aight fuckers I’m doing it I’m spending a full $4 to watch the first lotr movie, for the first time
so like I get, you know, power and malice and cruelty were ‘poured’ into the rings, but like. what did they actually put in those things. what fuckin gold gives a ring malice. why did the elves only get three.
holy shit it’s Agent Smith with pointy ears
this ring was made of weet-bix and nutri grain
it was in this moment, when all hope was lost, that issieldor-whoever took up his father’s sword -
I’M SORRY BUT I’M LAUGHING THE RING GIVES THE BIG BAD GUY LIKE DARK MAGIC AND A DEMON ARMY TO CONTROL BUT EESEELDOOR PUTS IT ON AND HE JUST TURNS INVISIBLE
holy shit I just experienced seven and a half minutes of introductory exposition by a mysterious lady who apparently thinks VERY little of hobbits
omg is this WHOLE movie exposition
it has been remarked by some that a hobbit’s only real passion
is for food
FOOD
a wizard is never late
says Ian McKellan, wishing he was Julie Andrews, Queen of Genovia
I know absolutely nothing about either of these two but I already fucking love their relationship it’s beautiful
OH SO BILBO’S THE FUCK THAT CAUSED ALL THOSE JUMP SCARES
oh shit son he’s got the ring and the golem voice
okay so that’s pretty fucking cute
apparently every hobbit has an instinctual urge to hug Ian McKellen and honestly? same
