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tell me we’ll never get used to it

@entropic-saudade

28, they/she. multifandom fic writer
ship & let ship, YKINMKATO, etc.
unofficial Dean translator
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Physical Graffiti

Author: entropic_saudade

Artist: BasketcaseBetty

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, John Winchester/Kate Milligan, Brief Ash/Dean Winchester, Past Lee Webb/Dean Winchester

Length: 62696

Warnings: Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Warn Additional Content Warnings: Self Harm, Alcoholism/Alcohol Use Disorder, Recreational Drug Use, Child Abuse, Past Non-Con, Past Underage, Past Drug Addiction, Minor Character Death, Mental Health Issues, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Canon-Typical Violence

Tags: AU, Journalist Dean Winchester, Detective Castiel, Case Fic, Families of Choice, Recovery, Inspired by Sharp Objects

Summary: The only ghosts and demons are the ones inside his head.   Fresh from a prematurely-ended stint at an inpatient psychiatric facility, ‘former’ self-harmer and functional alcoholic Dean Winchester returns to Sioux Falls, where he works as a crime journalist. His editor, Bobby Singer, sends him back home to Lawrence to gather the story on the murder of a teen boy and the recent disappearance of another. Painful memories from growing up resurface, and the investigation is further complicated by the town’s gossipy tight-knit nature, Dad’s judgment, and botched attempts at making inroads with his estranged half-family, Kate and Adam Milligan. Dean crosses paths with Castiel Novak, a renegade detective from Kansas City with a troubled past of his own. They work together, slipping past each other’s facades, digging down toward the truth.   As it turns out, monsters just might be real—and they just might live at home.   A Sharp Objects-inspired AU.

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NOW STREAMING: COMMUNION

For @deancashorrorfest, the fic and art are now live!

Title: Communion

Summary:

Few areas in the world are subject to the polar night phenomenon, a period where the sun never rises above the horizon.

When Castiel Novak reaches out to the Winchesters for help, convinced that vampires are about to descend upon one such town during the upcoming polar night, the boys head up to Point Hollow, Alaska to clear the nest before night falls.

What was meant to be a three-day stay devolves into sixty-five days of bloodshed and darkness as resources dwindle and bodies start dropping. Overwhelmed by the calculated organization of the creatures and the size of their nest, it quickly becomes clear that there’s more to the ‘vampires’ than initially seemed.

They’re cunning, they’re ancient, and they’re powerful—and they’ll stop at nothing to be satisfied. But between the starving people and starving creatures, Dean manages to find solace in Castiel—who just might be holding a secret himself. A secret that is key to destroying the creatures and their master, once and for all.

Wordcount: 50-60k

Rating: E

Select Tags: AU, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Survival Horror, Inspired by The Strain, Inspired by 30 Days of Night

Thank you to @xfancyfranart for the gorgeous art, I love the contrast between the beauty of the Aurora and all the blood and devastation. Your Cas is so beautiful, too---maybe even more so than the Northern Lights ;)

Come satisfy your hunger and thirst... if you dare!

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reblogged

Title: Physical Graffiti

Author: entropic_saudade

Artist: BasketcaseBetty

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Endgame Dean Winchester/Castiel, Brief Dean Winchester/Ash, Brief Dean Winchester/Max Banes, John Winchester/Kate Milligan, Past John Winchester/Mary Winchester, Past Dean Winchester/Lee Webb, Past Dean Winchester/Cassie Robinson, Past Dean Winchester/Others, Past Castiel/Others, Implied Bobby Singer/Rufus Turner, Past Bobby Singer/Karen Singer, Harper Sayles/Vance, Edward Carrigan/Madge Carrigan, Jenny Sorenson/OMC, Larry Pike/Joanie Pike, Background Max/Stacy.

Length: 75000

Warnings: Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings. Additional Content Warnings: Self Harm, Alcohol Use Disorder, Recreational Drug Use, Child Abuse, Past Non-Con, Past Underage, Past Drug Addiction, Minor Character Death, Mental Health Issues

Tags: Case Fic, Murder Mystery, Horror Elements, Slow Burn, Journalist Dean Winchester, Detective Cas, Eventual Hopeful Ending, Families of Choice

Posting Date: November 4, 2024

Summary: The only ghosts and demons are the ones inside his head.  Fresh from a prematurely-ended stint at an inpatient psychiatric facility, ‘former’ self-harmer and functional alcoholic Dean Winchester returns to Sioux Falls, where he works as a crime journalist. His editor, Bobby Singer, sends him back home to Lawrence to gather the story on the murder of a teen boy and the recent disappearance of another. Painful memories from growing up resurface as the missing boy turns up horrifically dead and another goes missing.  The investigation is further complicated by the town’s gossipy tight-knit nature, Dad’s judgment, and botched attempts at making inroads with his estranged half-family, Kate and Adam Milligan.  Dean crosses paths with Castiel Novak, a renegade detective from Kansas City with a troubled past of his own. As they work together, they slip past each other’s defenses, unearthing each other’s secrets and digging for the truth.  As it turns out, monsters just might be real—and they just might live at home.  A Sharp Objects-inspired AU.

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Gone John

Artist: Rainy

Rating: T

Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, Canon Compliant, Epistolary, Inspired by Gone Girl, Cool Girl Monologue but it's about dads

Summary:

November 2, 2005.

I am so much happier now that I am dead. Technically, missing—just for a few days. Soon it’ll be enough days that the presumption ‘dead’ can be reasonably tossed in the air. Gone.

And my loyal, needy, split-apart boys will be left to reunite and pick up my trail only to never find me unless I need them to.

AKA a glimpse at John’s real journal.

My last fic for @crack-in-the-chassis! Thank you to @rainythursdaynight for catching my pitch and doing such an honest portrayal of John. Give Rainy's art post some love! This pitch was one of my more spur-of-the-moment ideas but it was great to see it all come together, I'm living for John and his pink pen. The banner was so fun to make in the style of one of the Gone Girl movie posters.

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Can You Tell Me How To Get [the Hell out of] Sesame Street?

Artist: Mortea

Rating: T

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence (S9), Fix-It of Sorts, Crack Treated Seriously, Puppets

Summary:

There’s no guidebook on being a prophet of the Lord. Some things are instinctual—protect the tablets, how to translate, zigzag when being chased by a moose, and so on. But even Kevin, who is an Advanced Placement, once-on-the-track-to-the-Ivy-Leagues certified genius, has no idea what to make of the world when he finds himself stuck on Sesame Street.

Oh, and everyone he knows is a puppet.

AKA none sanity with left puppets.

For @crack-in-the-chassis, thank you to Mortea for catching my pitch and making the incredible art that brought it to life. I love Oscar the Grouch!Bobby with my whole heart <3

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Would You Still Love Me If I Was a Worm?

Rating: T

Tags: AU, Crack Treated Seriously, Fix-It, Worms, 5+1 Things

Summary:

Pissed that Dean and Cas still haven’t fixed everything between them after everything they’ve been through, Rowena casts a spell.

Dean finds the answer to the age-old question, “Would you still love me if I was a worm?” the hard way.

AKA 5 times Dean still doesn’t get it, and one time he does.

For @crack-in-the-chassis, I had so much fun getting to play around with this and getting to see @squeakyhalfling's amazing art that brought it to life! Thank you so much for catching my pitch, it was great working with you. Also Heidi Klum Worm Costume!Dean is EVERYTHING.

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Happy International Moon Day!

For Better_Than_Chocolate, here is my fic for the ProfoundBond Server's Gift Exchange (theme: space).

Title: See You on the Dark Side of the Moon

Rating: M

Tags: Endgame Dean/Cas, Alternate Universe, Prisons, Escape, Russian Castiel, Anachronisms, Bittersweet Ending

Summary:

In an alternate timeline where the Cold War's space race ended with a treaty on mutually assured destruction, present-day rebels are sent to a specialized prison to serve their sentences on the dark side of the moon. 

The more that new inmate Dean Winchester uncovers about the prison's secrets, the more intent he becomes on escaping. To succeed, he’ll need the help of a hardened lifer: the reclusive ‘angel of death’, Castiel Krushnik.

Link to the fic: Ao3

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Title: Do Angels Dream of Electric Sheep?

Author: entropic_saudade

Artist: BasketcaseBetty

Rating: M

Tags: Alternate Universe, Inspired by Cyberpunk 2077, Mercenary Dean Winchester, Sex Worker Castiel, Aftermath and Recovery from Mind Control, Body Modifications, Canon-Typical Violence, Communication Issues, Families of Choice, Happy Ending

Summary: 

Night City, California, 2077.

After Dad’s death leaves Dean a clan of one, Dean puts life on the road in his rearview mirror and follows in his little brother’s footsteps to the so-called City of Dreams. Unlike Sam, who went the corpo route, Dean becomes a merc-of-all-trades, doing anything it takes to make enough eddies to survive and make a name for himself before the lights go out.

When offered a lucrative job to locate some missing property from Cloud 9, a dollhouse deep in the megabuildings of Westbrook, Dean takes it with little hesitation— only to find that the ‘property’ in question is one of Naomi’s ‘angels’, a doll named Castiel.

Finding the wayward doll is just the beginning, as the job spirals far beyond a simple bounty hunt, and Dean is reminded of what matters most as he discovers a corporate conspiracy lurking beneath all the shiny chrome and neon lights of Night City.

Thank you to @basketcasebetty for the art and prompt which inspired the fic! It was such a complex and interesting world to delve into and translate into an SPN story. I hope you enjoy it!

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My @5kby5may fic is posted!

Title: And Busey for the Eulogy

Summary:

“Okay, look. I want a big funeral, alright? I’m talking epic. Okay? Open bar, choir, Sabbath cover band, and Gary Busey reading the eulogy.” -Dean, 11x23 Alpha and Omega

“Done,” Sam had said, not wanting to deny a man about to die. The loss hadn’t sunk in yet— and he hadn’t actually lost Dean, then.

But Dean is gone now, so Sam sets out to give his brother the funeral he always wanted.

Relationship Tags: Sam & Dean, Sam/Eileen, Cas/Dean, background Claire/Kaia

Tags: Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Temporary Major Character Death, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, Unfavorable and Possibly Libelous Depictions of Gary Busey

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We Got Werk to Do

Artist: BasketcaseBetty

Author: entropic_saudade

Rating: Mature

Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel, Background Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy, Background Claire Novak/Kaia Nieves

Length: 28060

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Tags: Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Crack Treated Seriously, Drag Queens, Temporary Amnesia, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, Mentioned Canonical Character Death, Families of Choice, Declarations of Love

Summary: Dean stepped into the Empty, expecting nothing but darkness. Instead, he stepped onto the colorful set of the 666th season of RuPaul’s Drag Race, facing off against competitors with very familiar faces. When ‘Lip Sync for your Life’ is literal and ‘elimination’ probably means nothing good, Dean has to embrace all the things he’s been afraid to admit out loud to make a passable drag queen worthy of a season finale, all the while trying to find a way to get through to Cas and get back home.

Here is my DCRB! I was so excited that I got to claim the gorgeous art by @basketcasebetty, and had a lot of fun writing this fic.

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Everlasting

Author: @entropic-saudade Artist: @golby-moon Rating: M Word Count: 10,227 Pairing: Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak

Tags: Post Canon Fix-It, Scarification, Kink Discovery, Holidays, Love Is Stored in the Stab Wound

Summary

After getting Kaia back, Claire decided she wanted a permanent memento of their love. Nothing was so permanent as a scar, and getting one from Kaia would be a fitting homage to when they first met. The issue was finding someone who would help them safely turn Claire’s wish into reality. When Dean comes around, looking for Claire’s help in getting something that will help get Cas back from the Empty, he agrees to a quid pro quo. After all, Dean was probably the only other person who fully understood what scars and stabbing have to do with love.

Stickers:

It was so fun working on this, thank you to golby for the adorable art 💕 some stabbings and holiday cheer for the season

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Baby's Driver

Author: entropic_saudade

Artist: Sketcheun

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel, Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy, Past Bobby Singer/Karen Singer, Past Bobby Singer/Crowley,

Length: 141699

Warnings: Major Archive Warnings: Graphic Depiction of Violence Other Warnings: Alcohol Use, Recreational Drug Use (Marijuana), Gun Violence, Canon-Typical Child Abuse, Canon Character Death, Minor Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Illness , Medical Treatment, Ableism, Kidnapping, References to Torture, PTSD, Canon-Typical Trauma

Tags: Heists, Music, Neurodivergent-Coded Characters, Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Car Chases, The Mixtape, The J-Turn, Selectively Mute Dean Winchester

Summary: Dean has been working as a getaway driver for Crowley for 14 years, and has survived by developing a few simple rules: always pick the right music, keep an eye on the time, never give out his real name, and most importantly, make no personal connections with anyone on the job. Making no personal connections with anyone new is easy when he has difficulty talking in his own words. Enter Cas, who, in order to pay for his nephew Jack’s life-saving medical treatment, decides to break bad by joining Crowley’s operations. Unlike most of his brothers, he’s new to the world of crime, but their driver’s skills and quiet demeanor have a way of reassuring him. Throughout the course of several months, their rules fall to the wayside as they fall for each other, each unable to say the words ‘I love you’ for differing reasons. Cas’ past family life complicates things when Lucifer comes around wanting to know how Cas is getting the money to pay for Jack’s treatment. Everything comes to a head when Dean is kidnapped for one final job. A Baby Driver-inspired AU.

AHHH

I’m so excited to post for this year’s DCBB and to have worked with @sketcheun, who produced some incredibly vivid art that captured the emotionality and movement of the fic perfectly.

Thank you also to @a-qualitystudentharmony for being my beta and alpha reader. Without our near daily sprints this fic would not have been finished, or even made it to claims.

This was a labor of love. I’m a little sad to let this baby go, but I hope you all enjoy it. I have a few timestamps planned for the future, and am working on a companion doc for the fic so I can share all the music, references, and resources that went into it.

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Title: Baby's Driver

Author: entropic_saudade

Artist: Sketcheun

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Endgame Dean/Cas, Sam/Eileen, mentioned past Sam/Jessica, past John/Mary, mentioned background Belphegor/Ardat, past Kelly/Lucifer, past Bobby/Karen, implied past Dean/Lee Webb, mentioned past Dean/others, mentioned past Cas/others, Garth/Bess, past Bobby/Crowley, Chuck/Becky, past Chuck/multiple unnamed women

Length: 140000

Warnings: Major Archive Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence Other warnings: ableism, graphic depictions of illness and injury, graphic depictions of medical treatment, childhood cancer and associated diseases, canon-typical violence, canon-typical child neglect, canon-typical childhood trauma, trauma, sexual harassment, minor character death, mentioned sexual assault, kidnapping, alcohol use, mentioned alcoholism, guns.

Tags: Alternate Universe, getaway driving, heists, music, selectively mute Dean, neurodivergent characters, mutual crushes, found family, happy ending, pop culture references.

Posting Date: October 23, 2023

Summary: Dean has been working as a getaway driver for Crowley for the last fourteen years, and has survived by developing a few simple rules: always pick the right music, keep an eye on the time, never give out his real name, and most importantly, make no personal connections with anyone on the job.  Making no personal connections with anyone new is easy when he has difficulty talking in his own words.  Enter Cas, who, in order to pay for his nephew Jack’s life-saving medical treatment, decides to break bad by joining Crowley’s operations. Unlike most of his brothers, he’s new to the world of crime, but Gabriel’s list of survival tips, and their driver’s skills and quiet demeanor have a way of reassuring him.  Throughout the course of several months, their rules fall to the wayside as they fall for each other, each unable to say the words ‘I love you’ for differing reasons.  Cas’ past family life complicates things when Lucifer comes around, wanting to know how Cas is getting the money to pay for Jack’s treatment. Everything comes to a head, and they realize just how connected their world is when Dean is kidnapped.  A Baby Driver-inspired AU.

This fic has been my baby (pun intended) for the last few months and I’m so excited to share it with you all.

Thank you to @crispr-cas ( @sketcheun ) for being my artist and for the amazing promo banner!

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reblogged

When We Begin Again

Hozier song: All Things End

Beta Reader: @outofnowhere82

Main Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Rowena

Pairing/s: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester

Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Episode coda to Regarding Dean, Temporary Amnesia, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Fluff, Broments

Summary: The spell Rowena uses in Regarding Dean doesn't work right away. Dean has to learn who he is all over again, with Sam by his side.

COMING AUGUST 7TH!

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Succession // American nightmares: The haunted house formula in American popular fiction

This post affected the way I saw the show so much that it haunted me after watching the finale last Sunday. I’ve spent all my free time this week writing a post-finale fic that touches on the type of ending they got

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