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#literally – @epitomeofloyalty on Tumblr
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Self Confidence Is The Best Outfit

@epitomeofloyalty / epitomeofloyalty.tumblr.com

Kiley. 25. NY. Gay af.
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HOROSCOPES FOR THE WEEK OF 3-29-15 - 4-4-15

Aries: It's okay to break down. It's not healthy to always pretend you're okay. We know it hurts. We're here for you.
Taurus: You like new & shiny things, but sometimes, the things you have already forgotten have far more value.
Gemini: Take a moment to breathe. You're doing a lot of talking, but not a whole lot of breathing. Listen to what the earth is telling you.
Cancer: They let you drown at the bottom of the ocean, but they didn't know they also left behind buried treasure. Look for it.
Leo: I know you feel empty when they kiss you. They'll start to realize it soon. You can't keep drowning on the ghosts of your past. You can't.
Virgo: Things will fall apart. It'll be okay. Not everything has to go according to plan. The best things are often unexpected.
Libra: You're a million miles from your house, but you could never feel more at home. Stay away for as long as you have to. Make roots elsewhere.
Scorpio: It seems like it happened years ago, but make time to right those you have wronged. They miss you dearly.
Sagittarius: Do not depend on one person for your happiness. People leave, but your happiness shouldn't.
Capricorn: Learn to feel a little more. Love is in the air, but you've got a gas mask on and an air filter.
Aquarius: You can't always explain why you feel something. Stop looking for answers when you should be creating questions for the universe.
Pisces: Don't break down. If they don't see it, open their eyes. If they don't feel it, touch them.
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When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.

Jesus I envy that relationship. 

this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”. 

My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.

i love all of your moms

When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.

simplypurkey

That last story is worth reblogging

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