. In The Impossible Astronaut the doctor shouts at her and she stands there frozen and unable to say anything because she cant just go "yeah btw the person I killed is you. Help us now?". And Amy covers for her, asks the doctor to trust *her* instead if he cant trust river, and River has physical relief on her face and looks at amy and says "thank you" with a small voice, and then she walks closer to them.

Theres countless other instances where River goes or looks or walks near her parents for comfort and safety, or to comfort them. Like even in Day of the Moon when Amy is taken, River tries to comfort Rory however she can, and then gives him the space he seems to need.

Rule #1: The Doctor lies. (And so does River Song). But their actions are always true.

OH. OH. And my favoritest moment of this kind is in Let's Kill Hitler. Goodness knows how often I've taken scenes from LKH to include in edits. The scene where 11 lies dying on the steps? wait now I remember I made a yap about that somehere in my drafts lol

anyways, I LOVE that scene. Where baby River keeps on looking back at her parents. Her facial expression is one huge (and imvho, adorably cute) "???". When Amy shows her who River is? 🥹 When she asks them if he's worth it? 😭🫶🏻

I feel like I'm being overdramatic (which has been heightened by how little sleep I'd gotten) but baby River is SO special to me. especially when I see people hating on LKH and TWORS. OH. ESPECIALLY TWORS. They say that Amy and River cornered the Doctor into marriage lmao and I was like "??? where?? when??" Apparently it was Amy's "Just tell him, River!" and I was like "no?? that's literally not??" stares angrily into blank nothingness for a hot minute then takes a deep breath

TWORS River is still relatively young compared to, say, AGMGTW River, who has grown confidence enough in herself to give the Doctor "The Talk™" after reassuring her mum that she was gonna be okay. TWORS River's face...

THAT face. That "???" face. Also, minor detour to the First Night minisode where River says "oooh you've gone all strict" after 11 says there are rules now. That made me think that were there no rules beforehand? you're telling me baby River was an adorably, chaotic gremlin running about time and space with the Doctor and her parents? with no rules? which could then tie in with her apparent confusion in TWORS. like I get the feeling she was confused over the Doctor acting that way. hmmm...interesting. just how spoiled did an older 11 make River? I should phrase that better.

aaanyways, i like to think the version of the Doctor that baby River is used to is implicit...-ish in whatever shenanigans they may have gotten up to. yeah. so.

back to what I was trying to say is that the Doctor is just bearing down hard on River. he's saying all this awful stuff. River's literally just trying to show/tell him what she's done and how he's loved by so many and so much and by no one more than her (SQUEEEEEEE). But the Doctor was too deep in his self-loathing space to hear her clearly. So Amy tells River she has her back and sod off to the Doctor for being a prick. Just a mum giving her baby girl a boost. That was what I saw. But I dunno. I'm just a girl who can relate to knowing how powerful a boost it is to have your mum be by you.

how often do you think Kate had to go space text River with a "please come fetch your spouse" pause "PLEASE"?

my tears ricochet but from the Doctor's POV

everyone talks about River's pain and River's love. they end up overlooking/diminishing the Doctor's love and the Doctor's pain.

AND I CAN GO ANYWHERE I WANT

ANYWHERE I WANT, JUST NOT HOME (both of them leaving and going places but missing the other because they've come to consider each other their home)

AND YOU CAN AIM FOR MY HEART, GO FOR BLOOD (awful, awful post-TATM argument)

BUT YOU WOULD STILL MISS ME IN YOUR BONES (they parted ways but still found themselves looking for each other in other people. the fez in River's bag. the bowtie that is their ring. the music room is the heart of the home.)

AND I STILL TALK TO YOU WHEN I'M SCREAMING AT THE SKY (the Doctor still talking to River out of habit. Data ghost River responds but he never lets fer know he can see and hear her and that he's always listening)

AND WHEN I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT, I HEAR YOUR STOLEN LULLABIES (the Doctor having trouble sleeping because he'd gotten used to sleeping with River around. he hears data ghost River singing him a lullaby)

I DIDN'T HAVE IT IN MYSELF TO GO WITH GRACE (reference: TATM - losing AmyRory. could also be 10's I don't want to go)

AND SO THE BATTLESHIPS WILL SINK BENEATH THE WAVES (their grief tearing them apart. post-TATM row)

YOU HAD TO KILL ME BUT IT KILLED YOU JUST THE SAME (pretty obviously Lake Silencio. in reverse, could be their post-TATM row)

CURSING MY NAME (Doctor - she's just an ex / River - The Doctor does not and has never loved me. [even though she is famously known as the consort of the Doctor, the perfect bait])

WISHING I STAYED (I like to think this references their post-TATM row where they parted ways which led to the Doctor "retiring" and River going on a space Robin Hood quest)

YOU TURNED INTO YOUR WORST FEARS (both unmoored without the other. they treated people like objects. shiny objects. mysterious objects. useful objects.)

AND YOU'RE TOSSING OUT BLAME, DRUNK ON THIS PAIN (River - whoever said he loved me back?)

CROSSING OUT THE GOOD YEARS (River - the Doctor does not and has never loved me)

AND YOU'RE CURSING MY NAME (River - the Doctor won't come for me; he's doing whatever the hell he wants and not giving a damn about me!)

WISHING I STAYED (again referencing their post-TATM domestic)

LOOK AT HOW MY TEARS RICOCHET (series of clips of the Doctor in tears or near tears)

my tears ricochet but from the Doctor's POV

everyone talks about River's pain and River's love. they end up overlooking/diminishing the Doctor's love and the Doctor's pain.

amy, rory and river deserved a full episode focused on their relationship & i’ll never be over it

The Doctor and River Song