Christmas Reading

Source for comic: Moderately Confused

it was the best of times it was the worst of times

it was the combination best and worst of times

i love that charles dickens got paid by the word. like i cant even be mad when he’s boring and long-winded bc i would do xactly the same??? i wouldnt use contractions or colours at all. want to say the word red? too bad. we r now only using “the colour of freshly-spilled blood on snow; the hue of the horizon when the sun sets over the deserts of sub-saharan Africa” BOOM guess who can afford 2 eat now: me and my boi dickens 

What I love about Alexandre Dumas, in contrast, is he got paid by the line. So it’s not really wordy, it more like 80% dialogue which makes it sound pretty modern but also ends up like-

“Where are we going now?”

“We are going to the city.”

“Which city?”

“Paris.”

“We are going to Paris?”

“Yes.”

# can you imagine the kind of extended torture we would have been subject to if victor hugo had been paid by the pun (via vlajean)

The fact that Dickens got paid by the word is actually a myth, but this post is too funny to pass up.

I’m head over heels in love with Mallory Ortberg, by the way

I almost snorted coffee out my nose over the Wakefield twins one.

“there’s a character called Master Bates.”

“How long do you suppose, sir, that an hour is to a man who is choking for want of googly eyes?”

From  How I Became a Famous Novelist by Steve Hely

JFC.

I am about to die from laughing.  

dukeofbookingham

OMG

Remembering some classic Mr Burns with news of Harry Shearer leaving The Simpsons

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You can’t intimidate a librarian, idiot. They’ve seen it all.