yknow I really don't understand why monster dicks are allowed to be weird and animalistic and fucked up looking but god forbid pussy look like anything other than a small hairless smooth hole justice for weird pussy shapes
Fuck yeah
In fact get freakier with it
Hey guys>:D We made another demo!
Ecliptica and Sculptor are finally have their own voices~
Why do so many people make tiktoks while they're clearly driving. What the fuck. Stop that shit, you're gonna kill someone.
I think people online treat driving too casually tbh, like there was a poll about people's bad habits while driving and they weren't bad habits or problematic or whatever, they were all things that literally kill people every single day. You are driving a massive vehicle that can very easily turn into a murder weapon with your carelessness, take this shit seriously.
"Haha I never use my turn signals" you are going to kill someone.
"I don't do full stops at stop signs lol" you are going to kill someone.
"Sometimes I text while I'm driving 🤭" YOU ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE.
Also people who speed up or suddenly stop or swerve a lot to freak out someone in the car for fun: it stops being funny when you get into a car accident because of it. Just so you know.
I wish my dad had an interest so I could get him a Christmas present based on it
Get him a sword
I'm a scifi writer what makes you think I have sword money
You could check in your area, or online, and see if there is a liquidation shop near you. Up in my part of Canada we have a liquidation chain (Bianca Amor) where you can get liquidation swords for very affordable prices.
If your shop don't have cheap swords, you never know what other weird/neat gift ideas they may hold.
I GUARANTEE THAT MY AUSTRALIAN COUNTRY TOWN DOES NOT HAVE SWORD WAREHOUSES WITH EXCESS SWORDS ON SALE
IF PEOPLE WANT SWORDS THEY GO ONLINE OR DRIVE SIX HOURS TO THE CITY
what about learn how to make them, are there any hobbyist blacksmiths do you think
I need you to understand that all the nerds in my town move to the cities after high school. There's me, a few guys who run the comic shop, and a legion of Warhammer-playing teenagers waiting out the last few years of high school so they can move to the cities. The medieval fair happens once a year here and that's the one day a year that the women all get excited to put on longer-than-normal dresses that they wouldn't wear otherwise (that's be weird, people would stare!) and buy knockoff versions of Disney products sold by vendors who drove here from the cities.
I was stage manager for one of my dad's plays a couple of years ago and I had to explain to the theatre group what larp was. To the theatre group. The THEATRE GROUP didn't know what larp was.
I explained and they DIDN'T GET IT. I then had to explain the basics of a tabletop rpg (I just said 'dungeons and dragons' because most of them recognised those words) and didn't get particularly far.
The "nerdy" girl in the theatre group asked me if I'd ever heard of this new thing going around called "superwholock". (This would've been around 2020 or 2021). My only response to Superwholock being called this new thing was a sort of stunned "uh, yes, I'm on Tumblr." She then asked me what Tumblr was.
Do you live in the smurf village
Non-Australians literally have no concept of how much of Australia outside the main cities is just four-fifths of fuck all as far as human stuff is concerned.
I grew up in a place that was so small and regional that it had a "welcome to" and a "now leaving" sign on either end of the one street that went through town. The distance between the two was short enough that if you were driving the speed limit and held your breath when you drove past "welcome to" you wouldn't be struggling for breath when you got to "now leaving".
It was a big deal when they got a roundabout for fucks sake because it meant they'd put another road in. For a grand total of TWO ROADS.
Australian towns are great, they're like those low-nutrient-density extremophiles in the ocean except it's for low population. The "town" I grew up in was a primary school and a town hall in the middle of a bunch of farms. The town hall was used one time a year for a market where the farmers sold potted plants to each other and the kids got their faces painted and stuff. The school had 31 students; when my brother and I left that school to attend the one in the next town over (was so fancy that they had a primary school AND a high school and the high school had an actual library, an entire room of books that I think also counted as the town library although I only ever got to go there like twice so I might be wrong) then they had to fire a teacher because the school could no longer support 2 full time and 1 part time teachers.
The fired teacher (the part-timer) was everyone's favourite. She came to work at our new school. We stole a teacher.
#this is so funny#derin you live in the same line of place my 102 yr old grandma grew up in#presumably fewer cows though#her family had a dairy farm
We had cows, we were a sheep and cattle farm (for meat). My grandfather used to have a dairy farm though. It was in a delightful place called Dismal Swamp.
Dismal Swamp.
also, Americans need to know that Derin's small town is like, the biggest small town in the state, because Australia is just THAT urbanised.
I regularly go to work in a place that is considered one of the biggest small towns in the northwestern corner of Australia. People were excited when an IGA opened, in 2021, because that brought the number of supermarkets within 150km of residents from 1 to 2.
I confess I’ve been drawing @1spooky2me’s bill again…
And a bonus:
have a tiny stan everybody :3
Everyone talks about Ford correcting Stan's grammar but no one talks about Stan refusing to hold Ford's hand over a thank you literally seconds beforehand.
Does Stan have the right to want Ford to thank him and be mad at him? Yes. But this is the fucking end of the world. If Ford is petty for correcting Stan's grammar then so is Stan.
Anyway peace✌️
tell me something nice
if you grow mushrooms over a toxic waste site, chemical spill, or other polluted growing medium, they will suck up the toxins into their fruiting bodies with such effectiveness that they are being studied for their ability to clean up tainted industrial sites. it’s called mycoremediation.
if you do this with edible mushrooms, they are no longer technically edible, but on the other hand they make a great way to poison your enemies. this is called murder and it’s usually frowned upon, but they won’t see it coming and you get bragging rights afterwards about your ability to kill people with a pizza topping.
Sorry this was not precisely most people’s idea of “nice.” Let me add that you are a glow of comforting absurdity in an ever-more-fucked-up world.
I love everything about mycoremediation, but also
Slightly on the topic of removing toxic waste:
A hairdresser noticed that with oil spills, one of the biggest issues was the impact on wildlife because oil loves clinging to fur and feathers.
They used felting methods to create like a mat of hair & used it on a small scale test & it worked really well, the hair mainly stayed on top of the water like the oil & absorbed it like a sponge while leaving creatures & plants alone.
NASA is now working on large scale uses with the help of donated clippings from hair dressers and pet groomers.
And the hair can then be composted with the help of mushrooms.
there’s a lot going on here
Tiger found caged in abandoned home gets second chance at wildlife sanctuary: ‘He seems to be so happy’
The estimated 350-pound tiger was transported to the facility, an affiliate of the Humane Society of the United States, on Wednesday afternoon, and is settling in well, Almrud said. There, he will have the chance to roam in enclosures of up to three acres.
Almrud, who estimates him to be about 2 years old, described the moment he first walked onto the grass at the sanctuary as remarkable.
“It was just amazing to see him walk out on grass and to see him explore and have that freedom of movement,” she said. “It was just such a reward and fulfilling to us.”
Now, he spends his days rolling around the grass in glee, Almrud said.
“He comes right up to the fence every time a staff member is present,” she said. “He seems very amenable to our presence.”
The tiger is eating well – a combination of chicken, humanely raised non-processed beef and whole prey complete with organs and bones. It appears that he was being fed chicken, which is what owners of exotic cats often feed them, but chicken alone does not provide the complete nutrition they need to thrive, Almrud said.
In addition, caregivers are tasked with keeping the tiger mentally stimulated by creating “pretend hunting” games and rotating him through different areas so he has access to new smells and environments to explore.
“He seems to happy and content,” Almrud said. “Our staff is just falling in love with him.”
this one is frommm(squints. 2022.
Lemon.
Where did my lemon go
My suspiciously pink lemonade:
not only should abortion be free i think they should let you pick out a toy like at the dentist
guardian of the sewing kit
SEIS fag sex? En esta economia?
One quiet day on the farm, the Little Red Hen found some wheat seeds and decided to make bread.
"Who will help me plant these seeds?" the Little Red Hen asked.
"I would." said the Horse "But I'm a workhorse, and I'm too busy moving carts around."
And so the Little Red Hen planted the seeds by herself. And they grew into bountiful golden crops.
"Who will help me harvest the wheat?" the Little Red Hen asked.
"I would." said the Dog "But I'm a guarddog, and I'm too busy keeping away burglars and predators."
And so the Little Red Hen harvested the wheat herself and made it into flour.
"Who will help me bake the flour?" the Little Red Hen asked.
"I would." said the Pig "But I'm a mother of 5 newborn piglets, and I'm too busy taking care of my young."
And so the Little Red Hen baked the bread herself into twenty beautiful loaves.
"Who will help me eat the bread?" the Little Red Hen asked.
"We would." said the Farm Animals. "But we're ashamed, for we didn't do anything to make the bread."
"Nonsense!" said the Little Red Hen. "You, Horse, helped move around the stones that built my oven. You, Dog, kept me safe while I worked. And you, Pig, are raising a new generation of Farm Animals, who will too contribute to our Farm one day. You've all helped me so much by simply being you."
"Besides," the Little Red Hen added. "I couldn't possibly eat all the loaves on my own, most of them would go to waste. Come, eat with me."
And so the Little Red Hen and the Farm Animals ate the bread together. And all saw their own, and each other's, worth.
better
This healed a very old wound
the most compelling thing a guy can ever say is to another guy and it's "i wish you were a girl" . like record scratch. wow the implications that this phrase has. i think it needs its own bechdel test
