I know you erased my password. Probably deleted my retinal scan. But if you want to stay ahead of me, Mr. Secretary… you need to keep both eyes open. — Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) dir. Anthony & Joe Russo

I. AM. GROOT.

So I got a text from a wrong number the other day and I decided to mess with them because I'm a terrible person...

I figured that they’d eventually text cancel, but they never did

Then I decided to change things up a bit

I don’t even know who this girl is, but she apparently thinks Cap’s birthday is kool

I figured, why not add another Avenger to the mix?

Then I said, what the heck, I’ll just send stuff about all of them

At that point, I knew this person was great (and I’m guessing she probably has a tumblr) but I wasn’t expecting them to respond at all, let alone in those amazing one word responses. 

It’s the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life’s joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.

We’re the fricking Guardians of the Galaxy!