My kind of comedy

so I know Six Hundred Strike has us all in a chokehold, but can we talk about how Dangerous had "six hundred deaths under my command, cause I had only one goal in mind" and then dead silence for three seconds

-At the winter solstice -

Zeus:…….

Poseidon: Not. One. Word.

Zeus: I just - how do you get your ass beat by a mortal, with your own weapon and your own storm.

Poseidon: I don’t know??!?!? It’s like he wasn’t a mortal at the time! Like some other force was helping him!

Zeus: Oh Whatever. Are you saying he had some kinda divine intervention from one of us to beat you?

Poseidon: That’s the only explanation!!

Zeus: You can’t honestly….

Hades: Oh yeah, that was me. I gave him a little boost to help him beat you.

Zeus:…..

Poseidon: … Hades, what the fuck.

Hades: Next time, don’t drown 500 mortals on me and Persephone’s date night.

just overheard my wife spelling something on the phone and i shit you not saying the words “E as in Eeyore” i am on my hands and knees wailing screaming crying pleading and begging people to learn the NATO phonetic alphabet

like the reason this exists is because none of the words sound like each other, which means that even with a terrible signal both parties should be able to clearly understand the words being spelled

i am dead serious that i believe this should be taught in school

Rare Odysseus W

Petition to bring back the boop function next year for the ides of March where instead of a paw on the screen it’s a little knife that Caesar gets stabbed with

♬⋆.˚ Well it's a little bit dangerous, my friend˚.⋆♬

FUCK THIS COUNTRY

message to all bitches

please survive

hey if you're trans in the us i love you. hey if you're queer in the us i love you. hey if you're a person of color in the us i love you. hey if you're a woman in the us i love you. hey if you're disabled in the us i love you. i love you i love you i love you

Everyone on my dash is either clearly fucked up drunk/high or gently reminding people not to kill themselves tonight this feels truly apocalyptic

Last stream Scar talked about how distracting Tango was one of his very favorite things to do. Tango´s stream title today:

Happy Halloween

10,000 notes. This is it. The big one. I’ve made a popular post on Tumblr. My life is complete

i know i am no body but i need 1 minute of fame as other so please please take my pic