daily quest: Enchant a door so that when you walk through it you will vividly recall exactly why you left your desk.

rewards: 100xp, 15gp, +1 to Focus

Nervously, I pull from the tarot deck. It's the Nine of Clocks. My fate is revealed to me: It's my bedtime, and I gotta go to sleeps

prometheus: hot take,

the greek gods: no give that back

I shouldn’t have laughed that loudly

someone has already posted this but buffy was definitely the funniest example of american tv using irish as a magical language for spells and the occult. mostly because this passage was very obviously copied and pasted from an article about a new bus lane

WIZARD COUNCIL 2021 APPROVED SPELL LIST:

Saw this, thought of us 😂

Okay okay, I think I’m doing the thing again where I’ve gotten grouchy with this book and I need to take a breath and just learn what I can from it. Not everything is for me, and that’s okay.

[turns the page]

“The Law of Attraction—“

yknow it's a real shame that romans didn't have access to australia specifically for augury reasons. i really wish i could have seen a roman augur have to deal with australian birds. like imagine trying to properly interpret an omen from a fuckin. cassowary

loving that the general consensus here is that "the omen when you see a cassowary is that you are about to die of cassowary"

The cassowary evaluates your innards, not the other way around

🍽️Spell of Motivation to do the Dishes🍽️

Spell Components Needed: +Sink full of Dishes +Incense & Lighter +Apron +Music playlist of your choosing

Steps: +See all the dishes in the dishwasher +Take the incense and light it +Put on the Apron and give the dishes in the sink a hard stare down and say:

“This is my gettin’ shit done Apron and you shits are getting done today.”

+Set up the tunes and show those dishes which witch is boss.

+Once the dishes are washed/rinsed and in the dish washer take your incense and perform a banishing, hereby banishing any further dishes from appearing in your sink.* (Note if your incense has run out while you’re doing the dishes you have my permission to light up another one.)

*This enchantment lasts until your next meal or until you remember you left pans on the stove and reluctantly leave them in the sink to “Soak” for a while.

Optional Steps: +Swear off dishes forever and eat directly from the pan +Use paper plates

2-2-2022 Please stay tuned for How to Enchant your Apron

A spell of personal reflection

You will need: a room and yourself.

Directions:

Oh yeah I love witches, how they just *clenches fist*

hoard useless things they’ll never even use

This is your daily reminder:

My Little Pony book with a death spell inside. Yes, it most definitely came home with me

Here, uh.... have a thing?

#also a suggestion for a sequel ->#the burning times: i put cinnamon oil in my bath spell#(DO NOT DO THIS.)

Yeah, this version is funnier.