hawaii five 0 - steve mcgarrett *updated*

(i was actually working on this before i posted the little thing about the last episodes of season 4, but i decided to post this anyway. ;) you can never have enough Steve whump, even if it isn’t very realistic, or often enough. okay.)

that being said, Hawaii Five 0 is my weakness. i’m not kidding. i have an obsession with this show. but especially with Steve Mcgarrett. his personality definitely works well for us avid whumpers, because he is reckless, definitely has a “hero complex”, and thinks he is “Superman”. thus, he should get hurt a lot. 

but that’s the problem. he doesn’t. and when he does, his injuries are really down-played, which is a huge bummer. for example:

season 1, episode 1: punched multiple times in the face, shot in the arm. oh, he’s fine… just has a few bruises, and needs his arm bandaged.

season 1, episode 9: slashed in the arm, fighting with his old friend new enemy, also punched in the face a few times, and had a nice cut above his eyebrow. his arm gets bandaged, tada. he’s fine. (i do love this scene, though.)

season 1, episode 20: falls backwards off a cliff (he was trying to climb back up after spotting a dead body while hiking with Danny) after a rock hits him in the face. lands on his arm. it’s broken. he gets taken to the hospital, gets a cast, and then tackles a guy a few hours later. no pain. really? 

season 2, episode 1: stabbed in the gut in prison (it’s a long story - you’ll have to watch it) and we get some nice sweaty, half-unconscious Steve in the ambulance, before he jumps out of a moving vehicle, and eventually makes it to Max’s place where Max bandages his wound. and he’s pretty much fine after that - even jumps onto a moving motor-boat, slams into the side, and gets up without any adverse effects. ha.

season 2, episode 10: he’s captured by Wo Fat, tortured (hit in the face, hit in the stomach many times, shocked with cattle prod.) and is at the end of his rope when Danno and the team show up to rescue him in North Korea. this episode as actually pretty good whump-wise. i think i’m just upset that they ended it with that, and in the next episode, he’s totally fine - just a few scars on his face from his ordeal. 

season 2, episode 16: hit by a freakin’ car while chasing a suspect. he’s knocked unconscious, and is bleeding, and after he goes to hospital, and gets a few band aids on his face, he’s totally fine for the rest of the episode. pretty much. there are a few delightfully whumpy moments, though. (also, i totally ship Steve and Lori.) oh, and he also falls off the roof of a hotel. sure, he lands on one of the room’s patios about 15 feet below, but still. ouch?

season 2, episode 22: involved in a plane crash, knocked unconscious, fights Wo Fat, nearly gets shot. once he gets back to Hawaii, not a word is said about it. sorry, babe, but you’d be hurting. seriously. (couldn’t find many pictures for this episode. sorry. but i do love this moment.)

season 2, episode 23: shot in the back - he was wearing a bullet proof vest, but still - gets up, not another word is said about it. I MEAN COME ON. you were still shot. that’s a lot of velocity. (broken ribs, at the very least?)

season 3, episode 17: dislocates shoulder, supposedly. he’s in some pain, they immobilize his arm, and he goes to the hospital to get it ‘put back in’. after that, he throws a football the length of half a football field, and is only slightly uncomfortable. (my brother dislocated his shoulder before. it hurts. a lot. and it takes about 3 weeks to heal.)

after throwing the football… like a very cute idiot.

season 4, episode 1: gets jolted pretty good landing a helicopter, and is apparently quite exhausted by the end of the episode. this is actually pretty accurate. after landing the helicopter, he’s pretty stiff and sore, and needs help standing up. 

season 4, episode 8: shot in the arm. sure, it was just a graze, and he gets it bandaged up in an ambulance and all that. but still. he was shot. aaaand, once again. it’s pretty much ignored for the rest of the episode.

now his arm is bandaged. and he’s totally fine.

(there is a little deleted scene that portrays the discomfort of his injury a little more accurately; i was actually rather frustrated that they cut it out, because it’s a sweet little tidbit. definitely gives a more ‘human’ portrayal of SuperSEAL Mcgarrett. you can watch it here.) 

season 4, episode 19: Steve and Danny are caught in an explosion that destroys an underground garage, and are stuck for almost the entire episode. the whump is sadly downplayed - Steve is unconscious after the explosion, but once he wakes up, any side-effects from having hundreds of pounds of concrete dumped on him are completely ignored. (Danny also gets a piece of rebar through his side, but once Steve removes it, his injury is pretty much ignored as well. seeing some patterns, H50 writers. there are some sweet moments between the boys, though.) 

season 4, episode 21: while in Afghanistan with Catherine in an attempt to rescue the son of a man who saved Cath’s life years before, Steve is captured by the Taliban, and tortured / badly beaten for information. he is almost beheaded, but it saved just in time, thanks to a phone call from Catherine to Danny, and our beloved Williams’ persistence and determination. the whump is actually pretty accurate in this episode (although I love our boy so much, it’s hard for me to watch it) but - like all the times before - the next episode completely ignores all physical and emotional trauma. (H50 is actually pretty good on the whump scale, just not on the follow-up.) this episode also has very good emotional whump, due to the fact that Catherine stayed behind in Afghanistan. 

(confession: i cried this entire episode. *clears throat* not kidding.)

season 5, episode 1: Steve is shot in the leg by a drone targeting civilians in the last half of the episode, and - kudos to Alex - the portrayal is pretty realistic, minus the part where Steve chases the suspect down (and catches him). he’s later taken to the hospital and has his leg tended to. 

(danny versus the balloons. ;) ^^)

okay, this is basically a rant of how Steve recovers too quickly, but i mean, really. i love his character so much. and H50 does do pretty good whump, but even without the whump, this is a show worth watching. i promise. 

note: this list is now complete, except for the latest episode (5x07) which i will be excluding for a few weeks, just to be safe. 

 *disclaimer: none of these images are mine, but are (according to my knowledge) used with the permission of the owner. 

I’m reblogging again this masterpiece of a list because 

A) I want to do a Steve whump oriented rewatch 

B) As mentionned above this is a masterpiece

C) This needs to be updated to current episodes.

D) Please @whumpgalore ?

OOoooooooohh

It’s like it’s Christmas or something O_o

OMG and let’s face it, season 1-4 were like the warm-up to season 5-8 and (early season 9)

Steve the Energizer Bunny @whumpgalore

oh man, i gotta update this ASAP. 😍 i’ll work on it, guys. i promise. 😉 (and yessss. so true @thekristen999 🙌🏼)

*squee*! Best xmas news ever @whumpgalore !

 @whumpgalore Awesome to hear. Seriously! But I hope @nihilvanum‘s note that most of the gifs were not credited to their creators, including several of his, is rectified. Maybe you can re-do it with the proper credit/permission if/when you update it because I would love to see it! There is so much to explore. :)

YES. @thekristen999 the people i’d contacted about using these weren’t the actual creators - and i definitely didn’t credit like i should have. my apologies (again!), @nihilvanum about that mixup… and i cannot for the life of me figure out how to go back and edit my post / or reblog and add credit below the photos. tumblr will. not. let me. (maybe on a computer it would? but mobile is all i have access to right now. 🙄)

so, you guys! the fabulous @nihilvanum created at least 5 of the gifs above (the 3 from 4x21 where Steve is on the stretcher & waking up and 2 from 5x01 where Danny is helping him walk) and didn’t get the credit in this post. i’m so sorry about that! thank you for telling me and being so understanding of my goof. 😬

i’ve learned a lot about crediting creators and artists since making this post and obviously didn’t do that with this… sooo. it won’t fix it, but i’m gonna start this over. i’m going to make a new (complete) list, and, if i use gifs, will use with permission & credit the right people this time!

if there are any more gifs here that were used without permission of the rightful creator (obviously, none of them are credited 🙈), please let me know and i’ll do my best to fix it.

–WG

I don’t actually have anything helpful, per say, to add - except that I know people aren’t happy with the times that they show Steve get his ass handed to him in various forms of torture or injury and then literally walk it off. 

Guys. 

That’s the most accurate thing about his portrayal of a character as a Navy SEAL. 

We had a guy who was part of one of the SEAL teams based out of VA Beach come in to the chiropractic center complaining of a stiff neck, and that he hadn’t been able to do his normal 20 mile run that morning because it was aching enough to bother him. So naturally, before they do any bending, twisting, or cracking, they run him through all the alphabet soup scans. 

He’d broken three vertebrae. Including his axis and atlas vertebrae. He didn’t believe them, and started shaking his head back and forth to prove to them “hey, look guys, totally can still move it” and I have never heard a doctor shriek like that in all my hours spent in a hospital (I was there as another patient - separate story). 

And that wasn’t even the worst case they’d had. That day. They’re so used to dealing with pain and stress that once they retire, their bodies start to break down from the lack of it (which is another really weird, creepy statistic). Steve getting hit by a car and next scene being “Well, that was annoying” is a dead on representation of a Navy SEAL. 

Just fun facts! (Though it doesn’t really help us with our desire for whump) 

White girls need to drop the AAVE and bring back "AS IF!!! 😒" and "GET IT TOGETHER" like y'all were eating in the 2000s!

bring this back

may i present my favorite twitter thread that compiled a list of tremendous white people phrases

Wait "use more often"? As if all these things aren't in my daily vocabulary?

Listen if I don’t respond to something in conversation with “cool beans” just assume I’m dead and an alien or demon has possessed my flesh.

i just rewatched the “blue shadow virus” episode and definitely DID NOT REMEMBER that there’s a point in it where anakin and obi-wan are just sitting together in the royal hangar, of all places, talking alone in the empty space, backlit by twilight stars. 

i mean, damn.  there’s so much meaning in that place.  the scene is so short - but what a place to set it.

OMG the feels...I never caught this. 

fanfiction is so wild cause im like…..ugh im not in the mood to read a book…..i’ll just read an 82k word fic instead……

Look…. To start a book… You have to make room in yourself for new characters and worlds. Do I look like I have the emotional energy for that? Do I look like I can trust like that right now? Just show me the things I already know pay good returns on my investment, except I also want to read something new so I guess they can be in a coffee shop this time.

This - this is it, you’ve put it into words

“you can’t make a lawful good character interesting and enjoyable”:

They went to the same University and ate at the same caf table in total silence for four straight years. They were best friends

crawling out of a multiple year tumblr hiatus to reblog this

Powers that hurt

telekinesis that gives the user a massive headache 

super strength that leaves them with sore muscles for days after use

pyrokinesis that gives a horrible burning sensation, felt even though there’s no physical evidence of it.

cryokinesis that chills them to the bones, leaving them with a desperate need to get someplace warm after every battle

heightened senses that mean the character is in a near-constant state of sensory overload

flight powers mean they have altitude related illness every time they go just a little to high a little to fast

aquakinesis that means that it’s harder to drown them but not impossible, that means they feel horrible when the humidity is too low

geokinesis that makes them terrified to be off the ground, whether they’re being carried or in a plane or flying in any way, they just hate it

Let’s talk about British Houses

One thing that sets a non-native writer on a course to disaster is using American phrases for things that involve houses and flats. 

One of the most common mistakes is regarding floors in houses or blocks of flats (never “apartments”). The ground floor is just that- what an American would call the first floor is to a Brit the next one up from the ground floor. The “second” storey is what an American would call the Third Floor and so on. Then there is the lower ground floor for a lot of flats in London, which an American might call the basement. Basement flat is usually called a “garden flat” because it’s often the bit that opens up into the back of the house that has been converted into flats. A lot of London is on little hills that mean the entrance from the road is a whole floor higher than the back of the house. 

That’s a thing.- OLD houses.  A lot of housing in London in particular was originally built as terraced single family homes (more like townhouses in American English) and then split into flats later. 221b is a prime example, although it is complicated by having the front of the ground floor taken up by Speedy’s Cafe. 

Not mentioned in the pictogram above is the name of rooms. Sitting room is still common, although living room is creeping in. The previous generation might also call it a “lounge” and some aristocrats with big houses would call it the “drawing room”. Not because they drew pictures in there, but because it’s short of “Withdrawing Room”, which is what the ladies used to do, when they were banished from the table so the menfolk could drink brandy and smoke cigars. 

Almost no one I know ever uses the word “parlour” although a lot of American fic writers seem to think it is used over here. Kitchen is the same in the UK as it is in the USA, but bathroom is never ever called “restroom” except by Americans.  WC (Water closet) is something you’ll see in public places, but I’ve never heard it used when referring to the loo in a home. 

In a lot of old houses, the loo and a wash basin are in a separate (tiny) room from the bathroom, so both can be used by different people at the same time. Increasingly though, modern flats are built to house the shower, tub, basin and loo in the same room. Also fashionable are “wet rooms” where there is a drain in the floor. Old houses were built before indoor plumbing was a feature so it can be hard to convert them to this sort of thing. I live in a 17th century thatched cottage so plumbing and electricity (hell, even the kitchen) are “new fangled” things that had to be fitted around things like three-foot thick chalk and flint walls. One of my five fireplaces (yeah, central heating is new too) still has an old “kitchen range”- a cast iron cooking stove from the 1950s that vents out of the chimney. 

Taps (never faucets) in the UK are different- and deserve a whole post on their own, if the reaction of my overseas visitors is anything to go by. We tend to have a hot tap and a cold tap, and mixer taps are now found only in kitchens or bathroom sinks where the cold water supply comes off the mains, rather than the cold water tank in the loft space (attic to you Americans). 

No old houses have built in closets; people used wardrobes- big pieces of furniture to hang their clothes in. “Fitted wardrobes” became a thing in the 1980s, and a lot of suburban houses now have them. “Walk in closets” are for rich people who will have gutted the interior of their house and built in these spaces, but they might call them “dressing rooms” instead of closets. 

A yard in Britain usually refers to a paved area behind the house. What Americans call a “yard” is called a garden here. In Britain “garden” is also a verb, because it is a national past-time in a way it isn’t in America. 

From the American side, just a few little things:

I am unsure if other states use “[going to] the movies (plural)” (and, ugh, the fact there can be different terminology from state to state can be a huuuuge pain even for people who live here) - anyway we always say “go to the theater” or “going to a movie” or “go see a movie”.  In noun usage we call it The Theater not The Movies.

Also for more of a same/same comparison to wardrobes we DO have dressers - though they tend to be smaller and amount to a series of drawers without the taller section for hanging garments.

For loo/restroom a bit of fine tuning - if we’re out to, say, a restaurant or store we call their facilities a restroom.  When at home we usually call it the bathroom or, if we;re feeling particularly fancy, the washroom (though that isn’t common usage - at least not in the Midwest).

Southern Californian. We say “going to the movies” here. Sorry :p “Going to see a movie” is another alternative. Can’t remember when I last heard “theater” for “movies”.

It’s always a bathroom and never a washroom here.

And finally, it’s always soda. Not pop or coke (unless it’s Coke the brand).

In New Jersey it’s always “soda”. But when I was working with a group of young teens in West Virginia which is just a couple small states away they stared at us like we were nuts and slowly asked “....you mean, pop?” Of course we were like “WTF is pop” and THEY were like “WTF is soda?? Ya’ll are weird!”

Here, with our close proximity to NYC and Broadway... “going to the theater” would refer to seeing a live stage production. Coincidentally... “going to the city” means a day trip to NYC. And “Going down The Shore” means a trip to a beach... even if you have to drive North to get there you are still going “down the shore”.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars Republic Military Hierarchy Flowcharts

When I first started watching The Clone Wars I got a little frustrated because the organization of the Republic Military was vague and confusing. I’m a details person, and I like to have things organized in my brain, so I looked and looked for something like a flowchart to explain how all the character ranks and units were connected to each other. I couldn’t locate anything comprehensive, and generally, if I can’t find something I want, I try to make it.

So here we are. I used a really intuitive site called Lucidchart to make these and it was super fun! I’m excited to finally share them, though I’m sure I’ll notice some mistake or other as soon as I hit “post.” ;)

I’ve done my best with this project but I’m not a Star Wars expert and have had to make judgment calls in some cases where there is conflicting or vague information. All information includes Canon and Legends/Expanded Universe material. I welcome sourced additions/corrections at [email protected] and will update the images periodically with any new information. The most recent upload date is in the notes in each image, so you’ll know if you have an outdated chart.

I’m posting some preview images below, but all the full-size images can be found HERE. They will show up small, but if you right-click on desktop or long-press on mobile, then select “Open image in new tab” the original size PNG files will come up.

Feel free to save/share these wherever. I just hope they are helpful for others and not too confusing! <3

+++

Grand Army of the Republic Hierarchy Flowchart

GAR Special Forces Hierarchy Flowchart

Republic Navy Hierarchy Flowchart

For people specifically interested in Obi-Wan and Cody’s 7th Sky Corps and 212th Attack Battalion, and Anakin’s 501st Legion, this last image is the section of the main GAR chart dealing with them:

Third Systems Army Hierarchy Flowchart

Finished!!

This started out much simpler in my head, but then when I was looking for refs I got inspired by a couple photos (Ariel Schalit - Associated Press, Reuters) and @treetart enabling me, and this turned into close to a 60 hour project. XD;

The very loose idea I had is that a few squads from the 212th, including a couple ARF troopers for recon, and one or two little TX-130 Saber-class fighter tanks for support, landed in hostile territory for some reason or other. They’ve been on their own for a few days and have just completed their objective, treated the wounded, and now most of them are resting while they wait for a pickup. Cody and Obi-Wan are, of course, being dads and watching over the sleepy boys. <3 (Also, kindly ignore the life support systems on the backs of their armor, which would prevent them from lying down normally. >_>; I just want them to be comfy!)

Helix the medic belongs to @swpromptsandasks, Hazard the medic belongs to @crystalshard, and Patches the ARF trooper belongs to me. I have vitiligo, and I’ve never painted anyone with it, so I wanted to give him a little patch. :)

Timelapse video

AO3

Twitch

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

Gotta try it

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

It’s called the Murder Strut.

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!

A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.

One day and I bumped into a guy while doing the Murder Strut and he apologized to me even though I was the one who had bumped into him.

It works wonders.

In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let ‘em know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them.

If there’s anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize I’m not moving for them, I can’t think of it atm.

Walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how.

Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you.

Tumblr: teaching women how to be Moses and part the fucking Red Sea with the power of their minds.

I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT

One of my favorite posts is back!

IT GOT LONGER AND BETTER AND THE GIFS ARE LIFE

A five-year-old child, Carver, sent Baby Yoda to firefighters in Oregon to thank them for all of their efforts.

They now take him everywhere:

Thank you, firefighters! 🙏

Il materiale di origine: Baby Yoda fights fires (Facebook)

This is the most wholesome thing I have ever seen. 🥺♥️

If April ends up worse I swear to God

Sure is something to read this post at the beginning of June.

It is September

Characters named Satine dying in Ewan McGregor’s characters’ arms

HENRY CAVILL as Sherlock Holmes in ENOLA HOLMES (2020) dir. Harry Bradbeer