START CRANKIN' IT

my new favorite thing is opening the books left around because god only fucking knows what you're going to find

i wish i had time to watch squidcraft but full disclosure im so busy lately its just hard to watch streams in general

society when you have only a semester and a half until you get a degree SMH

i folded, but etoiles in squidcraft

it's nearly 2025 why are we back in the fucking building

ykw maybe it's because his accent is comparatively not that strong (to me anyway) but god bless this fandom for never making me have to cope with endless posts about smajor talking too fast or weird or being difficult to understand or comparisons to disney pixars brave or reposts of r/scottishtwitter

honestly he took a bullet for us all by getting ahead of the curve he knew when people started reducing all the players to one character trait only his would be scottish so he switched tracks up and made it gay instead i can respect that

sorry i felt kind of weird about the fact mizkif was invited last year directly after his huge deal with assaulting that woman, but why is a borderline fucking nazi like adin ross being invited to the streamer awards? what is going on here? who is the panel of who decides gets nominations that hard fascist right wing streamers are being invited in? go fuck yourselves

trump himself is one thing but adin ross? fucking adin ross? he's a joke to every other streamer and a loser. its been obvious for a while the streamer awards does notttt really care about solidarity with female streamers who got assaulted because its supposed to be uplifting ^_^ for the whole community ^_^ and removing the perpetrators of assault from the party would just harsh the vibe so much :((( yay lets go meaningless popularity contest awards that make everyone ignore the problems with the streaming industry!

stealing your tags yeah im just inconceivably disappointed right now. she talks all the time about how irrelevant nominations are removed. i don't see why removing notable right wing jackass like adin ross wouldn't be allowed.

sorry i felt kind of weird about the fact mizkif was invited last year directly after his huge deal with assaulting that woman, but why is a borderline fucking nazi like adin ross being invited to the streamer awards? what is going on here? who is the panel of who decides gets nominations that hard fascist right wing streamers are being invited in? go fuck yourselves

trump himself is one thing but adin ross? fucking adin ross? he's a joke to every other streamer and a loser. its been obvious for a while the streamer awards does notttt really care about solidarity with female streamers who got assaulted because its supposed to be uplifting ^_^ for the whole community ^_^ and removing the perpetrators of assault from the party would just harsh the vibe so much :((( yay lets go meaningless popularity contest awards that make everyone ignore the problems with the streaming industry!

buncha 3rd lifers

no longer being nice about it learn to be normal about autistic people or die. i wish i was harsher about this before no more concessions no more excuses if your complaint with a person on why they need to be removed from a semipublic or public community is that they annoy you i hope you understand what its like to be isolated like that

all of my posting right now is the result of repeatedly hearing about another autistic person who people kept complaining about and i do the same fucking behaviors for but i got bullied so bad about those behaviors years ago already so i self isolate to an insane degree so i don't feel like im "bothering" anyone. i am continually upset with this fact about myself but trying to act against it is so deeply terrifying to an extent i constantly fear losing all of the friends i have. all because i got bullied over being socially awkward in the wrong way and had no friends for years. so really every time i hear a complaint over someone being annoying but no evidence of anything being wrong or when its like glaringly obvious a group has decided someone is autistic in a way they dont like and have sat together in discussions or some shit to go over all the times that person was maybe a bit of an asshole to compile as a list to remove them from a community i always just sit there like okay i hope you understand i am the wrong person to complain about this to because i am a victim of this specific kind of bullying and also i hope you understand it is very much bullying to do this and my sympathy for almost everything is out the window at this point. especially over other autistic people doing it. because it was always other autistic people who masked better or were more physically attractive or knew how to suck up better or were part of the main group and loooved that "fuck you got mine" mindset who would start the complaining so nobody gaf when the ugly chick with a bad attitude who cared too much about everything in the wrong way got kicked out or wanted to stand up for her. it's not just harmless gossiping when you use that gossip to isolate and hurt others. i dont want to see any more autistic people whos personalities are like open wounds or terrified deer in head lights because we see how everyone else gets treated around us for daring to commit the crime of being openly annoying. people dont have patience for annoying.

due to this it is unlikely i will be running any more public servers. (the ones i run in private are and will still be going.) i could not be more disappointed in finding out the community behaviors that started from a passion project of mine over the summer. do better.

are you normal about autistic people or do you hold someone's every "weird" and "strange" behavior against them

when someone does something that might be a little "odd" or is overly friendly even if you don't really love them, it costs nothing to simply be nice to them. or at least not hold that every behavior against them.

speaking as an autistic person who masks near constantly i absolutely notice when people hold behaviors against others ESPECIALLY when that other is autistic. and its deeply telling on which communities i take part in. if you cant handle someone else making social faux pas without deeming them to be a horrible person, then i don't want to put up with trying to mask harder and isolate myself further in order to "fit in." make your communities welcome to all autistic people or quit trying to present them as "welcoming to everyone." i dont care anymore. do better.

im sick of the minecraft community in particular being like this because it continually presents itself as being an autistic safe space, yet time and time again i see people decide that someone rps wrong or makes builds that aren't perfect with everyone else's or they don't understand jokes and suddenly that autistic person is a weirdo who needs to be out of the community. that doesn't make me feel better about playing video games with other people!! i see when people are made fun and i see that i do similar habits as these people who get mocked. it feels like a ticking time bomb of wondering when i will cross that line and im deemed no longer worth it to keep around because im awkward at times. its a miserable space to be in & why i isolate so heavily. i dont like seeing other autistic people go through what i went through as a teenager where i got bullied so heavily and left out of things because i didn't understand how to perform social cues right. whats the point of making a community if you cant even accept people who are socially awkward.

autistic people themselves are also not immune to this behavior of othering other autistic people. i am honestly extra critical of other autistic people at this point because i have been at the receiving end of so many other autistic people having a "fuck you ive got mine" attitude about kicking "annoying" people out of communities so much. im sick of having to mask & perform for other autistic people with such deepset self hate. throwing us under the bus won't make allistic people accept you more or think that cringe will never apply to you.

no longer being nice about it learn to be normal about autistic people or die. i wish i was harsher about this before no more concessions no more excuses if your complaint with a person on why they need to be removed from a semipublic or public community is that they annoy you i hope you understand what its like to be isolated like that

all of my posting right now is the result of repeatedly hearing about another autistic person who people kept complaining about and i do the same fucking behaviors for but i got bullied so bad about those behaviors years ago already so i self isolate to an insane degree so i don't feel like im "bothering" anyone. i am continually upset with this fact about myself but trying to act against it is so deeply terrifying to an extent i constantly fear losing all of the friends i have. all because i got bullied over being socially awkward in the wrong way and had no friends for years. so really every time i hear a complaint over someone being annoying but no evidence of anything being wrong or when its like glaringly obvious a group has decided someone is autistic in a way they dont like and have sat together in discussions or some shit to go over all the times that person was maybe a bit of an asshole to compile as a list to remove them from a community i always just sit there like okay i hope you understand i am the wrong person to complain about this to because i am a victim of this specific kind of bullying and also i hope you understand it is very much bullying to do this and my sympathy for almost everything is out the window at this point. especially over other autistic people doing it. because it was always other autistic people who masked better or were more physically attractive or knew how to suck up better or were part of the main group and loooved that "fuck you got mine" mindset who would start the complaining so nobody gaf when the ugly chick with a bad attitude who cared too much about everything in the wrong way got kicked out or wanted to stand up for her. it's not just harmless gossiping when you use that gossip to isolate and hurt others. i dont want to see any more autistic people whos personalities are like open wounds or terrified deer in head lights because we see how everyone else gets treated around us for daring to commit the crime of being openly annoying. people dont have patience for annoying.