i keep making the most random fucking decisions hoping it would fix me but no! it makes things worse! i have this energy that has to go somewhere that isn’t always fucking dragging myself forward on and on which is this need to just make chaos and experiment but no! just angry determition and playing video games to get through each day for me
#look i love fandoms but i wish i could enjoy life that isn’t on the screen too#the thing that provoked this post is actually relatively minor#but given that things are bleak already#any extra amount of bullshit might append whatever semblance of functionality i’m trying to maintain#a blog as a diary