"Tired of waking up from a 1000 year slumber with a detached leg and an offset head? Sick of vampire hunters laughing at you instead of cowering in fear? Don't be like Bloodrayne and get your coffins from sketchy sellers off the internet! At Sleep Country Transylvania, we offer only the finest custom-fitted coffins, specifically designed for all your vampiric needs!"
(Cover of Bloodrayne: Tokyo Rogue #2, Digital Webbing)